can someone call you?

I'd appreciate any input into something thats been happening to me for a few years. I thought I understood what was happening but after trying to do something about it I'm unsure now.

I started having reaccuring dreams about a former lover of mine 2 years ago. In waking life we have had no contact for about 6 years now and our 'relationship' ended with a sudden and violent argument. The quotes are because although we dated and lived together and that proper relationship ended 9 years ago, we kept getting close afterwards.

The relationship had some psychic elements - we not only looked very similar (to the point where people often thought I was his sister) but we were also convinced we had met in previous lives and would continue to do so. My partner was prone to premonition in his dreams and we tried to meditate together one day and had a shared vision of a former life. However after we split up my partner tried a form of psychic abuse - saying that if I went with anyone he would know, if I spoke ill of him he would know. He also pulled this trick on a mutual friend of ours - saying that if my friend spoke to me about him, he would know. This caused my friend a lot of stress for a few years until eventually I was able to persuade them to open up. My ex was very charismatic, dominating and as I now start to wonder, slightly psychotic. He is not someone who it would be a good idea for me to meet up with again, but who after all the 'we met before' stuff, I do occasionally think about and wonder 'what next'

The dreams are not threatening or unpleasant. The first one was set in a supermarket and I could see him from behind but not his face. I got the impression he knew I was nearby but we did not speak

*brief moment of shock as spider 5 inches long runs across desk*

The dreams slowly progressed each time so that we did begin to talk, just friendly conversation about what we had done since we last met. Nothing sexual or hugely romantic. I always wake feeling strange and it takes me a few days to get the dream out of my head.

When they started I did wonder if I was being called by my ex. That consciously or otherwise he was thinking about me, or in a dark place and needed me to help him. I did write to him 6 months ago but he has either moved house or chose not to answer.

Is this experience common and do you think I am perhaps reading too much into it? Should I try harder to find my ex or instead take whatever measures will work to prevent the dreams?

Just to add, i've had the same problems and the same questions.
disturbing huh arc?

To dream of a boyfriend, weather present or former, connects with the feelings, attachments and sexuality connected with him, To dream of having as a boyfriend some whom you would not anticipate, indicates that need to have a greater understanding of the way the dreamer relates to you, consideration may need to be giving to the loving nurturing side of masculinity, you are still searching for the ideal lover.

[Edited on 24-8-2003 by The Blade Runner]

Fury thats odd, but I'm glad I'm not alone. Can I ask was it just the dreaming thats similar or all the other weirdness too? U2U me if you don't want to post personal stuff.

Blade Runner you might be right, and when single I have dreamt about exes, or combinations of men I know and have known. But never in this manner and for so long. This partner was not good for me, the one I have now is the best thing for me in a long time.

*brief moment of shock as spider 5 inches long runs across desk*

..............LMAO!!!!!!! Did ya get it? I'd be out of there so fast~
Ok - back to the real stuff here. If he does have the ability, yes, he can plant ideas and seeds. But if you have written him and he didn't respond I don't think that's the case. As far as if he got your letter? If they can't forward a letter they send it back. If you want to be certain you can sen a leter certified - he has to sign for it and you get a confirmation when he does, or you get your letter back with reason it couldn't be delievered.
It may be that you are thinking of him. And if you don't think it's a good idea (rationaly) that I'd suggest staying clear of him and giving this as little thought as possible. As you are already aware - once the heart gets involved rational thinking goes out the window.

hehehe no it scooted up the wall and then fell off. I think its still under the desk.... actually I quite like spiders, it just startled me.

back to the letter - I never put my own address on it, just gave him an email address and my mobile number. Did this mainly for safety reasons as I didn't want him knowing where I lived and just turning up oneday. I also put a note saying that if he didn't wish to reply I'd leave it at that, so I'm now unable to send another letter just incase he did get the first.

Its very easy for me to stay clear of him - we live on opposite sides of the city and in 6 years I've never passed him on the street or seen him anywhere.

If he isn't calling me, do you know how I can make these dreams stop? I only tend to start thinking about him when I have a dream and it leaves me quite unnerved for some time afterwards. It would actually be easier if the dreams were bad and we were fighting.

hehehe no it scooted up the wall and then fell off. I think its still under the desk....

.....Hate it when that happens. I had to barrow my hubby's truck the other day because there was one somewhere in my truck. I can pick up a snake, not a problem, but a spider???? The nieghbors will here me!

I also put a note saying that if he didn't wish to reply I'd leave it at that, so I'm now unable to send another letter just incase he did get the first.

.....I really think if he got the first he would have responded. Don't you? And if he was trying to contact you I definately would think he would have gotten in touch with you. So my guess is that he did not get the letter.

If he isn't calling me, do you know how I can make these dreams stop?

......I wish it was so eazy. But the only way is to figure out what exactly it is about him or the both of you together that is still bothering you and get to the bottom of it - resovle the issue. I'm thinking you still care about him - even if you don't want to.

I also have strange dreams, visions, and some of my associates and myself agree that we all just live our one life, die and come back as ourselves. No real point except that often humana are disturbed by thoughts or concepts, or even experiences they do not understand. In the end, all in all a person is whomever they think they are and words are just.....words. I just felt like threading cause life is so simple let go, enjoy imagination, perception, and have faith in yourself in that which you believe. No one else can truly tell one what they are really wanting to hear anyway: someone else to support or confirm their topics, ideas, etc. That is what we all do here on ATS. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. Words....all of them. What a primitive form of communication. No offense to anyone at all I just had to say it because I gave up on fear long ago. If it feels wrong it is, if it feels right it is.

Inevitably only you can decide what these things you mention mean, as they are your experiences, no one elses and regardless of ANY thing said or discussed a person always has to decide for themselves in the end what they settle on as per opinion. Just a master of the obvious but somebody has to remind the masses, lol, Peace!

Actually what happened to you sounds alot like what happened to me.
Not long before my boyfreind and I broke up actually WE had started experementing with astral travel, talking to spirits ect.
These were some of my first experiences with it, he had been using astral travel for a couple of years. He was also rather tempermental, though I never really felt endangered by him.
About a year after we broke up the dreams started, nothing really special, usually just walking together, somtimes in a mall, sometimes by a river ect, as time went on the dreams became more frequent.
In the last dream we got into an argument, I told him it was enough, I didnt want to hear from him anymore, this was during a concert.
I havnt had another dream about him since.

It might have been my subconcious missing him, and thats why i dreamed about him, it may have been subconcious visits with each other, but telling him to go away worked.