Is this normal or is our relationship slowly dying?

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posted on Jul, 28 2005 @ 01:16 AM
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Okay, so lately I've been having the problem with my current boyfriend that we have nothing to talk about anymore. Though our relationship is relatively new (we've only been together for just over 3 months), it seems we've lost the newness and mystery of getting to know each other.

I'm not used to having this problem-- I generally tend to quickly get bored of being tied down to one guy, and my relationships usually only last a couple of months, tops. So before the newness even has a chance to wear off, I've already dumped the guy.

Now don't get me wrong-- This one's different- He's not going anywhere. I actually LIKE this guy and care about whether we stay together. Usually by three months I become antsy and want to get out, but I haven't felt the need to date around at all. I enjoy being with him and I don't want to be with anyone else, but it's almost like we've become the old boring couple.

We're not exactly boring... In person, things are MORE than interesting-- but that's only because there are things you can do in person that you just can't take care of otherwise. When we're on the phone, or conversations last only until the five minutes of "So how was your day?" is over. And it's not that we already know everything about each other- I didn't even know his favorite color until yesterday...

I don't know what to do, but I know I don't want to lose him on account of our relationship being a total bore. Am I the reason our relationship is boring? What can I do to fix this???




posted on Jul, 28 2005 @ 06:53 AM
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You kind of remind me of myself when i was around 22. I dont think its your fault that you feel bored... but if you guys enjoy beeing together in person, than maybe you shoudlnt worry so much about how short the phone conversations last ..?

YOu could make a list of the things you would like to know about him and ask him? but if you think thats too forcefull than just try to trelax and enjoy the ryde and the conversations will happen...



posted on Jul, 28 2005 @ 10:49 PM
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due to the way youve behaved in past and what u expect NOW, id say dont get so serious with him, just lighten up with him ok?



posted on Jul, 28 2005 @ 11:48 PM
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Ah, I disagree... I want this to be serious, and it has already become serious... My past relationships are very much different... I am very much different now...



posted on Jul, 29 2005 @ 01:12 AM
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How about visting a place you and your boyfriend have never been to before?
When you are at the place or at home discuss aspects you and your partner liked/disliked.
Take a overseas hoilday or a weekend away somewhere romantic.



posted on Jul, 29 2005 @ 01:31 AM
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3 months is but a blink.

It sounds like you like this guy and want to stick with him. I don't see the problem. If you feel that there is nothing left to talk to each other about, then it is time to make new memories.


it seems we've lost the newness and mystery of getting to know each other.


This is a non-issue in relationships. Couples who have been together for years have this too, and they are fine. There is far more to a relationship than 'newness'.

If you feel like maybe he isn't talking enough, that is no big deal. You can talk and he can listen


Seriously, things are fine. You like him he likes you. Your relationship is not slowly dying.



posted on Jul, 29 2005 @ 07:55 PM
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Sometimes the best way to say something is to not say anything at all. Body language, the eyes, touching/teasing, playing games, etc. Things that keep the mind busy and not the tongue...if you know what I mean.

I believe in the Zodiac Signs. What two signs are we looking at here?



posted on Jul, 30 2005 @ 12:42 PM
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He's a Pices and I'm a Saggitarius; but the both of us believe that all that is crap... But give it your best shot...



posted on Jul, 30 2005 @ 03:58 PM
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This happened to my girlfriend and I. We just ran out of things to say. Just stick with it, give it a very good effort, and do what xpert said. Try something new, something different. It doesn't have to be as extreme as he said, it could be trying a new restaurant, or go to the Zoo or a theme park instead of yet another movie. Something like that, something to get things going again, so you have to have something to talk about.



posted on Jul, 30 2005 @ 05:20 PM
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lol sounds alot like me also a few years back,

Really you need to go out places. see differnet things together,

Go to a concert, do something you both enjoy.

If you really want this to last then you had both better get a move on,

Also sounds odd but talk about it with him, Im sure if you feel this way so does he,

Ask how you both could work to make things a little better.

after all its a 2 way thing, So get talking



posted on Aug, 10 2005 @ 02:11 AM
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I know others have said this, but to add to it,

Do things you wouldnt normally do, mix it up a little bit. You are still learning about each other, its just that the easy questions (name, job etc) have been answered, so you just have to be a little more creative.

---Pineapple



posted on Aug, 29 2005 @ 05:59 PM
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I wonder how you made it this long, if you don't feel it is ok make a pause, leave the guy.
These other things like travelling to unknown galaxy will make everything even worse, thereare a lot of other people on Earth.
I know how it is when realtionship is dying and when it once is on its way, more you wait worse it'll be.



posted on Aug, 29 2005 @ 07:20 PM
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Well,....it just seems to me that you guys are prob not that compatible...


I mean dont you want to be with someone that you just can't get enough of...that you never run out of things to say with...and if you do, it just feels right, as you sit there in a comfortable silence...

If it is like this....at 3 months only.,...Personally I don't really see much of an exciting future for you guys....All the suggestions that the others have made are the types of things you tell couples that have been together for literally YEARS....

Als....Don't plonk yourself in a relationship...JUSt because you want to be in one....This is not a good reason....

Ask yourself why???? you want to be with this particular person....

If there are no Sparks....is is JUSt because you don't want to be alone....Be honest with yourself here



posted on Aug, 29 2005 @ 07:38 PM
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Originally posted by Alcor
Am I the reason our relationship is boring?


Not exactly. But the movies you watch and magazines you read probably aren't helping. (I'm guessing.)

I read your post as follows:

Help! I'm in a comfortable relationship!

Granted, the plot sucks. But that's a successful relationship. You don't exchange non-stop witty repartee like Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy (who by the way were miserable people) do for 2 hours in a movie for the rest of your life. It's fine to have nothing to say. It's freaking GREAT to have nothing to say. It's okay to even not want to have sex or or be in each others business every 5 minutes. This makes you a normal, fully functioning adult.


What can I do to fix this???


Enjoy it. Stop trying to fix it. You'll ruin everything.






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