Hello all, my name is Brett.
I'm 18 and just graduated high school sunday. Woo hoo. that night my girlfriend had a look in her eye like something was wrong so i questioned her about it and now we've come to believe that we are going to have a baby. She is 19 and in college. I don't know if I'm ready for this but I know I must be. I do not want to lose her and am afraid the stress of this could split us apart. I just need some confidence guys. Help an ATS member out.

Brett

well first congrats!

You know this dont have to be a bad thing, you have to change your outlook,

Yes you are both young, but if you stick together you can work through this,

have you both told your pearents? im sure they will also help.

Your Gf is going to be scared right now and she needs you more than ever,
so be there, face up to it all, and think about this little new life your going to bring in to the world,

thats what matters now,

You will be ok, just stay strong for each other,

Hey dude, i was in the same boat not so long ago. Found out my missus was preggers when I was 20, she was 25 ( hehe, older woman ). I was scared poo-less, but now I wouldn't swap my daughter for the world and she brings me joy and happiness every time I see her!

She is now 19 months old, and although me and the missus have had our ups and downs, if you love each other then it will work out, just remember to talk to each other and share the responsibility.

stick it out and be a man, if u engauged in sex u should be prepare to have a kid. its a good child yer bringing into the world now so raise it good, and stick with the girl and show her u have what it takes to be her man, and make her proud and prove yer love to her. good luck

We've come to believe that we are going to have a baby

You have come to believe? You want to make sure that your girlfriend is having a baby. Being a guy Im not 100% sure about this but sometimes a womens cycle runs late. If your girlfriend is having a baby good luck with fatherhood.

We are still not sure. We told her mom and my dad that we might be and they were supportive but we took one of those pregnancy tests and it came back negative. I don't believe it though. Shes not late yet but she has signs that point to she is. What do you think we should do?

We have a lot to think about. Like for instance; marriage. Should we get married before or wait until after? We're both catholic so the strict old people will probably condemn us to hell but forget them. I just need advise and help with this. I'm scared and shes scared. We're just trying to help each other out but I just don't know what to do.

Weese

Originally posted by Nightwalker
We are still not sure. We told her mom and my dad that we might be and they were supportive but we took one of those pregnancy tests and it came back negative.

Weese

You both should chill for now.
The test is negative. Those tests are pretty reliable. If you want to be 100% sure, she should go see a doctor.
But my guess is, she is not pregnant.

Night, i would suggest the best thing to do would be to go to the docs,
then you can get tested and know once and for all the outcome,

About getting married, that i would think should be up to you both,
If you love each other enough and want to spend your lifes together,

I understand your religion has alot to do with it, and you parents.. but you and your girl friend have to make the choice, Follow your own hearts,

I really feel that you are scared,

But No,1 is to find out if she is pregnant first,

Period can be funny things,, and some can be very late,

But the advice i would give to you both is, make sure you always wear a condom,
Could she go on the pill?

and also remember there is the morning after pill that she could take up to 72 hours after the love making if something go;s wrong,

I think you both need to learn a little more, so you are both awear of the options available,

If you need to chat feel free to u2u me,

if ever you need somebody to talk to just u2u me,

also its not a done deal yet and if a baby is born then all you can do is stick by your baby and girlfriend.

also just be very aware of the contraception that is now available!
there are many forms of it and its most likely you will say "yes yes i know" but you have to be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of all the forms.

also your young and there are many ways of dealing with the situation. think of all the younger children with babies and not able to cope because of no surport or any thing you two are amasingly lucky that you have a family who are there to surport you.

not going to lie to you it will be tuff, because you are so young but amagin it happend when you were 14!

you will be fine and one thing go to the doctors or even a family clinic, it doesnt cost any thing and they cannot inform anyone that you have been to the doctors.

good luck and it will be fine!

oni x x

[edit on 5-6-2005 by Oni x x]

Well, if it turns out she's pregnant, I'd suggest marriage before the birth.

Why? Many practical reasons...but you'll also have to decide if you two are meant to be together... It's a pretty young age to dive into the family and marriage thing, and the statistics aren't on your side. Still, there are exceptions to every rule, and the kid deserves a chance at normality (i.e. married mom and dad, your last name, two parents, etc.).

You'll also get more assistance and acceptance with this step. It's your choice, but you asked for advice, so there it is.

Hopefully, the results are still negative, and you won't have to make that decision now. If so, in the future, consider contraceptives (yes I know you're Catholic, but celibate old men shouldn't dictate your family planning), such as the depo shot (one shot every 3 months, and you're better off than any pill/condom, etc. at least for birth control).

well i do disagree he doesnt have to get married to give his child normality. its the 21st century, you dont have to be married!

if you love her and are willing to spend the rest of your life with her then i say good for you, BUT......

your 18! your still a child! maybe just an adult in the UK but you havent experienced life. go out live your life and when your older think of a family marrige.

but if your girl friend is pregant then be with her, care for her. but i wouldnt suggest marriage,

oni x x

(also it takes a few minutes to be married, if it ever went wrong it would take forever to get out of) horrible thought of it but its true!

Go to your local GP and confirm that your girlfriend isnt having a baby. As for marriage think long and hard dont rush into a decison. Dont let some peoples idea of a utopia force you into a marriage.

exactly xpert11. dont rush anything be 100% within yourself and make sure your girlfriend feels the same, all we can do is give your opinions but you have to make the decision.

oni x x

If your GF isnt late yet, then some pregnancy tests will come up negative anyways. Be sure to read the directions as to when the test works.

Also, stress can make periods come late, so if you two are worried about her not having a period she wont get hers on time to calm you down.

Just something to keep in mind

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