Money or Love??

Iam currently seeing a guy who is very well off Iam talking $250,000/year or more well off!! And he is divorced and has a littler girl whom he is raising all by himself. I had always told myself that i would never date much less amrry someone who has kids, but the fact that he makes so much money really attracts me to him! I feel that Iam falling for the money and not him. Some people tell me that love eventually fades away and some times the only thing keeping certain married couples together is the $$$$!! So many women say they would rather marry for money than love!! Is marrying for money really that bad?? What should i do????

If gold diggin is your thing I say Go for it.

if you know he has money, then it is because he knows what motivates you.

if he believes this is what motivates you, then he believes you can be bought.

if you believe you are for sale, it is not love.

if it is not love, it is about the money.

love is not singular. there are levels of love. money should not be one of them, but that is ultimatley up to the individual.

people can love with their heart
people can love with their mind
people can love with their body
people can love with their soul
people can love with their cells

what you are asking is if you can love with your purse
what you are asking is if he can love with his wallet/checkbook

if that can be accomplished, then heart and soul and cells take a back seat to the green greed, but you'll still be able to love him with your body and mind.

can you marry a guy for his money and seriously offer yourself totally?
can a man lure you in with his money and still respect you afterwards?

he knows your heart is weak or damaged
he knows your soul is negotiable

think about what you want.
money = love restrained and harnessed
love = love

I would suggest dating a fellow smurf instead, and look at the smurf's asset base as not a factor in your feelings for him as a smurf.

go for the money everytime......you know it makes sense.

If you want to go for the money, than why ask.

Maybe the reason you are asking may be because deep down you really dont agree with marrying for money...

Look the truth is, both types of marriage have divorce rates...either for love or money .... Love an end and so does money...the problem is if there is no love and the money ends you'll be kind of stuck with a guy you dont care about untill you can get a divorce.

In fact the MAIN reason for Divorce is MARRIAGE.

Go for the money honey !!!

Once you're there and you get your hands on some of it.... send it my way:shk::shk:

Marry for love, not money.

Originally posted by optimus fett
go for the money everytime......you know it makes sense.

Firstly do not listen to this man, he is an escaped mental patient that has been on the run from authorities for years and only managed to escape them by smuggling himself to Portugal in a suitcase and changing his identity!

Secondly, if you marry for money then u'll spend the rest of your life unhappy and probably cheating on your husband to make yourself happy!

Marry for love....it'll be worth it!

Mic

If you marry for money.......make sure he doesn't think it's for love.

Nothing wrong with it if you're honest.......but do make sure you think it through.

Originally posted by MemoryShock
If you marry for money.......make sure he doesn't think it's for love.

Nothing wrong with it if you're honest.......but do make sure you think it through.

Excellent post!

A sort of 'Trophy Wife'!

Live your own life with his money, and be there when he needs a wife by his side, at buisness events etc......

Mic

Originally posted by danielle0518
So many women say they would rather marry for money than love!! Is marrying for money really that bad?? What should i do????

Give him my phone number.

I don't know.. money can make a man look better as women naturally may prefer someone who can provide for potential offspring [not that they can't themselves] so it may not be as shallow as you think. It's kind of like when bower birds collect blue things to impress the female.. they also steal blue things from other bower birds who are trying to impress females so we really aren't all that different.. I'd have no probs with it perosnally.. providing there is alot of chemistry, friendship, laughter and our personalities suit.. hang on.. thats love isn't it? Never mind then...

Blah

I'm living proof that money doesn't buy you happiness.

I married for love - yup, true love - but my husband also happened to have El Hugo Salario, and a penchant for spending like it was going out of fashion. He bought me gifts, endless amounts of jewelry and other "things"....but couldn't really provide for me emotionally, you know?

I learned the hard way that buying things is no substitute for someone actually caring about you, and supporting you emotionally.

I'm divorced now. Broke, too. But at least I know I'm not with someone who still thinks buying gifts is a reasonable substitute for love and respect.

(Though I have to ask - how much would you respect this guy, if you marry him for money? And please don't take this the wrong way - but how much would you respect yourself if you do so? Isn't that akin to selling yourself?)

Tinkleflower is right, money won't make you happy.

It will give you all you want in the world.. A world of privelage and prestige, but deep down you will know that it's not well deserved.

You will succumb to self-depreciation, your husband won't treat you like an equal, and you will hate him for that.


A study was recently done and it states that women who marry for love are happier even if they are poor.

What does that tell you?

If you are true to your heart, and stay true to yourself, you will find somebody who is the same, and maybe instead of worrying about what's in his wallet, worry about what's in yours?

Take pride in yourself, invest your money to create more assets, the more you do this the less you will worry about money...

Maybe what you should do is start with that, and just have casual relationships...

This guy is not good news. It's like dangling a carrot over your nose, he lack something in his person and is making up for it through his check book.


Don't take the bait, your life will be dreamy at first but inevitably it will become miserable.

Great Posts Tinkleflower and True lies. I agree. Money can buy one options and ease/convenience. But love..no way.

Women who can provide their own levels of security with or without children are free to take up with a man for "love " only. This is the very commodity so many women claim is missing from their lives.
What is wrong with thier thinking process??? This cannot be accidental. I submit to you that many have somehow substituted consumption levels and access to the security required for consumption levels and called this love. They have come up short at some time in their lives. So have the men in thier ignorance.

I never discuss what I make or own with women I see. Many try to probe and I find it sickening. Its like I'm socially required to fill out a resume. Awful. I tell them I'm employed. Thats all they need to know.
Within the social structure of "relationships" women are often looking for options. Many tend to catalogue this as love. It is often not love but consumption rates.

My question for you Danielle is what do you have to offer in the marketplace that other women cannot offer more or better. Also what do you have to offer this man that he needs so badly from you that he cannot provide for himself??? You dont seem wont to express this view? Most women do not. It is often so one sided. Implicit not explicit.
From a mans perspective..as my friend told me women come over to his home when he dates them and they soon see what they can have for them and their children not what they need to offer him in the marketplace. I have experienced this very thing myself.
You see Danielle..there is no discussion concerning what this man had to do to get into a 6 figure salary. What sacrafices he has made to get there. This is what I mean by implicit verses explicit. The message to me is that his struggles can be taken for granted but she gets access to all of it without work in one day. Little wonder the brides magazines are the thickest ones on the stands. So what do you really have to offer for this in the marketplace against the competition. What commodity does he really need from a woman ..or is it just about access to the money??
Dont worry Danielle this is way to deep for most men to understand. Way to dumb. Even for men with money.

Well done Tinkleflower and True lies..well done!!

Thanks,
Orangetom

Originally posted by orangetom1999
Women who can provide their own levels of security with or without children are free to take up with a man for "love " only. This is the very commodity so many women claim is missing from their lives.
What is wrong with thier thinking process???

It's simply the culmination of thousands of years of women [in general] being taught to get security through men.. and the obvious fact that women are basically not able to provide for themselves when they've just given birth or about to.. unless you've got a wet nurse or have great childcare facilities the options aren't that great security wise. I don't buy into this personally [or into the morality of women extorting things out of men with sex] but I understand why some women try cover their bases in regard to providing for kids.

lol love all the way baby!

Sorry but if i want money ill go make it myself! I have been with guys who have been well off and never once have i took a penny of them,



Do i want to waste my time with a guy that i dont even want to be with?
NO

Be your own leader in life,

Love last forever, money does not.

Im a romantic tho so I would say that.

Money cant buy you happiness but it gives you more choices in life.

Personally, if you dont have love in your life then you have nothing

Sapphy

Originally posted by danielle0518
I feel that Iam falling for the money and not him...many women say they would rather marry for money than love... What should i do?

Those women, if they knew love, they would not say such a thing.

To place anything else above love is sacrilege to all true lovers.

Romeo will turn in his grave.

danielle, you are a good person. The mere fact that you have acknowledge that you are after his money, this will prevent you from taking the step of deceiving him.

Honest people dont do stupid things.

You want to sleep easy, dont you.


Maybe deep down you feel sorry for him that he has to bring up his kid on his own.

It appears you yourself are in need of money for some reasons.

I would suggest that instead of marrying him, why dont you work for him and look after his daughter.

If he is handsome on the inside, he will pay you handsomely. This way you will get to know him better. Then you can really fall for him.

Maybe he will fall for you. Then you can sleep easy, in his "rich arms."




[edit on 7-9-2005 by mr conspiracy]

You and many other peoples are way off. The number one requirement of people is "survival" It is not Love.

In our man made security blankets we often use the word Love to cover so many things we think are important or that we deceive ourselves into thinking are important.

Love is important in the family context..but so is survival. Many mechanisms in different cultures have been devised to cover survival. Love is abscent in many of them. It is not a high priority.

In western culture access to this man made security blanket is often what passes for love especially in female social circles. It is considered normal for a woman to marry for these reasons. In male social circles it is not as acceptable..even among the women. You do not find many women marrying down the economic ladder. They tend to want a man who makes as much or more moneys than they. Thus indicating the double standard and the different values in the survival technique. You dont seem wont to post this view in lieu of all your "love " views.

My point is that morality can take on many guises ..often hidden. One needs different thinking to peel back the veneer and really look underneath. When you understand basic survival and contrast this with "Love" you can see a different picture than is posted by many peoples.
I can gaurantee you that women understand survival very intimately and from a clearly different perspective than most men are even capable of thinking about it.

Thanks,
Orangetom