posted on Jun, 27 2005 @ 12:21 PM
I hope you don't mind me throwing in my two cents; I--like I'm sure a lot (if not most) of the people here and elsewhere--have felt the same many,
many times. I came quite close to punching my own ticket a long time ago, and there's still days where it sounds much better than the alternative.
I personally have a hard time discussing things like this with other people when I need to, so you have my respect for trying to vent instead of
taking the other route.
The main reason I am posting this is because of your response to Ben--no dreams, and the closest thing is the airline pilot school that you can't
afford. Now, I'm not much older than you, but in my short amount of time on this planet I've learned what I consider to be one of the most
important lessons in life. Forgive me for possibly pointing out the obvious, but it seems like it might need to be done. This lesson has two
1) The most important thing anyone needs in this world is a dream, something to set their sights on.
2) The only obstacles one cannot over come are the ones they set up themselves.
You say you don't have any dreams or aspirations. I say that you either haven't discovered what you want yet or you feel that everything you want
is out of reach. If it's the former, then keep looking. Make that your goal if you need to: find out what your goal is. If you feel it's out of
reach--like the pilot school is--then you need to reevaluate if it's something you really want or not.
The most important psychological advice I've ever heard is "Be honest with yourself." Me, I'm lazy as hell. There's lots of things I want, and
I could have just about any of them--if I could pry myself off of my video games long enough to pursue them. But that's me, and I've saved myself a
lot of stress by admitting to myself that I just don't want something bad enough to go through the hassel of trying to get it.
$12K (I'm US, that's what I'll work with since you gave that figure) is a lot of money. I don't know anything about your situation,
where/if you work, how much you make, how much you have to shell out every month, but for me that's over half my annual salary--there's no way I
could manage that and still survive at the standards I've set for myself. But if it's something you really want, then you start working towards it.
You save a buck here or there, you stop eating out, you quit some of the more expensive habits you have.
If there were something that I personally wanted that I'd have to make significant lifestyle changes for I'd have to sit there and thing a long time
about whether it's worth it or not. If it's worth it, then you go for it and you don't stop until you have it. If it's not, then you move on to
the next idea, and keep that one in mind until its easier on the pocket book.
If nothing else though, remember that your life is only as good as you let it be. True, there are many things that can really screw you up and that
you have no control over, such as what happened with your dad. But general day-to-day living is as good or as bad as you want it. Money doesn't
equal happiness (I forget who said it, but one of my favorite quotes is "Money just gives you more time to see how miserable you are.") Love and
relationships don't always equal happiness either. Happiness is almost entirely dependant on your view of what life hands you--is that car crash bad
because now you have to walk everywhere, or is it good because you now have reason to look at the scenery on your walk to work?
Anyways, I've rambled enough. Hope I helped out some, or at least that this made sense. Good luck.