Youre right, MA, its a distorted self image. I always get told my weight is fine, nothing to worry about, ect, yet when I percieve myself, i percieve
myself as overweight and out of shape, thus, binge and purge, binge on the happy foods because im depressed, the wig out and puke em out. Thankfully,
I only do this occasionally now, as opposed to every day in my adolecnece.
Ive seen alot of women do the same thing, obseessed with body weight that they cant see how good they look. if they aint centerfolds, the freak out.
they see centerfolds and hot chicks, then the see themselves and in thier minds, they add 100 pounds to thier weight and believe they are in need of
Jenny craig. Self perception is the most horrifying thing to defeat when twisted, because people can tell you youre fine all you want, but in your
eyes and your perception, youre a fat blob. Food becomes your enemy, and in Arcs case, you either deprive yourself of it, or in my case, gorge
yourself on it, then eliminate it unnaturally.
When ones view and opinion of self is highly twisted and deeply ingrained, in can be harder to combat that drug addiction, because most peoples truth
is based on thier own percpetion.
A twisted cycle, a vicious one, and a potentially fatal one, as Karen Carpenter found out, sadly.
Men seem to have more self esteem, or at least hide thier low esteem better, because I have seen them shamelessly attempt things that women with no
esteem would not even dream of. Ive seen literally fat, unwashed, greasy beasts of males hitting on hot hooters girls shamelessly, minus alcohol, of
course, and actually be surprised when a female turns them down viciously. Is it that males are more agressive, or do they base thier self opinion on
things other than looks?