It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.


Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.


Start a New Religion!

page: 1

log in


posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 05:46 AM
Do you all remember the last census when Jedi was made an official religion?!

What is the Census ?

Since 1801, every 10 years the nation has set aside one day for the Census - a count of all people and households. It is the most complete source of information about the population that we have. The latest Census was held on Sunday 29 April 2001.

Every effort is made to include everyone, and that is why the Census is so important. It is the only survey which provides a detailed picture of the entire population, and is unique because it covers everyone at the same time and asks the same core questions everywhere, making it easy to compare different parts of the country.

The information the Census provides allows central and local Government, health authorities and many other organisations to target their resources more effectively and to plan housing, education, health and transport services for years to come.

In England and Wales, the Census is planned and carried out by the Office for National Statistics. Elsewhere in the UK, responsibility lies with the General Register Office for Scotland and the Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency.

How easy do you think it would be to establish a new religion through the census? In 2001 Jedi was put along side Church of England, Roman Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist and Hindu.

Also on the list include other religions such as The Church of Free Love, Wiccan, Divine Lightmission, and The Coleraine Christian Centre.

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 05:56 AM
Apparently all you need to start a recognized religion in America is a website, checking account and a desire to mold young people.

The new US Government Metaphysics Department that Bush signed into law breaking a 225 year tradition of seperation recognizes and awards tax dollars to all kinds of crazy cults.

Scientologists against drug abuse, Moonies against America, Baptists...

I hope to get my $300,000 a year (of your tax dollars) for Golf and Satan, a cult devoted to reducing youth obesity through outdoor recreation and doing as thou willst.

[edit on 4-6-2005 by RANT]

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 06:05 AM
You only need 300 people fot it to become an official religion. Thats how Jedi become an official religion, so get 300 of your mates to agree to a religion, then it becomes offficial!

[edit on 4-6-2005 by infinite]

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 06:08 AM
300 people!? I heard it was 1000, but that was from an unreliable source (my mate while intoxicated).

300 people could so easily be found through chainletters, posting on messageboards

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 06:36 AM

Originally posted by phixion
300 people!? I heard it was 1000, but that was from an unreliable source (my mate while intoxicated).

300 people could so easily be found through chainletters, posting on messageboards

Well 300 is needed for the UK census, i remember hearing it on a TV show afew years ago

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 07:12 AM
The BlackGuardXIII Discount Warehouse Church of the Holy Profit

Welcome, and may Spirit bless you with success in all you do.
Here at DWCHP we believe in you. Your faith is none of our business. We have faith that you know enough to make up your own mind. So be you anything from an Animist to a Zarathustran, you are welcome here.
And if you join, you will find we have the lowest tithes, guaranteed. 20%?, no, 10%? no, 5% no, we only ask for 2.5%. And if you find lower tithes anywhere, we will beat their rate by 5%. And what do you get for your cold, hard cash donations? You would think that we would not be able to offer you very much for such a small sum. As an example, lets say you make $50 000 per year. At 20%, you'd be paying $10 000 every single year! Here, we demand only $1 250.00, which works out to not much more than $100 a month. Imagine what you could do with all that extra income you’d be saving...
And this is the best part, you still receive every single intangible spiritual blessing as you would from any other Church. We guarantee, you will not lose one single spiritual benefit. So what are you waiting for? Call today.
We accept all major credit cards, debit cards, pay pal, precious metals, and virtually any solvent national currency. Come on, what have you got to lose? Your soul will thank you for it, and I guarantee, you won't regret it.
We have the best rates, and can offer you the very same quality and variety of intangible spiritual benefits as any other church....we'll pray for you, sing hymns, get you to memorize certain verses, and your Soul will not miss a single blessing even though you will be saving up to 87.5% on your tithes, compared to some of those other churches! that is a huge savings.
If you do not achieve salvation, nirvana, bodisattva, or whatever with us, you can get up to 80%* of your money back.
*limited time offer, OAC, certain conditions apply.
But wait, thats not all! Friend, if you act right now, and call our 800 number, before tomorrow, while quantities last, we will ship you, at absolutely no extra charge, a map of the local area surrounding your BGDWCHP, that we have highlighted the nearest ATM machines, banks, and credit unions, so when you want to get started, you won't waste one extra minute of time. We do this for you because we know how valuable your time is. So, join today, you'll be glad you did!!!!

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 07:24 AM

And what are your views on sex, drugs and rock'n'roll?

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 07:47 AM
Sex may sound like a lot of fun, but beware, it often leads to more nefarious activities such as dancing. Drugs can be a problem unless you are very rich and can afford them. Also, the pharmaceutical giants clearly point out that the synthetic 'happy pills' like prozac and ritalin are not for everyone, and the illegal drugs require associating with somewhat unpredictable and potentially violent sources. Whatever you do, don't get yourself into any size debt with one, or you may find that their late payment penalties are much more unpleasant than the banks.
Rock and roll.... well, in my experience over the last 25 years or so, having seen dozens of bands like Steve Miller, the Eagles, BTO, Ted Nugent, Iron Maiden, G n R, Motley Crue, and Simon and Garfunkel, not to mention the Who, VH, ZZ Top, and the Scorpions, I can safely say that rock and roll is perfectly harmless. Unless, of course, you are on the floor of the arena, up against the barrier at center stage of an Ozzy show. That is not as safe, trust me.
So, to summarize, just be careful, especially when combining all three at once, since the results are highly unpredictable.
Remember, 40 % of University students polled agreed that due to the large number of deaths it causes each year, dihydrogen oxide should be banned.

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 08:11 AM
Well I will like to start a religious group to worship no religion.

I better start signing my 300 people so I can get my tax payer money, all I could do with that money hum . . . travel around the world, "occurs in the name of my church and to convert"

Occurs once I get my followers they will keep the money flowing with their generous donations

This sounds like a good idea.

Actually my husband and I have a very old good friend that was thinking on doing just that to cash out on the opportunity.

I wonder how many opportunist are cashing out on the generosity of our Born Christian in the white house.

posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 04:25 PM
Only a damned fool would try to deny that what I so selflessly and loving share with all you sinners here is the divinely inspired, flawless, exclusive, perfect, factual, true message of the One True God.
I dutifully, authoritatively, and fervently proclaim to you this dire warning.
It is an absolutely mandatory prerequisite for your soul's salvation that you change your heretical current personal spiritual beliefs immediately.
You must replace them with accepting, believing, and spreading whatever messages I decide to be the right interpretations of verses from whichever one of all the scriptures ever written I have decided is the genuine one.
If you foolishly refuse my generous and loving offer to join our supremely ethical and righteous family, I am morally compelled to alert you to the fact that after your death, indescribably hideous tortures conceived of in the most sadistic criminal minds who've ever lived will be meticulously and expertly performed upon your person for no shorter a period of time than a googleplex to the power of a googleplex number of millenia.
That is a very long time, I might add. It is simple, just accept without question that we are superior, and that until you do, you are surely hellbound and misguided, because that is your only hope, and in fact, all that the one true God wants you to do.

God loves you, light and love to all....

posted on Sep, 11 2005 @ 09:02 AM
BG...I know we rarely see eye to eye on much (anything?!)...but dang. You are now responsible for hot coffee splurting out of my nostrils.

Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. I really, really needed to laugh today

Specially the dihydrogen oxide bit...

(Shh...You have voted BlackGuardXIII for the Way Above Top Secret award. You have used all of your votes for this month.)

(Yes, I know, I know, I'm late. So sue me)

[edit on 11-9-2005 by Tinkleflower]

posted on Sep, 12 2005 @ 01:21 AM
First, thank you for letting me know that you enjoyed my post. That knowledge is extremely meaningful to me, and I could not expect to hear anything better than that when I post a comment. I am very happy to hear that my post made you laugh when you needed a laugh, though I am sorry about the hot coffee. I know what pop feels like when it comes out my nose, it hurts, and I imagine hot coffee would hurt even more.
And I only disagree slightly with your point about us not seeing eye to eye. Though my views may appear to differ from yours as much as you say, I can honestly say that for the most part I have found your posts quite agreeable. I am sure that I have posted views in opposition to yours, but just wanted to let you know that I have nodded my head while reading much of what you have posted. I can totally understand your point, though, since I seem to give the impression that I disagree with virtually everyone I meet. In my defense I offer this, though nearly everyone tells me I am wrong, I truly feel that they are not. I believe that we can both be right. Of course, I am told that that is just not right, and I am wrong.... almost every time. But I'm used to it, so it doesn't bug me too much anymore. Usually, I find it good, because I would dread a world where everyone agreed on everything. No one would need to talk anymore, and I am sure I'd die of boredom.

posted on Sep, 12 2005 @ 02:52 AM
At the rather significant risk of being pelted with bottles, I'm gonna have to point out that the whole "Create an official religion by marking it on the census" thingy is completely bogus. Putting Jedi down as your religion will not force the government to accept it as a legitimate religion, no matter how many people do it.

For a religion to be considered official, it must demonstrate a formal belief system and organisational structure. Simply writing it on a census form won't cut it.

Here in Australia, we had a similar thing during our last census. But here, we were warned by the government not to list Jedi as our religion or face a $1000 fine! Head of the census John Struik stated that:

If we get 10,000 Jedis, they will go down as no official religion

Which is a shame because I was going to pip everybody at the post and list Jedi Master instead of plain old Jedi.

Now, if we can demonstrate that our self-made religions have a specific series of beliefs and a concrete organisational structure, then maybe the government will listen. But the census just ain't gonna cut it.

Check out Snopes for the debunking of the whole Jedi census deal.

Prepares to duck avalanche of Boos and bottles

[edit on 12/9/05 by Jeremiah25]

new topics


log in