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Al-Qaeda Submarine Spotted Off Coast of Wyoming

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posted on Jun, 6 2005 @ 06:19 AM
Ever have a topic title burning a hole in your brain for days and no place to stick it?

This is that topic.

Let the crazy out here, and feel free to illustrate (or let others help).

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Osama Bin Laden has finally resurfaced in an altogether unexpected hot spot, Wyoming's Yellowstone Caldera. The Al-Qaeda mastermind and (apparently) Submarine Commander terrified on-lookers today with a hot new look as he stopped briefly to take a leak and get directions.


See? I had no idea where this was going when I wrote that title. This really helps clear the muck out. Even if you can't support the title you'd really, really, really like to submit to ATSNN (but know you shouldn't), just stick it here and our crack team of crazy people will help you out. Do Marxists Run Your Child's Elementary School? Is the Earth Only 6,000 Years Old? Was a Pulitzer Awarded to WorldNetDaily? Or were WMD's Found!

Nothing too outlandish for this thread.

posted on Jun, 6 2005 @ 10:40 AM
I just saw this promo on TV for a new National Geographic Special!! I transcribed as much as I could, and posted it ASAP!

Da dada DAAAA da...Da dada DAAAA da....Da dada da dada dada DAAAA!

*Fade from black to dark oceans - Que the corny music and movie preview voice man*

Turtle Man.....

He has roamed the oceans for a millenia - unnoticed....and underappreciated...

In this new 6 hour National Geographic special, we take you 40,000 feet below the surface with a mission to interview mankind's missing link to our evolution....There is one left, and it is Jacques Cousteau, Jr. who is determined to find him....

"I zink we aull want zis tooo happin az much az anyone elze - Zis iz amiracll.....Weeght - Stop fuilmen....Shhhhhhh! - Did zu hear zat?"

You'll go deeper....

"No! Dameet...I sayz not yit! We muzt be wvery delikate wiz zhese equipments"

You'll go further....

"And so they all just died, and I was like the only one left....So dude...I've been like - swimming around for years - Just chillin', ya know...."

Own it today on VCR/DVD/Beta-Max for just five easy payments of $19.95....

posted on Jun, 7 2005 @ 06:38 AM

posted on Jun, 7 2005 @ 10:41 AM
In a candid interview with Bryant Gumbel at Camp David yesterday, President George W. Bush put speculation to rest when he revealed that the rumors are true and he is, in fact, a shape-shifting, reptilian alien from outer space.

Looking calm and relaxed, occasionally unhinging his hind jaw and swallowing a chicken egg or two, President Bush said that he was just glad he could finally "let his scales hang out" and live life not having to worry about being caught digesting rodents in the White House kitchen.

"You know, I wanna thank all you homos", the President said, "..heh heh...I mean homosapiens, that's a li'l joke where I comes from. Anyways, I just wanna thank y'all for makin' me feel so welcome on yer li'l planet here. Almost makes ma cold blood turn warm, it does."

When asked how he thought the revelation would impact his leadership of the country, the President flicked his forked tongue pensively a few times and replied, "Well, it'll be business as usual as far as I'm concerned. Ma daddy, the Grand Serpent Dubya Aitch, says that just coz we done revealed ourselves, now that don't mean we has ta stop killin' folks and invadin' other countries for their oil. Like I says, you're either with us, or ya aint a blood-suckin' reptile."

Speaking of his younger years, Bush recounted his feelings of anguish knowing that he was different to the rest of us.

"Ya know, my favorite movie used to be that, whatyamacallit? "V"? Yep, that's the one. Ya know I used to watch that thinkin' how luckys all them reptiles were that they could rip their masks off, eat a rat or two, and spray that stuff all over the place, and still, folks wouldn't mind much. Now, I'm just relieved to finally be able to come out...of the snake tank."

Last night Bush made a special short address to the nation regarding his outing, in which he said, "My fellow Americans and Nibiruans. Hssssst. Click click, sssssssss, click, hssssssssssssss!"

And President Bush's disclosure hasn't been the only one. After his confession was revealed to the world, many others have come out to reveal their true nature, including Henry Kissinger, Tony Blair, Osama Bin Laden, Micheal Moore, Alex Jones and Kofi Annan. The royals were unavailable for comment as they were on vacation in a cave in the Nevada desert.

Please visit the link provided for the complete story.

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