posted on Jul, 24 2005 @ 11:41 AM
So I'm having this situation with my mother, which has been an ongoing problem for a couple of years now, and pretty much affects everything I do.
She and I are usually quite hostile to each other about it, and, though we're friendly to each other sometimes, usually for show, most of the time is
spent arguing and battling... Mostly the problem lies in that we have two entirely different views on everything, and that I tend to think more like
my father, who left my mother four years ago for another woman. Though I'm not proud of what my father did, previous to his adultery years, he was a
very good man and great thinker- Terribly intelligent, and I am mostly proud to be told I have the intelligence of my father or I think like he does.
However, my mother sees my father in me and that angers her. My younger sister is exactly like my mother, and is willing to kiss up for anything she
wants. My mother seldom disobliges. That is why she has come to be known throughout my friends and such as "princess." The reason this came to be
was because as a child, my father was really bad about playing favorites, and I was the one who lucked out on being the favorite. My sister,
therefore, was thrown to my mother by default, and my mother felt that someone had to do the same for her as was being done for me. When my father
left us, my "favoritism dealer" was gone, but my mother was still around to do that for my sister. In my house, which includes my mother, my
sister, myself, and usually my mother's boyfriend, it tends to become the three of them... and then me... I usually become the other child who lives
across the house. I have tried everything I know how to explain to my mother the situation, but whether or not it is in writing, a polite
proposition, everything up until a full-blown arguement, nothing will get through to her. Anytime I tell her what a problem is, she automatically
turns it around and pegs it on me as my fault. I can't seem to make her understand where I'm coming from- Usually after I say something I get the
ever-so-popular "Katie, that's BS" or "You know that's not true." I was wondering if anyone possibly had any new, and hopefully more effective,
ways of dealing with the problem. It's come to the point where it affects not just me, but the people around me as well. So if anyone has any
ideas, they would be much appreciated. However, if the idea is anything along the lines of: Talk to her nicely, write her a letter, run away from
home, do something drastic to show her how it's affecting you, etc etc; is not really an option, because I've either tried it, or I have no means of
doing such, or my extraordinarily level-headed boyfriend will not let me do something incredibly stupid... I know most of this sounds uber juvenile,
but it's become something far beyond "My mommy punished me." It is in no way physically violent or abusive, but it is however emotionally
straining. Any suggestions??? Thanks.