posted on Jul, 9 2005 @ 12:44 AM
NOTE: I originally sent this as a private message to a friend on another BB. With his anonymity assured, I am posting this here since it pretty
much spells out my view of romance in general -- what I tell other men in private when no else is listening -- which, upon reflection, I would like to
share with my fellow ATSers.
Well, okay. You asked for it. I'm not sure if I'm one to be giving advice like this, but this is my take on things based on what I've seen and done
in my short life.
I'll summarize what comes off the top of my head here:
1. Don't be serious. If she's laughing, you're happy.
2. Never lie to a woman. Ever. They have powers.
3. Argue with a woman, but choose your battles. Normally, it is best to let them win, because women tend to be much smarter than men.
4. Don't be shy, but be cool. If you see a woman you find attractive, find out more. Sometimes just saying “hi” is all it takes, because she
might feel the same way. Other times, it's best to ask and find out information quietly and subtly -- but don't be a stalker.
5. Be respectful. Women are cute, but don't let their good looks fool you. They are perhaps a different species, but they are still our fellow human
beings. Treat every female friend at least as well as you treat male friends, and preferably better, because that's extremely important. Mutual
respect is essential for romance, and it cannot survive without it.
6. Never propose romance. That is a woman's job. Don't push her. When she's ready, you'll know.
7. Never stop romance. Once a romantic relationship begins, it is the man's responsibility to keep things romantic. If you're not thinking of her
every three seconds, then something's wrong. Meanwhile, if you are thinking of her every three seconds, then you can remember to do little
things like buy her flowers or her favorite candy, or just give her a hug and a kiss. Never let her feel neglected. Let her know you can't stop
thinking about her. Show it. Often.
8. Bend like a reed. Men and women are designed by God to piss each other off. Cut her all the slack you can, because brother, I assure you she's
doing the same for you whether you know it or not. Don't be a doormat -- that's a very bad sign -- but be reasonable, even when emotion dictates
otherwise, and you will never regret it.
9. Live in the now. Pay attention to what is happening right now in a romantic relationship. The past is gone and the future doesn't yet
exist. If you focus on what's happening now, and leave the future to later, you are truly enjoying romance.
So, where do you find a woman? Everywhere. My friend, the good news is that there are more women in this world than men. Use this knowledge to
You need not be “on the make” when girl-hunting, but it's wise to keep an open mind, and keep an eye out for hidden beauty in our mad, mad
What makes romance so much fun is that it is so utterly unpredictable. You never know when it will strike, you never know when it will abandon you,
and you never really know if that's what it really was in the first place.
Such is the mystery of romance.
I could say more, but I think you already know the game.
P.S. Not a licensed therapist.