Translate this Russian shirt?

My friend went to Russia this summer and brought us all CCCP goods. He got this shirt for himself but is afraid of what it might say, haha. I can get a better picture if it's needed, but I really didn't want him to take his shirt off.

This be the picture.

So, the question is not can anyone read it, it's who will tell me the truth about what it says.

Thanks a bunch.

[edit on 11-8-2005 by SmileyMan34]

It starts off by saying:

"Here, hold my vodka and beer while I kiss your girlfriend"

Ummmm ...

The rest is sort of graphic. something about a Siberian bikini wax and a nude female midget rugby team as well.

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Ok, I'll be honest. I made all that up. I can't read any of it. Sorry.

Your friend shouldn't worry too much. It's the Soviet National Anthem. You can read what it says here.

Alright, nice, thanks. Hm, I wonder I should tell him the first "translation" instead ... yep, those crazy Russian midget rugby teams...