Wolf’s Pray

Luna, will they ever leave us alone Chris thought. He was testing the summer air, the scent of a non-Lycan came to his sensitive nostrils. The scent traveled fast in the light moonlit air. Chris preferred to hunt at night. The game was more plentiful, it provided the wanted meat and the needed blood. This happened from time to time, humans, with the odd desire to intrude on the solitude that the Lycans had developed, far from civilization, for their sport, due to fear. Chris thought of his given name, Christian, a noble name at the time, it mocked him now. Christians have been hunting his kind since, well, forever it seemed.

He had had a good night, the rabbits were running and Chris had his fill, both meat and blood. Always removing the brain so that the change would not fall on his prey. This human was a noisy one, easily avoided as well, Chris suspected. He was at least a half an hour away. Time enough to digest his meal. Chris thought back to the time that he was “initiated”, a mistake by a young Lycan. Older than Chris to be sure but barely a cub in the den. Chris was taken in his 19th year, he was 4 decades older now but looked the same. Lean, tall, close cropped, even in wolf form. A sharp contrast to Frank the den leader. Short, stocky, long of mane and as wise as he was ferocious. Frank was over 200 years of age, taken about the time of the Revolution. He had taken a shine to Chris when the pack thought it was not time to admit that the pack needed to grow.

Franks will was not to be overturned easily. It was the time of the cartoons. I was a Teenage Werewolf was the best for a laugh. Always portrayed as scavengers and murderers. Yes there was some that crept into society for this purpose but the majority wanted nothing to do with the humans, let them lead their lives, co-exist by staying away. A lesson learned from much trial and error. There would be no co-existence, the humans fear would not allow it. Frank was right, the pack needed to grow.

Sniff, sniff. Something different but still 10 minutes away. Chris would have to move soon. He reflected on his Lycan name, “Cheetah”, he was fast. No other Lycan could keep up with him. He wondered if he could actually bring down a cheetah? That would be an accomplishment. To be the fastest moving mammal on the planet. A smile emerged on Chris’ face as he thought of that...

.. something was not right here. He could still smell the human but he couldn’t hear him. Another smell as well, that he knew well but why now? A half brother. Wolves and Lycans lived together in peace, unlike the shaky existence that Lycans have with humans. Strange mixture.

Chris lowered himself from the lower branches of the tree, human in appearance and started after the human. The trees hung low in the humidity, he swiped the branches aside as he progressed towards his prey? He really didn’t want anything to do with humans anymore but this was about survival. He came to an Alder tree, tacked to it was a vest. That explains the smell Chris thought. Where was this human? He opened his nostrils and eyes but couldn’t see the intruder.

He turned his back to the bole, still searching. Out from the foliage came a fare sized wolf. Hello brother, thought Chris. The wolf just looked at him. Again, strange. This made little sense to Chris. A rustling, Oh #, ABOVE. Chris was hit hard in the shoulders, driven to the ground. He leapt up at speed and curtailed the desired to bite the human. Turning, he grappled with the human, fear was in it’s eyes. You should leave us alone thought Chris. Chris was hit yet again from behind, teeth sinking into his shoulder. The wolf, they’ve taught our brothers. Time was slim. The change came upon Chris. His elongated snout reached out and removed the nose and upper skull of the wolf. The weight left him but he was weakened and he still had a human to deal with. In this state it would take little time for Chris to be dispatched. He reached back and with the strength remaining, plunged his fist into the human, tearing away his thorax and spine. He dropped the body. Luna, why must we put up with this.

He slumped against the tree.

He needed to get home.

[edit on 6-7-2005 by intrepid]
*title edit

[edit on 7-8-2005 by worldwatcher]

[edit on 8-3-2005 by worldwatcher]

Wolf's Pray

Part 2.

“Chris, come look at this”. Ricky was crouching and picking something up. Chris smiled, his little brother had a thing for rocks. He especially liked to come to the shore for those pebbles that were wore by time and friction. He undoubtably found some little multi-coloured stone and was excited by it.

“Chris, look”

“Chris, Chris....” This wasn’t Ricky’s voice. The dream floated away and Chris opened his eyes.

“Chris”, a soft soothing voice. His vision cleared and he saw Kathleen smiling down on him. There was concern in her eyes as well. Kathleen was a Lycan that Chris believed even a human could like. She was of medium age in appearance, her light red hair starting to grey. She was the most caring person he had ever met.

“How are you doing, little Cheetah”?

Chris flexed and stretched. He had a twinge in his neck and shoulder but otherwise could find no nagging injury.

“I’m OK. How long have I been asleep”? It was apparent to him that he had made it home.

“Almost two days. Come on, Frank want to talk to you”.

They walked from the bedroom down a bright hallway. Must be day time, Chris mused..

They came to the common room and Frank was sitting in his chair. He was blood spattered and had a gash in his side almost as large as a football. This type of injury would have killed a human almost instantly. Lycans heal very quickly. Blood also drenched his long grey hair.

“JESUS CHRIST”, Chris said.

Franks eyes glowed a violent red and Chris could feel the heat of his anger from across the room.

“YOU WILL NOT UTTER THAT FALSE GOD’S NAME IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN” Frank bellowed. The walls shook.

“Sorry Chris, it hasn’t been a good night. I’ll fill you in on what has happened. What do you last remember”?

“I was attacked by a human and a wolf he had trained”. Frank nodded.

“That is what you told me when you got home the night before last. We were not sure if you had completed the chore in order for the change to not come upon them, so I went out and all I found was a dead human. I removed his brain, task completed but I could not find the wolf.”

Frank took a few deep breaths, sighed and continued.

“I feared that the wolf had survived, that fear wasn’t unfounded. Kelly, Mike, Dave and I went out last night and found the wolf. Chris, have you ever seen a Grizzly”?

Chris nodded, he had been to the zoo many years ago.

“This wolf”, Frank said “is bigger. The change with this monster has created a killing machine. Mike and Dave were torn apart. I don’t know if Kelly is going to survive, I can only hope, as she was damn near quartered. As you can see, I’m not unscathed as well.”

Chris gulped, perhaps half of the den was dead. He shuddered as he realized this was his fault for not being able to perform the chore on the beast.

“Listen to me Chris, we can’t fight this animal alone. It isn’t like a Lycan, it is massive and has no humanity in it at all. It is a wanton killing being. We need help. There is a human, he knows Lycans well, has dispatched a few foolhardy ones as well that tried to test themselves against him. He lives in Salem, his name is Branson.”

Chris had heard of this hunter. We need help from this human? Chris mused.

“Salem is over 200 miles away Frank. How am I to get there quickly, it’s a two day run.”

“You don’t have to run it all. Take the cash that Kathleen gives you and run to the highway. Catch a ride, take a bus, whatever. Too bad you don’t know how to drive, you could have stolen a car”. Frank laughed.

“When you get to Salem, check in the phone book for Branson, if he’s not listed go to this club, Iron Butterfly and ask Barry. He’ll know where he is”.

Chris’ stomach turned. He disliked Barry immensely.He was a maneater. Chris hated those that made Lycans existence more difficult. It was also the reason Frank had thrown him out of the den.

“How do you know where to find Barry? It’s a good 50 miles just to reach the highway.”

Frank smiled again, “Never underestimate your elders”.

Frank sobered, “Run swift Cheetah, earn that name. This creature was trained to hunt Lycans and now it has a taste for us as well”.

Part 3

DAMN, Luna, when will I win? Chris thought looking at the phone book. No Branson. That left only one option, he had to seek out Barry. Chris cringed at the thought. PHEOW. Chris sneezed again. How did people live like this, he thought. The smells, repugnant and VILE, like sniffing an old toilet. The noises, horns, sizzle of lights and hydro wires. The vulgarity. Chris heard many words tonight that Frank would have given a well earned smack to the head, just for uttering. He also heard some that he had never heard before, he knew they were curses by the way they were delivered. He was getting used to the air horns though, the Semi that he traveled in to get to Salem had got him used to that.

Iron Butterfly, there it was, Yellow pages. 332 Lexington Ave. Great, where the hell was that? Chris knew there was a need for speed but he was confronted at every turn.

“Excuse me”, Chris said to a couple of kids, about 14, “Can you tell me what direction Lexington Ave. is”? They had no idea that he was a Lycan.

“About 7 blocks that way” pointing, “What are you looking for”?

“The Iron Butterfly”, said Chris. The kids face didn’t change. “Cool, turn left at Lexington, you’ll find it”.


The Iron Butterfly, the sign sizzled. Chris went inside. Luna, how do these people live? The smells of outside were compacted into something that Chris could barely breath. It suited Barry Chris thought. Disgusting. Like breathing soup.

“What’ll you have”, the bartender asked.

“Water, PLEASE”, said Chris.

Chris was gulping his water when he was hit from behind, HARD. Chris spun around and swung a paw at his opponent only to have it caught and held. He swung the other hand with the same result.

“Hello, Cheetah”, it was Barry. “Thought it was you. Have you come to taste the menu”?

“You will call me Chris, if you don’t mind”.

“What do you want Chris?

“I’m looking for Branson”.

Barry leaned back and laughed, a laugh that was annoying as he was like the only one on to the joke.

“Start at the top, will you? Why should I tell you anything”, Barry said.

“Frank said tell me, or HE will come for that information”. Barry blanched..Frank hadn’t but hell, roll the dice.

“You see this road outside? Follow it east until you hit Morningside.. Go north, you’ll see it, it can’t be missed”.

Barry was right, it couldn’t be missed. A big house, not expected though, it looked like anyones residence.

Chris rang the chime.

No answer.

He rang it again.

“What do you want”?

“I need to talk to you”, Chris said.

BZZZZ, the door opened. Chris walked through. He was met by an older Human.

“Hello, Lycan, what do you want”? Branson spoke.

[edit on 11-7-2005 by intrepid]

Have I ever told you how impatient I am!?! Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!

You got a good story here, can't wait until you write the next section.

DANG!......you mean I have to wait for the rest??????

I was reading this aloud to my son and he is mad at ME for there not being anymore.......yet.....

It's cooling down here. I promise to get part 4 up tomorrow.

Sorry guys, life interupts.

Part 4:

Chris took Branson in. He towered over this man that wasn’t 6 foot tall. However he got the feeling that if he made the slightest wrong move, he would be dead. This human was different than any other he could remember, there was no fear in his eyes. He was in his mid to late 60's, not much older than Chris really but living outside of society made this man seem so much older.

“I need your help”, Chris said.

Branson laughed, “What possible assistance could I give to a Lycan”.

“I have a letter from Frank”. Branson seemed to be moved.

“Do you have a last name to go with that”?

Chris reflected, did Frank ever give his last name? Not to my knowledge.

“No, I have no last name”. This seemed to affect Branson further, he relaxed, “Give me the letter”.

Chris reached into his back pocket and withdrew the letter that Frank gave to him. Slowly. He handed it to Branson, who accepted it with his left hand, the right never seen by Chris.

“Wait here”, Branson said and closed the door. Before it was closed it stopped. Chris heard “Don’t touch the handle”. The door shut.

Chris leaned over and looked at the knob, Seemed ordinary, a dull metal. He smelled it and sneezed. Silver Lycans are extremely allergic to silver.

It took less than a few minutes before Branson opened the door.”Is this true”? His eyes were skeptical.

“It has happened”, Chris said, “It was out of my hands”.

“Well Lycan, do you have a name”?

“I’m Chris, Cheetah, if you prefer”.

“Well Cheetah, we need to move fast, there’s a monster in your midst, soon to be in ours. Do you require sleep”?

“I’m fine”, said Chris, knowing it was a lie. The sun was going down on another day and he had yet to sleep. In fact he hadn’t slept in over 30 hours.

Branson opened the door wide, “You are welcome here, your master and I are known to each other. Be warned, if you change, you will die. I believe that you could use some rest, you will need it and I need to make some arrangements. Upstairs, 2nd door on the left, full bath, no silver”. Branson smiled.

Chris entered and finally saw what was in Branson’s right hand, it was an aerosol can. Chris thought on this, why would something so innocuous as a can be considered a threat? Branson followed Chris’ eyes, “Silver Nitrite, breath this and your lungs couldn’t support you body any more”.

“Follow the stairs, sleep well”, Branson said, “Tomorrow we hunt”.

I am so going to lose this competition. Every story i read just seems to get better and better. This one was quite excellant. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing it with us intrepid.

Wupy

I cant wait to hear the rest

Part 5

The prey was far enough away from it’s hole, it can’t return before I get it. Chris bolted from his hiding, the rabbit saw the wolf approaching and took off in the opposite direction. The wolf closed the gap as the rabbit ran around a chopping. Chris leaped it but didn’t find the animal on the other side. It was hiding amongst the timbers. His nose to the ground Chris sniffed his quarry. It’s mine. He nosed the chopping, moving the branches. The rabbit bolted from it’s haven and Chris leapt over the wood, salivating, the meal was his.

A shadow fell over Chris and a coolness. An incredible weight hit him in the back driving him into the ground. He spun at speed to defend this attack and saw only a gaping maw, breath that could only be described as fetid...............

Chris bolted upright in bed. Sweat covering his frame. What did this dream mean? Was he the hunter, or the hunted? Or both? The experience was passing as dreams do and he thought about the day ahead. It wasn’t light out yet but morning wasn’t far off as the first glimpses of red were creeping though the vail of black. A shower was in order.

Chris came down the stair to meet an empty hallway. Turning straight around to the right he followed it into a kitchen, again empty. Off of the kitchen he heard movement. He entered the room to the left and found Branson at the dining room table. He was packing a small duffle bag, aerosol cans, a gun, the smallest crossbow Chris had ever seen went into the bag.

Branson didn’t even look up, “Pass me that axe, will you”? Chris reached for the axe propped on the chair and stopped. Silver. He looked up at Branson, he had a smile on his face. “Very quick Cheetah. That will help”. Branson picked it up and put it in the bag as well.

“Well, I’m ready”, said Branson, “are you? You seem rested. I am at a loss here, I have no idea what you would eat in our world”.

“Meat and blood”, said Chris.

Branson shook his head, went to his refrigerator and removed a beef steak. He offered it to Chris. His stomach clenched at the offering. It was cold and it was dry. No way he could eat this. Empty he would go until he could feed. Branson shrugged his shoulders, “Sorry, if I knew you were coming I would have stocked up”. He smiled, Chris did as well.

“We leave in half an hour”, said Branson.

“I need to tell you where we need to go”.

Branson said, “What makes you think I don’t know where we’re going”?

Chris reflected on Franks words, “Never underestimate your elders”. I guess this is true, thought Chris. The smirk on Branson’s face seemed to confirm this. There’s something here between Frank and this human that’s unseen, thought Chris. He found that encouraging, Frank would never steer him wrong.
“Cheetah, you can fly on the ground, how well do you do in the air”?

Chris thought on this, “What”?

“I have a helecopter waiting, the taxi will be here shortly to take us it to it”.

Chris blanched, his feet had never left the ground except when he wanted them to.

It's picking up quite nicely, but you best start writing in full-throttle fashion if you are going to make the deadline.

Part 6

Branson looked at the kid. Kid? Hell he might be older than me. It was hard not to think of him as anything but a kid the way he stood there shuddering. The flight had been less than an hour but Chris had been terrified the whole time. He was watching the helecopter leave. Probably grateful that that experience was over.

“On to business kid”. Branson took in the house, it was huge, old and built of sturdy stone. The clearing it was settled in was an expanse set amongst a mixed treed forest, about a quarter mile in any direction. He nodded. Scanning the ground he saw many different track, scattered in them were drops of blood. He walked around the house reading all that the ground would tell him.

He was delaying and he knew it. The fact that they landed here and no one had met them spoke volumes. He knew there was more to see in the house, he had noted that the door was torn from it’s hinges, he worried about the kid. He walked to the door, peered in and removed a can from his bag. He stepped through and began his search. A large sitting room to the right was demolished, there was nothing that could have stood upright, blood was everywhere. Who’s he had no idea.

He turned to call to the kid but when he did he saw that he had already followed. The look on his face told Branson that he knew everything that Branson had been thinking himself. I’m not going to call him “kid” again. They moved carefully through the room to the dining room and kitchen. There was no change, the destruction and scarlet sprayings continued. He was confused though, there was a lot of blood, surely not all Lycan but there was no carnage. “Let’s check upstairs”.

Upstairs was Spartan compared to the lower level. There was blood but not at the quantities below. Again confusing. Did the animal break off it’s attack? Could it get up the stairs? That was a little unnerving, that would make it massive indeed. If it left, where were the Lycans? They returned to the kitchen

“I don’t know that your family died here Chris, I see no indication of it. No bone, no, well, you know. Maybe they got out. Maybe this beast got them out there”. He nodded to the woods, “Maybe they survived.

“OK Chris, tell me about the surrounding area”

“Like what”?

“Everything. Wood density in any given area. Are there any caves? Where? Ravines, likewise. I need to know this area to gauge how we are going to proceed”.

Chris continued unabated, with the few exceptions that Branson needed clarification. This continued on until after noon. Chris’ stomach growled at him.

“Do you want to hunt for a meal”?

Chris reflected on his dream of the night before and shook his head. He was hungry but that vision wouldn’t be shaken. If he left here alone, he knew he wouldn’t be coming back.

“OK”, Branson continued, “I see no other option but to bring this thing to us, out there we would be easy game. Here we have at least the choice of our battleground.”

He lowered his bag onto the counter and removed it’s contents. He picked up the gun and walked towards the back of the house, indicating to Chris to remain where he was. He walked passed the remains of the back door and fired off three shots. Returning to the kitchen he saw a look on Chris’ face, “Yes”?

“What do we do now”?

“We do what little we can to prepare, then we wait. And watch”.

It keeps getting better.....

reminds me of those serials we used to watch at the movies when I was a kid. It would show about 10 mins a week and you would watch it in 5-10 instalments

Part 7

“From what I’ve seen of the house the best place for us to stand is the dining room. We can see both hallways leading to the doors.” Branson gathered up his bag and they moved into that room. “We need to clear this debris away, give us room to move. Don’t take your eyes off of the front hallway for more than a second though, I’ve got the back.” Together they move the smashed table and broken chairs into a corner, always keeping up on watch.

That task took less than 5 minutes and when completed Branson grabbed his duffle and removed the solid silver axe and propped it against the wall. He removed the small crossbow and looked at Chris, “Do you believe you can use this? This is very important.” It had been decades but he had fire handguns before, he asked Branson if it was any different. “Yes, this has a stiff trigger, it’s meant to and you only get one shot. You will not be able to reload it”.

“I can handle it. Why is this so important”?

“This is our default. Even if this thing kills us, if you can get that bolt into it’s abdomen or chest it will eventually kill it. This is our first priority, getting out alive, that’s our bonus”. He smiled. “Let’s earn that bonus”.

Branson took out two cans of aerosol and leaned against the wall and indicated to Chris where to position himself. It was mid afternoon and Branson hoped that the werewolf wouldn’t wait until after sundown, he’d hate to have to fight it with a sight disadvantage. He looked over at Chris, his eyes were on his duty but it wasn’t hard to tell that his thoughts were on his family. He felt for the Lycan and chuckled at that thought, then continued to scan his hallway.

“How did you know I was a Lycan”?

“What?

“When I was first at your door you knew I was a Lycan, how did you know”?

“That was easy. Salem is not a large town but your nose was curled up and you were breathing through you mouth. Sensitive nose and not accustomed to civilization led me to believe you were either a Lycan or you had a sever case of allergies”. He laughed at that. That made sense Chris thought. He gave Branson half a smile.

Another hour passed and it was getting close to supper time. The waiting was beginning to tell on the older man. He was aware though.

“How do you and Frank know each other”?

“Full of question are you Chris?” Branson’s smile was becoming a common occurance, “Over 50 years ago, I would have been in my early teens, I was attacked by a pair of Lycans. Easy dinner I guess. What they didn’t know was that another Lycan was there that couldn’t stand to see an innocent human butchered. They protested violently, Frank dispatched them without breaking a sweat. I am indebted to him, not only for saving my life but also for giving me the opportunity to educate myself about the species. I was always prepared....”. Chris had stiffened. Branson’s ears weren’t as good as the Lycans but he could read body language.

“OK Chris, tell me everything that you hear”.

“It’s at the back door. Sniffing, you can’t hear it”?

Branson didn’t answer, it was obvious and he needed Chris’ input.

“It’s moving away from the door.”

A couple of minutes later Chris said, “It’s at the front now, still sniffing. HERE IT COMES”.

Branson didn’t see the beginning of the beasts leap as it had started in the living room but coming into the dining room it was four feet off of the floor, it’s head scraping the ceiling. Jesus, it was enormous. The speed of the Lycan amazed Branson. Chris dove under the werewolf and inverted shooting the crossbow directly into it’s underbelly. Damn, he does deserve the name Cheetah. The wolf howled towards the ceiling and landed a mere 5 feet from Branson, it was taking him in with the malevolence of a demon. Branson raised one of his cans and sprayed it in the air directly in from of him and stepped back. He tripped over a chair leg and landed on his back. The beast jumped though the mist and was towering over Branson, it’s paws to the side of Branson’s shoulders. He raised both cans and unloaded the contents into the animal muzzle. It roared again. It’s eyes glazed over and it wobbled for a second. It’s eyes cleared and it sneezed a load of phlem onto Branson. He felt fear for the first time in many years. Well I guess I don’t get that bonus, he thought. The roaring of the beast had stopped and something else was picked up by his ears, screaming?

Branson wiped his face and what he saw made no sense to him, the wolfs scowl was broader than before and it appeared as if it had a shiny front tooth. He wiped his eyes again and focused on what he was trying to process. The beasts head had been cleft from top to bottom. The screams continued as he saw the axe swing in from his left. The top of the wolf’s head flew from it’s body, which continued along in the same direction.

Branson heard a clang and as he was getting up he saw Chris, grimacing in pain and holding his hands crossed up to his chest. It became clear what had happened, the Lycan had dispatched the wolf at the expense of it’s hands. Would they heal? Branson wondered. This was the second time in his life that he had been saved by a Lycan. He would do what he could for Chris.

Chris looked at the corpse, “The Chore is completed”.


Epilogue

The following morning saw the two of them in the front yard. Chris’ hands were bandaged and Branson thought they would heal, given time. They had accomplished a terrific task, they would have that always.

“You are welcome at my house anytime Chris. Are you sure you don’t want to come back now and recuperate”?

“No, I have to look for my family, I need to know what’s become of them. Also, I don’t think I could bear another trip in that thing. He nodded to the sky. Branson strained his eyes, appearantly the Lycan had the better eyes as he did ears. It was a full minute before he could see the helecopter.

They didn’t shake hands but it was clear that friendship was there. Chris said that he would see Branson again. He watched as the aircraft flew into the distance. He was alone for the first time in decades, it was not a pleasant feeling. Lycans were meant to be in a pack. He would rest another day or two, then he would be off in search of the them. Luna, please let them be well and let me find them.

Fini




Cue Boulevard of Broken Dreams and roll the Credits:

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone.......”

Bravo

Great story bro.

Flesh it out a bit and it would make a great book

Intrepid, what can I really except....I can't believe you finished in time

seriously though, this was very well written, a bit long for a short story but great non the less. I can actually see this as a movie. Your dialogue was good, the story flowed pretty well even though you had to break it up into different entries. You're very descriptive and set the scene easily, Chris the lycan was definitely a likeable figure and you expressed him very well.
I would love to know if Chris ever finds his clan again...and I also think this would make a great series.

Keep it coming, Intrepid! I'm anxious to see where the sequel leads!

Great descriptions, characterization, everything. Plus, you left enough open to leave everyone wondering and anxious for the next chapter!

Hello, my name is DeusEx, and I endorse this story.

DE

Originally posted by worldwatcher
Intrepid, what can I really except....I can't believe you finished in time [/qoute]

Tell me about it, I think I got it in with a half hour to spare, damn life.

seriously though, this was very well written, a bit long for a short story but great non the less. I can actually see this as a movie. Your dialogue was good, the story flowed pretty well even though you had to break it up into different entries. You're very descriptive and set the scene easily, Chris the lycan was definitely a likeable figure and you expressed him very well.
I would love to know if Chris ever finds his clan again...and I also think this would make a great series.

Thanks, had to write it as it came to me. I don't think this story is done, just need some down time. I HATE summer. Damn Canucks.

My apologies for not being able to contribute to this forum lately. Very much going on but we have many newer writers and I would like to share this with you. I'm not looking for kudos(or a kick in the butt), I just hope this entertains. Thus the bump.