I have never spilt my proverbial beans on exactly *why* I got into this field as a sub of my professional career. And, why my distain for hoaxers is
what it is.
I have had "experiences" since I was as early as 5 years old. I cant recall if it was before then or not...that just when I first recall it. I have
NEVER subscribed to hypnosis, nor do I need any help in recalling. More often then not, these "experiences" were during waking hours.
I choose not to discuss them here, because it's truthfully so damned detailed and long..and I just dont have time to go experience to experience
detailing them enough to be fully understood.
My involvement in this whole UFO / alien thing has stemmed from me wanting to know what was going on with me, what I'd seen, and what my family and
friends saw with me on several occasions throughout my life.
I firmly, firmly believe the enigma itself or something else laid a path before me, and I walked it. I walked it 24/7, for over 13 years. I
interviewed hundreds of people, across all social lines, and races. I developed the first, and to my knowledge, only Experiencer support group on AOL
with the backing of it's paranormal section "Parascope". I went on skywatches everywhere, and attended UFO conferences, and lectured at some of
them. I applied my career choosen field to it as well, doing photo and video analysis. I literally was consumed with knowing "anything", I could
about the phenomena.
I became exceedingly frustrated, always seeing the dangling carrot, but not being able to get to it. It was if someone was always just out of reach.
My personal "experiences", went on, and became far more frequent as I discovered more about this whole thing, and how it applies and "works" to
me. The experiences became much for "in your face", as did the sightings of very odd things in the sky.
I recall one instance one day in 1997 in the local park with my son, my wife and me flying kites we'd bought at the beach. These kites were delta
wings and basically ya get them up and they stay up...you can lay on your back and watch. So that what I did. As I laid there lookin up at the clear
blue sky, I said very quietly "I havent seen you guys in awhile." It had been 3 weeks since I'd seen or heard anything odd.
Not more then 30 seconds, and I see a large silver ball (sound familiar?) in the sky. Not moving. Completely still. About as big as a dime at the
outstreched arm. It was large. Funny thing...when I scream back to my wife some 30 yards behind me, she cant see it. She walks up to me, and then she
sees it...said it "just appeared"...I assured her it was there all along. She takes one step left or right from me, and it's gone from her
view...but I can still see it. As I said "lets walk down Mom's and get a camera...it vanishes in thin air.
Whats that say to me? That it was meant for *me* to see. My line of sight. It hung there for 10 minutes, yet when I mention a camera, it goes. I
firmly believe it heard me.
This led me down another line of thinking. That the enigma is FAR more personally based then anything. And it's based on perception.
I personally believe that the "aliens" have no more ability to come to you, or for you to see them...then you give them. One think tank paper I read
years ago said " these beings seem to have no more ability to enter our reality then we give them, the only defense would be all out
There is far more going on with ufos and aliens then ETs, or any other label you attach to it. I believe it is much deeper. I do not believe that
there is a "hybrid" program, nor stolen fetuses, nor sperm samples taken, anal probes, and the scars that come with them...take your pick. I believe
that is all a ruse. People say they have experienced these things, and I beleive them...but, thats based on a screen memory these "aliens" impose.
No one can seem to deny (who have had actual experiences) that these beings can alter perception. So why should we believe any of the common accounts
listed above as the reality of the event?
No ladies and gents, as far as I'm concerned, theres alot more going on...all that stuff is nothing more then smoke and mirrors.
Ok then, what you ask, are "they" doing? Welp, if you look at alot of the people who've legitimately had this kinda thing happen, you find a
pattern...in both their traits as people, and the person's beliefs after such an event(s).
Make no mistake, there are alot of people claiming the experience, who are either delusional in accordance with a mental issue, or lying for personal
gain, be it monetary or for "attention". There were alot of people out there who gained all knowledge of "experiences" from hypnosis, which has
been clinically proven by several Doctors to be VERY open to suggestion and fantasy prone contamination. In other words, some "hypnotherapists" have
been very suggestive in questioning, coupled with the open media contaminating the public with "abductions". You'd be surprised how many of these
therapists are being sued for such "therapy".
But of course there are the core amount of people who are having such experiences, legitimately. Most often these people dont need regression therapy
to recall anything. And more oten then not, what they dont recall, they choose not to by any means. I have stuff I cant recall...and trust me I dont
But I'm getting off track.
What I came down to was an opportunity to speak at a conference that was held in Washington DC. "UFO Heavyweights" would be in attendance. As I
wrestled with alot of issues regarding the engima, I decided to trash it all, and review every case, again, and take another approach: rather then
nuts and bolts experiences and sightings, I'd look at the effect on the individual. UFO reports are about people...what people see, or experience. We
dont have a UFO to study...only reports...by people.
What I came down to was a set of constants:
-when people realized "alien" involvement, they became consumed with the study, nothing else mattered.
-a large contingency of them lost all spirituality (belief in any God) but in turn "aliens" took on the "creator" role.
-a very large percentage who were married, with a non-experiencer spouse, divorced that spouse. (no matter the age of the marriage)
-another large portion lived in near a constant state of fear.
-alot adopted into the "New Age" religions, and/or became stringent supporters of "space brothers" mentality, despite horrifying experiences.
-had severe impacts on normal life, sleep disturbed, going out at night, etc.
Interesting no? I thought so. Where there was no correlation in sightings or experiences (some loose connections) there was definite correlation here.
These are very broad descriptions, but get the point across...because I got alot more to go....
Some religion folks have called it "spiritual warfare". I call it (the entire UFO/alien question) a symptom. A symptom of something MUCH deeper, and
more complex then what we possibly have words to describe. The "aliens" and UFOs, are what we perceive...because we cannot "see" it any other way.
It seems to be non-linear in time, as has possibly inserted itself into our history as to make it seem as if it's always been here. Maybe, maybe
The overall turn from *any* God, no matter what kind, is highly interesting. That and other points point to some thing, trying to circumvent any
"Demons"...I said under my breath. But, how the hell (pardon the pun) was I gonna say that word to a room FULL of researchers and experiencers??
I'm not a religious guy, and I dont know how this is gonna come across, but it's the best way I know to say it. Things added up to me that whatever
"it" is, it was trying to destroy spirituality in us, and consume normal life. Obsess us with the question...when there is no answer. It is by human
definition, "demonic"...but lets not get too religious here...take it as a negative energy, a destructive force, a dangling jewel you'll never get
As Trinity said "it's the question that drives us".
But to what.
My problem remained. I had to give a lecture about this thing, and my life and interaction with it. How could I hold back from saying what I'd seemed
to find out? Or did I just say it, and literally commit UFO researcher suicide? You guys know how they slay anyone who puts forth the religious angle.
It may not be a religious thing, but it's all we have to describe it as....or with.
That night I'd had some friends over, and because our bedroom was a mess, we locked the door. My friends knew all about my experiences, so I told
them what I'd come out with after looking at all the info I'd collected or for that matter read about. I managed to convey it (probably better then
here) so they understood the "D" word. We stayed up talking about it for 7 hours...at 3am they told me good luck, and left.
The next morning with a week til the lecture, my wife and I got dressed and were getting ready to leave. My wife said "did someone else come over
last night?" "Not that I know of" I said, but I had a wierd feeling that someone came over after our company left...I just couldnt figure why I had
I forgot my cell, so I went back in the bedroom to get it off the dresser. When I looked in the mirror of the dresser, there was a symbol about 20
inches high scraped into it. I can post pic if anyone cares...but it was shaped like a hourglass, with a arrow going down thru it, and an arch above
it all. I was friggin blown away fascinated. I took the mirror off and called Dr. Mario Pazzaglini, who'd I'd seen lecture on "alien writing" a
few weeks before. He asked that I fax a drawing of the symbol to him.
"It's angelic writing" he said. "I've never seen it arranged like this, and this hasnt been a written language in eons....where did You see this
"My mirror" I said. I then asked him what it meant.
"It's not translatable like you would think...to human language, I have to go off telling you how it would be interpreted....it's a challenge" ,
"A challenge about what?" I asked.
"It essentially means NOW YOU KNOW, DO YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE?" he answered.
My f*cking feet went like ice.
I got off the phone, and looked at the mirror.
As I looked at it, I said "you bet your ass I do."
I went that next weekend to DC and delivered the lecture. I said what end I came to. I took the bullet, and waited for the worst. I got tears, and
Not what I expected. After the talk I was innundated. Questions, positive comments, more questions. Dick Hall, who for those who dont know, is the
GodFather of UFO research, and a man I respect, came up to me and said "I wanted to congratulate you on your talk". I know that probably wouldnt
mean anything to most people, but it did to me. I expected to be treated like a leper. Out of all those people...only 2 walked out of my lecture.
I wasn't asked back to the conference.
Anyhoo...ya wanna see UFO's? Go look for em. You'll find them...or will they find you.
I still dont have all the answers and I know I never will. But I know how I felt when I got into this some 20 years ago, and where I was led...and the
more I look at it, I was led by something, to come to this rather odd answer for myself. Who wrote that on my mirror? Wasnt anyone here I can say
that. That symbol has been seen nowhere else to my knowledge. I havent looked at it in over 5 years.
After the lecture, my life went upside down. Experiences continued, til one night I decided to get pissed.
Anyone legitimately having experiences will understand what I mean when I say that experiences have a "start" point....a little thing that might not
seem like much, but tells you theyre coming. You know it. You can feel it, and it's palpable. The air is different. So there I waited alone in the
living room. When I saw them, one was already in front of me.
I only got out 5 words.
"I know what you are."
Never, in all my years, have I seen these "aliens" or whatever you wanna call them show any emotion in their face. I've felt it, but not seen it.
But when I said those words, thing thing showed it's "teeth" if you can call them teeth, and squinted like I kicked him in the gnads.
Then they were gone. I have not seen them since. Nor felt them, nor had that "feeling", except for once...and it quickly left. I have seen craft
since...but no ill repercussions.
I have come to learn that if you show interest in them, they will return the favor...only they take it a step further. They will dangle another
carrot, or give you another dog and pony show. It's endless if you let it be. I often wonder if these UFO hotspots are there, just because people
show up JUST to see craft.
So, I'm telling you as a 38 year old man, as honestly and open as I can, that being so deeply invloved as to go out looking for UFOs much less
"calling" them, can destoy you life. I can only imagine what it can mean for your "soul" if there is such a thing...and I believe there is.
I've told you where it's led me to *my* truth. *My* stance, and that stance could change, but I doubt it. It took me years to get there, and a hell
of alot of money and work. You can take it for what it's worth.
I just want you "callers" out there to know what I see, however lightly I might have skimmed over it here...there's tons more, and this is only a
light skimming I give you here to make the point.
Just know what might be waiting. And even if you see it, my advice would be to tell it to "talk to the hand".