posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 07:12 AM
The BlackGuardXIII Discount Warehouse Church of the Holy Profit
Welcome, and may Spirit bless you with success in all you do.
Here at DWCHP we believe in you. Your faith is none of our business. We have faith that you know enough to make up your own mind. So be you anything
from an Animist to a Zarathustran, you are welcome here.
And if you join, you will find we have the lowest tithes, guaranteed. 20%?, no, 10%? no, 5% no, we only ask for 2.5%. And if you find lower tithes
anywhere, we will beat their rate by 5%. And what do you get for your cold, hard cash donations? You would think that we would not be able to offer
you very much for such a small sum. As an example, lets say you make $50 000 per year. At 20%, you'd be paying $10 000 every single year! Here, we
demand only $1 250.00, which works out to not much more than $100 a month. Imagine what you could do with all that extra income you’d be saving...
And this is the best part, you still receive every single intangible spiritual blessing as you would from any other Church. We guarantee, you will not
lose one single spiritual benefit. So what are you waiting for? Call today.
We accept all major credit cards, debit cards, pay pal, precious metals, and virtually any solvent national currency. Come on, what have you got to
lose? Your soul will thank you for it, and I guarantee, you won't regret it.
We have the best rates, and can offer you the very same quality and variety of intangible spiritual benefits as any other church....we'll pray for
you, sing hymns, get you to memorize certain verses, and your Soul will not miss a single blessing even though you will be saving up to 87.5% on your
tithes, compared to some of those other churches! that is a huge savings.
If you do not achieve salvation, nirvana, bodisattva, or whatever with us, you can get up to 80%* of your money back.
*limited time offer, OAC, certain conditions apply.
But wait, thats not all! Friend, if you act right now, and call our 800 number, before tomorrow, while quantities last, we will ship you, at
absolutely no extra charge, a map of the local area surrounding your BGDWCHP, that we have highlighted the nearest ATM machines, banks, and credit
unions, so when you want to get started, you won't waste one extra minute of time. We do this for you because we know how valuable your time is. So,
join today, you'll be glad you did!!!!