First of all I am new, and I am sure there are hundreds of threads like this, but i believe my story is kinda different. I also found many common
stuff from other people's posts (like "sounds like a Demon" or "Shadow people").
I am going to seperate the story in 2 parts.
(A) paranormal stuff - REMOVED
(B) Seeing a Demon...
REMOVED! (by Reinheart )
B: Seeing a Demon ???
Okay, this thing happened last year, and this is how it begun...
It was a warm summer night, and as usual i was listening to music (Black Metal), and watching TV. Anyway I felt sleepy and went to bed. I woke up
because of a weird sound, like a Growling... I thought, "Woah! I had enough of Black metal for today
" and tried to fall asleep again...
And while i was trying to close my eyes again, I Hear the same GROWLING, only this time louder... I am like "WTF ??" and without even thinking
it, turn around to see what was it. I can't remember what exactly i saw, because i already got under the covers (I was covered with a sheet), and
just looked for a lil bit... But I think it was a white like cloud, moving into darkness.
I could be a dream right ? Yes it could be... Right now I see it as a Dream... I didnot see anything evil, I just thought i saw something... And the
sound... it could be many things... a motorbike moving with 90 k/h could make such a growl as well...
but what followed Wasnot and it will never be!!!
After that experience I was trying to locate info on Demons, and such.. Look for people who had the same experiences with me. I never told anyone
about my experiences, except some fora, while looking for answers... I downloaded stuff like Goetia, Book of Enoch, and various stuff, from books
about Induism, to Kabalistic #.
From all this search I have to say this
"Never get into Apokrifism, or study other religions and Dogmas before you have complete faith and aknowledgement of yours (religion and dogmas)"
Because your view will soon be distorted, and you 'll end up heretic.
i know I know you are asking... What about the Possession ?
Here it is...
Back then I was an ATHEIST, thus I got more into Apokrifism, and I kept listening to that kind of music (and i still do). After some time, I started
a stanic Black M band, i donot remember what for. Thus it wasnot because i had the dream of becoming famous. As time passed, I begun to get more and
more into that stuff, and the music as well... Most people used to see me as a nice, blonde kid, who plays the keyboards, and growls as a demon
Thus, i got more into it and more.... I felt the need to turn every cross i see upside down. Step or spit each picture of saints i would see, scratch
them till the image fades, or throw trash at the yard of churches. Once I carved a reversed pentacle on my left hand. If you opened my books etc,
you would see only 3 stuff.. Prayers to Satan, Pentacles and "666", and upside down crosses...
And all of these, in a christian-student's books. Ironic eh ?
But it got worse... I started asking my self stuff... "HE never heared you, when you prayed to him, but i am here right now for you". I had no
#ing clue why i asked this to myself... It was no inner voice, or paranoia... it was just a thought... Then I said (within me). "Okay if you think
you can help, then make her not to move, but stay here". And the voice said "If you trust me, then I trust you". Next day nothing, the person I
asked the "voice" was still going to move... But a couple of days later, the person wouldnot move... I was looking over the internet about people
who had experiences like these... And funny thing.... I saw something like this "Satan, won't fullfill your wished right away... Some time will pass
by, till you totally trust him".
I was stunned! So that was the "If you trust me then I trust you" #.... And I thought it was ME, saying, that I need to have confidence in
Anyway some other things happened, I was reffering to sky as hell, etc, felt no remorse, stopped drawing pentacles etc, and started drawing Demon
Sigils... I even tried to make a pact with the devil. No matter how stupid that might sound. I never believed in that # anyway, why did i do it ? I
remember when i was alone, i would just growl and say various stuff, without thinking about what i was saying... Most time blasphemous stuff... Most
time stuff focused on 3 names "Astarte, Aimonia, Asmontaee" obviously reffering to Astaroth, king of hades Amaymon, and Asmodeus.
Time passed and the rage in me grew bigger and bigger... All my dreams were about Hell, and demons! I even had a visions of Astaroth. The Demon
appeared in a form of a woman, with the most beautifull bue eyes i have ever seen. Blonde hair, soo beautifull that i cannot describe. And she was
emiting light... a 2 color light... white and yellow... It was one of the most beautifull things i have ever seen. But it kept less than 1 second...
Anyway with time, the person in me begun to question things, and asked me if i needed anything else... I would ask for revenge, and the person
would be rushed to the hospital with something unspeakable (Any of you seen a normal, illness which should last for 2 days, last a month ????? )
I also asked him, if he was going to come to earth, he said, that there is no point... he is everywhere. And i asked him if he was going to come with
physical form, and he said no, it would be a disgrace for him, to appear in a form that needs to feed, to survive. In a form that would eventually
I asked him for (un)divine inspiration, and that night, i wrotte my best song. He also told me that a pentacle, scared a little kid, and that i
would need to come up with a better theme. And so did I.
I was feeling so powerfull back then... more things happened that i desire not to talk about them... mainly some stuff that i am not really proud
Now how did it end ?
Well... I was caught by the police... (i don't want to talk about it). And I was forced, to go to the church... 2 times per week!
And aftet some time, I was eventually freed.
I no longer, feel anyone speaking, I no longer desire, to break crosses, etc. I even don't like it when my friends do the Il Cornuto \m/ . I no
longer draw pentacles etc... I am still in a Black M band, thus we restricted the 'evil' part, and my music preferences is the only thing that is
left since that time..
The funny thing is that when it all ended i tried desperately, to find more stuff about Apokrifism, and invocations with the hope that i will feel
like that again... powerfull. But I guess it's better this way. I am a christian and I am proud. I still dress in total black, and yeah I still
like corpsepaint horror and such.
Only this time, I am 100% about my faith, and I know that my faith won't be contaminated with other elements, or questioned, no matter how much I
study the paranormal, etc etc..
I still don't know if any of these was real. All I know is that I am not at all proud about myself back then.
[edit on 16-7-2005 by Reinheart]