posted on Jul, 9 2005 @ 08:42 AM
Or should I say the quick & coming clean. I have it written out but it takes a few pages so I'll go over the highlights....
I was an off and on sunday school attender as a kid. Church was boring and was sick of the repetativeness, preferring cartoons or games most morning.
So I guess I resented church if I had any feelings about it at all. Years later I got a curiousity for mythology, satanism, wicca, and so forth. I
had friends in a lot of the different branches, including one of my better friends at the time who later told me he was satanic. There are some
interesting stories on him itself. Anyway I'm sitting there pondering "when die, I cease to exist" which wasn't new but this time it was
different. I'd planned my suicide a few times using multiple methods so that it couldn't possibly fail. I did not want to survive it. My head was
reeling with this idea of ceasing to exist and became very angry. I did something very stupid. I challenged anything that existed whether it was
Zeus, God, Satan whomever to show itself and I would believe.
Well out of the three one showed up in what can best be described as a waking-dream saying "if all you need is to see to believe, then here I am. Bow
down and worship me!". Again, more to the story, just running through it for the sake of time and space. Funny thing about meeting the devil, you
never have to ask who he is, what he wants, or he got there. The two successive ones followed suit with this message yet were in different form and
forum. I blamed myself for whatever reason for having these: my imagination, self-programming, maybe that I was touch off the charts on the EEG.
Anyhow, after the 3rd, I decided not to sleep again. Dumb idea #2.
Bible background. I could not read the Book without my eyes jumping all over the page, burning and itching. Often I'd get upset and slam or throw
the Bible because it was ticking me off. About day 7 without sleep, I went to a pastor for help. Apparently when you're without sleep for so long,
you tend to get a bit 'drunk' from lack of sleep. I did not know this since I'd never been drunk before. My friends would tell me I did stuff I
couldn't remember such as swearing at teachers and beating the snot out of my locker. So, around night 8ish rolls around and I'm laying there in
bed doing my best not to sleep. Sweating, in fear, waiting for a return visit. It was painful, I needed sleep. So I did as the pastor said, though
I thought he was a nut at the time. I was desparate, needed help and would do just about anything to be rid of the damned creature. As instructed, I
prayed to God, asked for forgiveness, and accepted Jesus Christ as teacher and saviour. BAM! Tears running down my faith, there was a filling up of
something (I didn't know about the Holy Spirit at the time) very strong and comforting, and a total release/relaxation of the body. I slept like a
brick, and it was good.
The next night I had my final confrontation with Satan. He noticed a change and was quite pissed off about it. After a series of attacks and a
defection of a blue-ish half-dome shield when he tried to strike, I said something to the effect of, "There's nothing you can do to me now, I'm
under God's protection". Again enraged, he disappeared. That morning I awoke more refreshed than ever.
But wait! There's more. It didn't end as a one-timer event. I bumped into the devil a few more times, married someone who used to practice dark
arts, and still have various interactions with God today. There was a 'sleeper' period that was totally my doing where I tucked the book away.
Long story there too.
Well, that's the short version. I normally don't like to post testimony on ATS/BTS because I tire easily of people saying "you're a nut", "it
was sleep paralysis", or "you had a psychotic episode". They're all bull. Sorry, but I know better.
Thanks JJ for starting this thread, I enjoy reading what you and Jehosephat had to say and look forward to more.
Pray, train, study,