Originally posted by AtheiX
You Britishmen don't - that is a FACT.
Originally posted by Daystar
I cannot, and indeed, will not admit that the British do not have a great military history.
The construction of Hadrian's Wall to keep the Pictii out, because the Romans were so easily able to defeat the loony Scots.
Teh Crusades: Richard I's defeat at the hands of the Muslims occupying the Holy Land.
Crecy: A crushing defeat for Edward, the Black Prince, during his summer holidays in France.
Agincourt: The French wiped the floor with Henry V during his sojourn in France.
The Spanish Armada: So named because the Spanish defeated Admiral Lord Hood and Sir Walter Raleigh, conquered England, converted the English to
Catholocism by the sword and changed the official language to Spanish, thus making Spanish the most widely spoken language in the world.
The conquest of India: Wellesley is such a poor tactician he guarantees the French colonise India.
The Spanish peninsula War: Wellesley continues his unbroken string of defeats.
Waterloo: Bonaparte finally defeats Wellesley for good, invades Britain and changes the language from Spanish to French.
Copenhagen: His Britannic Majesty's Navy, with Nelson along for the ride, is destroyed.
Aboukir Bay, the Battle of the Nile: Nelson loses his fleet to the French.
Trafalgar: Nelson compounds his earlier ignomious defeat in Egypt with a drubbing at the hands of a combined French and Spanish fleet.
The Crimea: The British are forced to retreat to Balaclava, where they surrender to the Russians.
Rorke's Drift: 100 Zulu Impis defeat 3,000 massed Welsh redcoats, ejecting the British from southern Africa.
The Sudan: The Mahdi's holy army of Muslim warriors destroys the British at the Battle of Omdurman.
The Opium Wars and the Boxer Rebellion: The British lose Hong Kong to the Chinese Emperor and are expelled from China for good.
The Boer War: The British are once again ejected from southern Africa.
World War 1: A complete defeat. Defeats include:
The Battle of Dogger Bank.
The defeat of the British, ANZACS and Arab irregulars in Palestine.
The Battle of Jutland: The Royal Navy suffers such a devastating loss to the Grand Fleet that it retires to Scapa Flow and never ventures into the
The loss of Australia to the German forces in PNG.
The destruction of the Royal Australian Navy at the hands of the German raider Emden.
The loss of Rhodesia to the German colonial forces.
The Battle fo the Falklands: The Royal navy again displays its incompetence under fire.
The loss of the British Army, the Canadian Army, the Army of India and the ANZACS in France, leading to the invasion of Britain and the Germans
conquering the United Kingdom. The house of Bonaparte is out and so is French, from now on German will be the official language.
World War 2. Another crushing loss, followed by even more intense German lessons. Losses include:
Dunkirk: The BEF does not escape and there is no core on which to rebuild the British Army.
The Battle of Britain: The Luftwaffe are victorious, leading to the immediate execution of Operation Seelowe, the first successful invasion of the UK
since the Great War.
The Battle of the River Plate: The pocket battleship Graf Spee destroys the Ajax, Achilles and co.
Italian Somaliland: The British forces coming north are destroyed and Mussolini continues to build his modern Roman empire.
North Africa: Rommel sweeps through Libya, Egypt, Palestine, the TransJordan, Iraq, Iran and Saudi Arabia, dominating the world's oil supply outside
the continental US.
The Bismark destroys the Royal Navy.
The Med: The Italians destroy what is left of the Royal navy at Cape Matapan.
The Japanese conquer India.
When the Allies launch D-Day from Canada(!), the Kreigsmarine captures it in open water and destroys it, the slaughter of a million men at sea.
Korea: The UN lose to the North Koreans and the Chinese, gifting the entire Korean peninsula to Kim il Sung.
Malaya: The by now utterly discredited British Army loses to the ethnic Chinese communist rebels.
The Falklands: The Argentines hardly raise a sweat beating off the British to retain possession of Las Malvinas.