posted on Aug, 7 2005 @ 07:43 AM
A law has recently been placed on the Statute Book in the UK forbidding comedians or comediens from telling jokes about race, religion and
I think it's pure BS because if you can't make a joke about adversity - what else can we laugh about?
So to thumb my nose as the Poliyically Correct crowd, here's a couple of jokes.
"Mujibar was trying to get into Britain legally through Immigration. The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless
you pass it you cannot enter Britain."
Mujibar said, "I am ready." The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready." The Officer said, "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green,
green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now works at a call centre near you.
Or how about this?
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping
through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now" "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He's a martyr now
though" mum confides. "Oh, dear, so sad" says the other.
"This is my second son, Kalid. He's 21" "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born". "He's a
martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh gracious me ..." says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18", she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he
started school". "He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second muslim mother looks wistfully
at the photographs and says...
"They blow up so fast, don't they ?
Not to your taste? What about these?
Weight Watchers Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a
chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the thing in the first place, you fat buggers.
Swimmers Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach,
then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Safe Sex Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
X Files Fan Recreate the effect of being abducted by aliens by
drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.
Lady's DIY An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
Vegetarians 1 Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu,
Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.
Vegetarians 2 Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell
them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.
Smoking Don't throw away those filters from the end of your
cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to
insulate your roof.
Last One............................................... for now
Cycling to work Motorists. Enjoy the freedom of cycling by removing your windscreen, sticking half a melon skin on your head, then jumping red
lights and driving the wrong way up one way streets.
[edit on 7-8-2005 by fritz]