In a candid interview with Bryant Gumbel at Camp David yesterday, President George W. Bush put speculation to rest when he revealed that the rumors
are true and he is, in fact, a shape-shifting, reptilian alien from outer space.
Looking calm and relaxed, occasionally unhinging his hind jaw and swallowing a chicken egg or two, President Bush said that he was just glad he could
finally "let his scales hang out" and live life not having to worry about being caught digesting rodents in the White House kitchen.
"You know, I wanna thank all you homos", the President said, "..heh heh...I mean homosapiens
, that's a li'l joke where I comes from.
Anyways, I just wanna thank y'all for makin' me feel so welcome on yer li'l planet here. Almost makes ma cold blood turn warm, it does."
When asked how he thought the revelation would impact his leadership of the country, the President flicked his forked tongue pensively a few times and
replied, "Well, it'll be business as usual as far as I'm concerned. Ma daddy, the Grand Serpent Dubya Aitch, says that just coz we done revealed
ourselves, now that don't mean we has ta stop killin' folks and invadin' other countries for their oil. Like I says, you're either with us, or ya
aint a blood-suckin' reptile."
Speaking of his younger years, Bush recounted his feelings of anguish knowing that he was different to the rest of us.
"Ya know, my favorite movie used to be that, whatyamacallit? "V"? Yep, that's the one. Ya know I used to watch that thinkin' how luckys all them
reptiles were that they could rip their masks off, eat a rat or two, and spray that stuff all over the place, and still, folks wouldn't mind much.
Now, I'm just relieved to finally be able to come out...of the snake tank."
Last night Bush made a special short address to the nation regarding his outing, in which he said, "My fellow Americans and Nibiruans. Hssssst. Click
click, sssssssss, click, hssssssssssssss!"
And President Bush's disclosure hasn't been the only one. After his confession was revealed to the world, many others have come out to reveal their
true nature, including Henry Kissinger, Tony Blair, Osama Bin Laden, Micheal Moore, Alex Jones and Kofi Annan. The royals were unavailable for comment
as they were on vacation in a cave in the Nevada desert.Please visit the link provided for the complete story.