You know you are in Florida in July when...

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs! .
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

---I can attest personally to remembering this being the case, many many times...

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

---Again, another absolute truth...

You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

---Or one, at least until the steering wheel cools off...

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

---This is why all Floridians have one arm darker than the other (left if you often drive, right if you're often the passenger... It's absolutely true...no joke!

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

---Been there, done that....

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

---And if you have glasses, they will instantly fog up too...

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end
up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
ah, what a place to call home.

We in Houston can definitely relate to you Gazrok. It's the sweating that really gets to me. I go out on the balcony to smoke a cigarette at 9:00 pm and I immediately start dripping. I'm outside for ten minutes and I come back in looking like I just ran wind sprints.

Peace