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The English Language go Figure!

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posted on Aug, 8 2005 @ 01:07 PM
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Probably created by the male species... (just a shot since there was a thread made about dumb blondes)



THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE GO FIGURE
A farm can produce produce.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
I did not object to the object.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
They were too close to the door to close it.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
The dove dove into the bushes.



NEWSPAPER HEADLINES



1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
11. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
13. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
17. War Dims Hope for Peace
18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
20. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
21. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
22. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
23. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
24. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
25. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead



World's Thinnest Books

18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson
17. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION
16. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
15. HUMAN RIGHTS ADVANCES IN CHINA
14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
13. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
10. CAREER OPPORTUNITIES FOR LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS
9. DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB
8. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
7. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
6. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
5. FRENCH HOSPITALITY
4. GEORGE FOREMAN'S BIG BOOK OF BABY NAMES
3. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
2. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
1. THE BOOK OF VIRTUES - by Bill Clinton




posted on Aug, 8 2005 @ 09:05 PM
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lol

Those are really great!

I really enjoyed


3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers


I thought that was a great one!



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