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Thirty lines to make you smile!

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posted on Jun, 14 2005 @ 10:09 PM
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Subject: Thirty lines to make you smile!


1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
he
was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.

13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I grew up.

19.. Procrastinate Now!

20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

24.. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

26..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.

27..Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for
a pig.

28.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

29.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

30.. I smile because I don't know what the! hell is going on.




posted on Jun, 15 2005 @ 05:31 PM
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I got a kick out of 1, 4, 16 and 17....I didn't seem to think number 24 was so funny! The only one that really stood out and made sense was number 6. Thanks for those Memorialday!



posted on Jun, 16 2005 @ 05:16 PM
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31) My spam filter.

There are two million three hundred and sixty thousand returns for this piece in full already on the internet not counting all the times it's infected everyone's in-box with it's sassy and infectious style of humor.


Now that's depressing. Thanks for the bring down buzz killer.



posted on Jun, 16 2005 @ 05:38 PM
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Your name sure does describe you!




posted on Jun, 16 2005 @ 05:56 PM
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Originally posted by CHICKST3R
Your name sure does describe you!



RANT is a great mod, and adds some spice to ATS.

[edit on 16-6-2005 by Jakko]



posted on Jun, 16 2005 @ 08:52 PM
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Originally posted by Jakko

Originally posted by CHICKST3R
Your name sure does describe you!



RANT is a great mod, and adds some spice to ATS.

[edit on 16-6-2005 by Jakko]


You didn't have to change it. I don't care if you get mad at me.

We resolved our issues (for the moment).


external image



posted on Jun, 16 2005 @ 10:30 PM
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I have been instructed to delete this thread along with other jokes I posted but I don't know how. So if the mod would like to do so, please feel free.

I would also appreciate not being personally attacked just because I do not spend my entire life on the internet to know what has already been around or not. I was only trying to bring some laughter and my intentions were innocent. A simple, this has been circulated, thread closed would have been professional and polite to a newbie. Thank you.



posted on Jun, 16 2005 @ 10:46 PM
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I never saw these before.... keep the thread open... it shouldn't be closed.



posted on Jun, 17 2005 @ 04:48 AM
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Originally posted by Memorialday1999
I have been instructed to delete this thread along with other jokes I posted but I don't know how. So if the mod would like to do so, please feel free.


You weren't instructed to delete this thread. But on seeing 4 chain letters (2 of which were fradulent and closed) being posted by you in a row, you were asked to stop emptying your in-box on these forums.


A simple, this has been circulated, thread closed would have been professional and polite to a newbie. Thank you.


Ah, but that's not how we roll. Who get's simple? I'm sure you complained here, U2U'ed me twice and started a seperate RANT on this to make a point that you felt couldn't be conveyed with a simple boo hoo. The auto messages mods send are just that. Automated. They aren't simple. They contain important information and explain the infractions for which you're being given a minor slap, like long copy/pastes without links.

And again, this thread isn't closed. It just needed a link,
that it is. It's been left open for continued analytical commentary from cpr12r (who hadn't seen it), who I now expect is preparing to respond to each of the 30 Lines to Make You Smile with an interesting and engaging rebuttal to further the discussion.


Originally posted by cpr12r
I never saw these before.... keep the thread open... it shouldn't be closed.


Go ahead. Thread open just for you. Discuss.



posted on Jun, 17 2005 @ 11:33 AM
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Rant. After coming back online yesterday and seeing 6 u2u's from you all on the same thing, what exactly did you expect of me? I have been here two weeks thus if I do not have the rule book memorized yet then feel free to shoot me. Mistakes happen and I made those joke posts almost in a row thus yes, I was not aware of repeating a mistake.

You did a very good job of sounding like an American corporation. A simple post or u2u that says "this type of post is not allowable on this site, please refer to the following and due to such points will be reduced" would have been professional and nice. You decided to belittle me in posts and u2u thus I responded to you as most people would. If you had expected me to crawl in a hole, sorry I let you down.

Now since you took this to public posts first when responding to them like you did, I followed suit. You have now had your say and now I have had mine. So lets not continue to bore the general public with this. I think you have set the tone quite well. Have a wonderful weekend and try to get out and have some fun if you can.



posted on Jun, 23 2005 @ 02:19 PM
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who I now expect is preparing to respond to each of the 30 Lines to Make You Smile with an interesting and engaging rebuttal to further the discussion.




Oh, that's just too much....



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