posted on Jul, 9 2005 @ 11:02 AM
Ok, very recently, (just got home yesterday) as some of you know I took a vacation in Brazil for 2 weeks. I have this friend who was an exchange
student for a year at my school senior year, we became really good friends, and he invited me to go back with him at the end of the year. I accepted,
and we went. I was looking forward to this trip for most of the school year. I had a really great time there. But now that I'm home, something
feels off. I can't really explain it. I mean after two weeks there, I was kind of feeling ready to come home, even though I'd miss my friend.
When I thought of seeing my house and family again, I'd get excited and stuff and couldn't wait to see everything again. I even got pretty homesick
in Brazil the first day. But now I don't feel happy. The feeling's hard to explain. It kind of feels like an "It's all over" type of feeling,
like there's nothing left to look forward to. And the stuff I have to look forward to (getting another job, going to school) makes me feel worse.
Kind of like something's missing I guess, but then again it's hard to explain. Is it depression? That wouldn't make much sense. But I know in
those stupid zoloft commercials they say that you no longer enjoy things that you once enjoyed. Everything feels kinda dull. And it's not just that
I miss my friend either. I mean sure, that's a part of it. Obviously if you know that there's a good possibility that you'll never see one of
your best friends again, it's gonna be sad. But there's more to it. Maybe it's just that I had this to look forward to for soooooo long, and now
that there's nothing more to look forward to I just feel weird. But I think the strangest part is how excited I would feel about being home again,
and now that I'm here I don't feel like that at all. Argh, this sucks! Advice would probably be appreciated.