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Strange childhood experiences

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posted on May, 26 2005 @ 06:05 AM
Let me start this out by stating that I DO NOT claim to be an abductee, however, I am a believer, to what extent I have yet to decide. When I was younger there was absolutely no doubt in my mind when it came to the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence of some form or another, perhaps this could be atributed to a childhood obsession with Star Trek or perhaps simply an open mind. I would often look up to the night sky as many do and wonder what sort of being was looking back. The constellation Orion had always had special meaning to me and quickly became the focus point for my late night ponderances. I grew up in Manhatten (New York City if you were wondering) and other than that my life has been turbulent to say the least but nothing much of note as far as aliens are concerned. The topic of this thread will focus around two incidents that have always stood out to me as strange and have yet to provide much by way of explanation save for the reassurances of my parents.

The first such incident took place many years ago, my exact age at the time is long gone from my memory but I'm sure it must have been between the ages of 1 and 6 years of age. I don't recall much of the circumstances surrounding it but I do remember it vividly. It was a dream, more over a nightmare, it was up to that point the most vivid dream I had yet to encounter. It took place in my parent's apartment, I was laying in the one bed we had in the two room apartment and in through the windows came a troop of small human looking things. The moment I saw them I was struck with fear, total, paralyzing fear. As they began to move around my house they seemingly paid me no mind despite my blood curdling screams and went about their business inspecting various objects, going through drawers and closets etc. I remember this feeling, that despite my screaming and struggling I hoped they wouldn't notice me and would simply leave. I don't remember much else save for eventually waking up crying like the baby I literally was at the time.

I want to note that at the time of this nightmare I was sick and suffering from a fever, the severity of which is unknown to me now. I had always attributed this nightmare to the fever as my mother had told me and would have written it off as simply that if it weren't for one fact. Never in my life have I felt that complete imobilizing terror, not before and never since. The fear was coupled with a pervasive feeling of invasion and loneliness, that there was nothing anyone could do to stop these things and if they wished me ill there was little anyone would be able to do. I felt that even though my mother was in the apartment that she could not help me no matter how loud I cried out for her.

In addition, that was my one and only "nightmare". Granted I have had bad dreams, dreams of my girlfriend cheating on me, or a relative dying, but they have always been grounded in reality. The dreams that haunt me have always reflected a possible outcome to my current reality and have rarely veered off course into the extra ordinary. Never have they taken form in such inexplicably terrifying ways. I have even had long periods of time when the only dreams I had could be termed by others as "bad" or "nightmarish" and have always been unphased by them. Never once since that time have I felt total terror in a dream, I admit I have felt abstract fear but I could always explain it when I awoke and often times would be aware I was dreaming when it happened. I suppose that is all I need say about the dream for now, if someone might have questions I can further elaborate to the best of my ability.

The second incident of note took place in the summer of either my 5th or 6th grade year. My middle school at the time took a yearly trip to some generic scholastic point of interest and had this year decided on taking us to camp. It was an educational camp mind you, so it was hardly all that fun. The camp was located in upstate New York not far from the city, though the exact location and distance is unkown to me at this point. My stay there had little of note save for typical hooliganisms of that age. The meat of this story is contained in one night.

My bed at the camp was located right below the window, out which i could see little more than trees and grass. After a typcial day at camp I returned to my bed and had little trouble falling asleep. I distinctly remember not dreaming, which may seem of little improt except the fact that I remember NOT dreaming. I don't know the time at which this took place but at some point in my slumber somthing happened. It's hard to explain but it's as if someone had turned on all the lights with a dimmer switch and aimed them at my eyes. My eyes were closed but the light was bright enough that i could tell it was white, it went from dark to bright smoothly, gradually, but fairly quickly. It seemed all encompassing. It didn't wake me up, I only remember being conscious of it even though I was still asleep. The next thing I remember is it being morning, and I'm trying to explain it to the councellor that woke us all up. I had at first attributed it to the morning light spilling in through the window I slept under as the sun came up except it had happened too fast and was far too bright to be dawn. I had settled on the explanantion that it was the morning sun rising, but my sleeping state made the time distorted and it had felt like it was much quicker. This had never struck me as true though, it was simply an explaination I had created to deal with an unkown.

Perhaps that is all I need say on those two incidents, admitedly they aren't much compared to the outlandish stories of intergalactic joyrides and such but I can promise you they are honest stories. At the risk of boring my audience to death I'll give a little background on myself to those who may be interested. As I have said I was born and more or less raised in the heart of New York City, I attended school there until high school at which point I went to a boarding school in Literally No Where New York. As a child I rarely had friends and had trouble relating and communicating with other children my age. I never reacted the way other children did, I was never interested in the same persuits and always had trouble understanding them. I had always had an over whelming feeling of not belonging, even to my own family. Many may see this posting as an attempt for attention but I assure you I have remdied my solitary situations. I had been given up on by the less than stellar educational system when my reading wasn't progressing as was other children's and had been stuck in the back of the classroom to fend for myself. I occupied my time teaching myself to read and write and quickly surpassed my fellow classmates. When other children were reading the Hardy Boys I was busy with Gaston Lereaux and quickly progressed to Formal Logic and The ABCs of Relativity.

Despite my reading abilities I had trouble understanding the people around me. I have always thought in abstracts and often find myself at a loss to explain an idea or concept I had. This led to me finding my passion in art, I hungrily consumed everything i could get my hands on regarding the classical masters, a passtime I enjoy to this day. Art has at times been my only means of conveying an emotion or thought to other people but i have never failed in that persuit. It was due to this that I discovered I have a photgraphic memory, though I am reluctant to use the term not knowing the exact deffinition. When I remember a word I remember the way it looks on a page, when I need to remember what page i was on in a book I remember the way the page looks. I could study for exams simpley by staring at the page long enough and then recalling the image later. I never struggled academically, in fact my grades rarely dropped below the 90s although I was unaware of my intelligence at the time having never needed to study or take notes. However, I very often got into trouble at school. A good portion of those cases involved me arguing with the teacher over erronious facts which quickly got me black listed as a "trouble maker".

If you are still reading at this point I'd like to thank you, it was not my intention to tell my life story but I often find myself writting more than I planned. The main purpose in this thread is to perhaps shed some light on these instances I mentioned and maybe find some answers as to my problems growing up. Opinions are welcome and questions are encouraged. I am positive there are things I have not said but in the interest of time I will save them for another post. I wrote this after spending countless hours surfing around ATS and have read many posts by members I believe to understand how I feel. Again I'd like to say I am not an "abductee", rather I am a skeptical believer. Skeptical in the truest sense of the word, I seek the facts and am willing to keep an open mind until the facts tell me otherwise.

To end this I'd like to say thank you and I am willing to answer any and all questions. I will not call you a nut no matter how far out what you say may be, we're both here to seek the truth. Perhaps nothing out of the ordinary has happened to me but after some logical postulation I figured I might as well bring these things to light. I will take the time to read all posts if you take the time to write them.

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 07:24 AM
Yeah, when your young there are a ton of experiences we go through that are strange, most of it is attributed to the high levels of a chemical in the brain that triggers hallucinations.

Most people forget, but some like you and me, remember them. When you have an open mind they stay around, some people experience more, some less.

I can tell you a TON of experiences like you had when I was younger and even now, and I don't want to come off mean, but I'm sure a lot of people on this forum have also gone through similar stuff and may feel you as exagerrating. BUT!!!! Sorry.. May not be true. You registered before me, you may know. All I can say is I can relate to you in a TON of ways.

Anyways, your a good writer. Also, The most important thing you said was "An explanation given to the unknown." I'm a supporter of that saying that, not many on this board are.

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 07:52 AM
I agree with you, childhood is an often traumatic time in our lives. However I promise you I'm not exaggerating, rather I think think my thread is mundane compared to others that describe intergalactic war and psychic channeling of interdimensional aliens, however, everything I have said is true. While it is sometimes hard to sort out the certifiables from the sincere people here on ATS I have read quite a few posts, the sum of which led me to see what fellow ATSers thought of these experiences.

Perhaps you don't have as much experience on this board as others but that is of no import, I assure you that if you read enough of the information on this board you will begin to question even the most insignificant things.

Then again, I'd hardly be reluctant to accept the fact that I've led an interesting all be it earthly life. I never claimed to have been abducted, I didn't call the creatures in my dreams aliens, I was simply interested in seeing what people who do claim to have been abducted have to say regarding these instances.

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 07:56 AM

What great care you took in telling your experiences and writing this post. I want to give you a great reply and wish I had a lot more to say about it, but that may come later.

The two experiences you describe may suggest something, but I would need to see more signs of it somewhere through the rest of your life before I would sway affirmatively to anything. In fact, you come across as so aware and articulate, and you readily admit your interest, that if these two are all you recall of such indications of an alien presence in your life, the larger absence is a stronger suggestion of none. You seem to be clearly alert and independently intelligent, and I don't think it could get by you unless it was being kept from you, which is entirely possible.

Your interest from a young age, the conscious presence you recall the earlier event with, and your sense of not belonging while growing up are all indications of some affiliation, but by themselves they they don't say enough. You may be a GREAT alien experiencer, and not yet meant to be physically aware of it. But if so, inside you know, and things will start happening right on time.

How old are you? Are you married? Do you have any children?

Have you ever had any kind of a spiritual or psychic experience?

Has anybody in your family had any kind of sighting, or dreams of alien life, spiritual/psychic experiences?

What do you think about God?

[edit on 5/26/2005 by EarthSister]

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 08:56 AM

These are two of the most vivid experiences and the two most directly relating to the traditional notion of alien contact. Perhaps I should better explain my feeling of not belonging. It is far from unusual for a child to feel as though he doesn't fit in, however, this feeling has always run deeper than that. It has always been an intense longing to be amongst the stars, deeper than the natural human lust for exploration. When I gazed up at the stars I felt as if my home was out there somewhere, I have always felt love for my family but I always felt as if I didn't belong with them. The words seem to fail me to acurately describe this emotion but I would equate it to a lone wolf, howling at the moon for the loss of it's pack. When I was younger there was no doubt in my mind that I would be back, up there, where I belong. It wasn't until about the age of 13 or 14 that I had convinced myself I would never leave this planet. Since that time I have struggled greatly with depression but found art to be a wonderful savior.

To answer your questions"

I am 22 years of age, I have not been married and do not plan on marrying for at least a few more years. In addition I do not plan on having children for years to come and would not desire a child until I have the means to give the child everything it deserves.

I have had myriad odd experiences some would term psychic, though I hesitate to use the term due to the stigma attached to it. My brother and I share a special bond, we seem to be able to communicate without speaking. It is not as many would believe psychic communication to be, we do not speak in sentences inside eachother's brains. We simply already know what the other one is thinking no matter what the occasion. Granted that seems a poor example but we have at times been able to communicate in what many would consider traditional psychic means. In addition I can often tell the outcome of a given evernt before it happens, though it comes more as a "gut feeling" than a vivid image of what will transpire. The feeling is undeniable however, and rarely wrong. Ever since I can remember I have always felt as though there were another conciousness with in me. I do not hear voices mind you, rather it is paramount to talking to someone you have yet to meet through a messaging service such as aim. There is no real personality, no voice in the physical sense, but it will communicate with me in full sentences. It will even interupt my thought processes but has always helped to guide me to the correct decision, be it a moral dilema, a philosophical issue, or a broken machine.

As for spiritual experiences I have studied and attended services in many of the world's major religions. When I was younger I would medidate in a Buddhist zazen style almost everynight. Though at the time I knew nothing of buddhism or of meditation, it was the only way I was able to fall asleep. I could clear my mind completely and almost hypnotize myself to sleep.

I remember a story of one of my relatives having seen a UFO though I had heard the story so long ago their identity escapes me. My father had been in the special forces for 14 years and spent a large portion of that time on classified missions in Vietnam, Spain and Germany. He later worked for the CIA, though for how long I have no idea. He said he was just a security guard and I am personally inclined to believe him, but on the other hand it is the CIA we're talking about.

I do not believe in God in the traditional sense. I believe the classical notion of an omnipresent judeo-christian deity obsessed with the machinations of man to be antiquated given how much we know of the universe. I suppose I could write a whole book on what I believe "God" to be but I am still struggling to understand my concept of that topic. Perhaps my belief in God could be called cosmic animism, I don't believe god to be person, an all knowing deity who reigns in the heavens above. Rather I believe God is Everything. The accumulation of all things in existance, from the smallest quark to the largest star, all things gone and all thigns to come. God to me is existence, and the fact that absolutely everything has been created for a purpose. A purpose which has nothing to do with itself, just as a bee does not realize it is there to fertilize the flowers so are we just notes in the cosmic symphony. Perhaps that did not answer your quesstion as well as you would have liked, but I promise you the day I find the words to describe it I'll let you know.

I hope my responses were not too verbose.

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 11:19 AM
All I meant by what I said is, your childhood experiences did not seem to me that strange.

Oh, and people who describe intergalatic wars and such..
I wouldn't belive them.

Anyways, Since your discussing this, I'd like to ask you, have you ever suddenly disbelived in everything? Like a sudden feeling over you that just stops your conciousness. The words in your head keep repeating "Is this really real?" and you lose control of your body and sort of float inside your head.

This may sound really weird but it's always happened to me, usually people on this kind of board can understand what I am saying. It can happen anytime.

Anyways, this seemed like the right post to post it in, tsince your talking about this. Not sure what it has to do with aliens, heh.. but it could.

As for this feelings you can't describe/explain.. have you ever had feelings for places? Like a place gives off a feeling, indescribeble? Like the place is a feeling...........

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 11:27 AM

Originally posted by Ksnazdnzon
Yeah, when your young there are a ton of experiences we go through that are strange, most of it is attributed to the high levels of a chemical in the brain that triggers hallucinations.

Really? Children tend to have high levels of chemicals in the brain so they tend to be more susceptible to hallucinations? I don't remember suffering from hallucinations of any sort when I was a child. Do you have any further information you can provide on this? This is the first time I've heard of this.

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 11:29 AM
Okay, I will.
A little later I'll get the infomation, I'm sure others have heard of this.

And I'm sure you've hallucinated in some way when you were young, like seeing Santa or the Easter Bunny or something.

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 11:34 AM

Originally posted by Ksnazdnzon
Okay, I will.
A little later I'll get the infomation, I'm sure others have heard of this.

And I'm sure you've hallucinated in some way when you were young, like seeing Santa or the Easter Bunny or something.

I hope I didn't come off as an ass in my first post. Im really interested in this since it's something I've never heard before. And yes I have had some strange experiences growing up, but I wouldn't exactly call them "hallucinations"

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 06:35 PM

Perhaps my experiences do not seem all that strange to you, however, in the context of the rest of my life they seem fairly strange to me. Maybe we have shared some sort of experience we both don't recall. In answer to your question I believe I have felt the sense that things were not real. Reality is simply what we percieve, a rose is red because our eyes see the color and we have termed it "red". We live in four dimensions, three of depth and one of time, we are unable to percieve other possible dimensions. Our reality is simply the extent of our scientific knowledge, as science progresses so does our notion of reality. More over I am of the opinion that our reality is what we make of it, to some angels are as real as a New York strip steak, while to others it is simply bunk. Who is to say what is real and what is not?

There have been extended periods of time when I found my self under an extreme amount of stress. Times when I have feared for my safety and sanity, it was during these times that I experienced what many may term paranoid dellusions. I felt as if everyone I knew was plotting against me, I could swear, in all honesty, that I was able to hear people talking about me. However, I wouldn't deem this as halliucinatory due to the fact that my feelings proved true on many occasions. That is the extent of my sober hallucinations, but I will assure you I did not spend my teenage years stone cold sober.

As for equating a feeling with a place I believe I understand what you are asking but feel free to correct me if I am in error. There have been times in my life when I felt an intense feeling regarding a certain location, these emotions were clearly exteroir and often coupled with a feeling of presence other than myself or those around me. One instance was at the Gettysburg battlefield, at the very second I cleared the tree line and entered the battlefield I almost dropped to my knees, overwhelmed by the feeling of presence, suffering, and longing. A similar experience was at Ground Zero, though I have spent most of my life in Manahatten I had no desire to visit that location for exactly that reason. Perhaps these seem rather ordinary, however, there are stranger incidents. One such occurrence took place in a museum, I had simply walked by a painting and glanced at it in passing, instantly I could smell, hear and eevn taste the beach. I assure it was not my imagination, I would have believed it a breeze coming in throught he window if not for the fact that I was in the middle of New York City with no windows in sight. In addition I have had experiences equated with objects, one such object was a gold coin recovered from an old ship wreck. I held it in my hand and immediatly saw the goldsmith's shop, the stamp, the hammer, the fire. I knew how the coin was made before I was told.

Perhaps my experiences seem far from extraordinary and I would like nothing more than to relay to you more possibly relevant experiences. However I find myself at a loss as to what to convey, which is why I requested questions from the readers of this post. I have always felt different, and I decided I would like to find out whether it is egotism or possibly somthing else.

posted on May, 26 2005 @ 07:28 PM

I can't say that you are an alien experiencer. So don't assume it from what I say now.

But the things you describe and the way you describe them are very close to how it's always been for me. Because of my spiritual experiences from my earliest memory, I always knew there was more to God and nature than what my religion was teaching me, and that my religion was teaching me things that are not true, and that religion is not God. I had the sensation that God is natural and can't be manufactured or sold or dictated by any person, and that God is everywhere regardless of any fault of anybody on Earth. You don't need to know alien people to experience this kind of spiritual awareness.

I didn't know that many of the strange things, psychic and spiritual- meaning natural, that happened to me all my life had anything to do with people from other worlds. Not all of them did, and some I had known were of spirits of people I knew who had died, and of people I knew who were alive, and some were divine life- angels, some were strictly my own abilities and my own spirit talking to myself and showing me future events, and many were of things I knew were real, but not what or who they were. These things happened enough to be normal to me, but not to take over my sense of normal life, and I knew a few other people who some of these things happened also. So I was all right with it and tried to use it to my advantage as a warning system, and watched for opportunities to take messages to help myself and others in our daily lives.

My husband Jack was also experiencing these things all his life, but not to the degree that I was, or maybe he was just not paying as much attention, which is what I think. The day arrived for Jack and I to meet our alien contacts physically, and suddenly crazy, incredible things started happening day and night, but because of what we had already experienced all our lives, as strange everything that started happening was, we could see that the alien beings were just more people to have those familiar experiences with, only now to a much greater, further advanced level, more on their level, and this understanding wove their continuous presence into our whole lives in retrospect. This eventually gave us a saving sense of security that they had always known us and visited us, and knew what they were doing with us. But at first we were so "flabbergasted" and kind of in shock for a couple of weeks, that no calm understanding could eek through right away. Once we calmed down and started to get used to the aliens and the way they pop and zoom and flash in and out, and the way they look! and the way they communicate and meet us in other states of consciousness- everything started to make sense, especially about all of our previous psychic and spiritual experiences, and our natural abilities to have them. What helped us stay lucid and stable the most is that I wrote every single thing down as it happened.

For me, after physically meeting my alien contacts- my original family and oldest "long lost" friends, my feelings of longing did not subside, but intensified to a barely tolerable level and stuck on high that way for months. Jack did not seem to suffer as much with this as I did, or maybe he hid it. I could never describe it, and it seemed to take forever to subside. I felt I met my soul face to face and I was mortified with myself in front of it. I felt that the aliens and what they were doing here were the meaning of my own existence as well, and my meaning and connection to life. But these feelings I had toward the aliens- "about" the aliens- feelings that so completely overpowered my body and mind, were all about me discovering myself. I felt such a deep, giddy, indescribable LOVE bursting inside of myself, so I was surprised and shocked and horrified to find the aliens so ugly and scary. I thought they should be so beautiful- and now I know, of course, we are all beautiful, and equally shockingly ugly to each other race to race. Anyway, pretty is as pretty does and if so, then we humans take the cake on ugly.

Jack and I work together with alien life, specifically with the leaders of the organization of visiting races, and that's the way it was meant to be. We are part of our alien contacts as friends and family by soul, and their efforts are our efforts. The same as we came here for this, Jack and I were meant to be together. Neither of us could do what we do progressively without the other. Please don't think I'm being cheesy, because once a person discovers this about himself, he can look up from himself, out of his eyes at our world and the Universe and see that it is true for every single being- we all have a purpose and a destiny and a mission whether we ever physically realize we are working on it or not. We all have a divine purpose to our creation with no-matter-who or whatever race of people our spiritual origination is. We are all different race to race, and all the same kind as people. Every world is alien to every other. We share the same space of the Universe world to world like we humans share the space of our world country to country. Advanced races share a lot better then we do yet, though.

I don't know if you have alien contact, but it is plain to me that you are a deeply spiritual man with great insight and ability. And I know you have a spiritual mission to your life. If you are to work with alien life, then that is a small part your entire destiny. If you will work with alien life, you are already on your way. I did not meet my alien contacts until I was 28, married with my life partner, and raising our five kids. It happened at the most carefully planned, opportunistic time that Jack and I could handle best, when we had support from each other for it, and could understand it and progress with it together.

For you and for anybody who wants to work with alien life, you want your physical contact to happen at the exact time it's supposed to happen. It is abundantly hard enough to overcome the constant initial stress of having alien beings around you under the best conditions, and if you continue, there will be a endless tide of residual difficulties with your family and community to accept. Most people never pass go with their alien contact. But once you pass go and get to know the aliens personally yourself as the individual people they are, you will see them like I see them. They are our closest neighbors, and make the most awesome team of "the" professionals of their entire races- scientists, explorers, diplomats, spiritual teachers- now all working together here to build a diplomatic relationship with our world and help our race take our place among our local group of worlds.

Everybody can help in some way whether they are a personal alien experiencer or not. Advancing our race and uniting our worlds is a spiritual effort as well as a physical effort, and we are ALL body and spirit- nobody is excluded. This is OUR world, and OUR humanity, and our evolution belongs to every single human being ever part of it, past present and future. As you can see, there is an awful lot of work to do. Please sign up and bring your own shovel.

(Jack told me to write that last part.)

[edit on 5/26/2005 by EarthSister]

posted on May, 31 2005 @ 02:41 PM
I'd like to begin this post by apologizing if it seems I have let this thread sink beneath the teeming masses of daily posts but I was called away on personal, earthly business for the weekend.


Thank you for your carefully crafted response, if only all posters put in the same time and effort as you have. Your story and experiences are intriguing and I would be interested to hear more at some point in time. The way you have described yor inability to place an explaination on the odd things you have experienced is very familiar to me. At a young age I was intruiged by stories of the supernatural, tales of ghosts and spirits, of ESP and telekenesis, and never once doubted the validity of their existence. I am happy to say I have grown wiser and slightly more skeptical but have not lost my belief in their existence. There have been unexplained incidents in my life, both recent and long past, that i have attributed to ethereal forces seperate from what would be considered extraterrestrial. Though I'd like to state that my catagorization of said incidents were based on my natural human ignorance on such subjects.

Unlike you, my experiences up to this point have been relatively solitary. Having grown up in a city with such an illustrious, and at times violent, history as New York City my brother and I had decided to go ghost hunting (for lack of a better term). We decide to cut our quest short after our second experience. The first experience consisted of investigating a known haunted area at the rear of one of the oldest buildings in our area. The building is better known as the location of John Lennon's untimely demise. Located directly opposite of that tragic incident is a gate known as "The Undertaker's Gate" and was the entrance through which recently deceased resident were taken to an awaiting mortuary carriage. Nothing much of note had happened until we reviewed the film and noticed a signifacant form known in ghost hunting circles as "Ectoplasm", note that it was not "spirit orbs" but fully formed smoke like plasma. I am still in possession of the photo in question. The second such occurence concerns the story of a pirate who was hung in an old square, now the location of an old multi level apartment. The pirate had sworn revenge prior to his death and had exacted his revenge on multiple residents of that building by throwing them to their death down a flight of stairs. Upon calling the pirate's supposed name and asking him to manifest himself for our pictures my brother and I were both struck with vertigo. It was a sudden, undeniable dizzyness which we both felt at precisely the same time and had agreed would make navigating such a steep stairwell dangerous to say the least.

I digress, but those were just two instances of what I would term spiritual or ghostly experiences. As you have described, such occurences had eventually seemed commonplace and at certain times desired. When I was younger I would react much as you would expect, fear, unexplained paranoia, insecurity but now they serve simply as unexplained occurences. I believe I am much the way you describe your husband. I had written off my younger notions as the imagination of a child and have often brought my sanity into question. I am of the opinion that sanity is simply a comparison to the majority and any deviation from such is considered insane. However that revelation has done little to help soldify my belief in the actuality of my involvment with extraterrestrial forces. I used the current ideology of psychology and child development to explain away the feelings of seperation from my race and planet and attributed it to a rather unhappy childhood.

However, upon further retrospection I believe little of what psychologists and sociologists say in regards to such occurences and feelings. It is without ego and with little sadness that I declare myself different from the majority and have come to believe that humans will label somthing truth simpley from a lack of contrary argument and to shield themselves from the fear of the un-known. The mysteries of the human mind and spirit are as myriad as the celestrial mysteries of the stars and one who proclaims to know the secrets is no more truthfull than one who proclaims to have been to other planets. It could be a lie, but more than likely we will never know for sure. It is by the acceptance of our level of ignorance that we better find the answers we seek and there in lies the purpose of this thread. All percieved truth should be brought into question lest we run the risk of living a life of blind ignorance, content in the falsehood that we know what is going on around us. I believe that in an absence of evidence the most logical theory can be formulated through a comingling of opposing extremes thereby arriving at a sensible expalnation encompassing aspects of both possibilties, and to formulate a hypothesis using only one extreme would lead to a bias and possibly misleading theory. Given a slight suspension of disbelief it is easy to arrive at the possibilty that so called "experts" of our physical existence are sadly mistaken.

I have yet to experience a physical encounter with beings not of this world, and to be completely honest, I am still not sure I would desire it. Despite the ramifications of such an event little would change in my life, I would still need to go to work, feed my family, and treat my fellow terrans as I would have them treat me. Granted, such an encounter would be humbling to say the least and possibly make my earthly obligations seem rather mundane, however, were I "destined" to have such an experience I would accept it without opposition. I can, however, say with full confidence that such an experience would prove the explaination for my feelings growing up and forever change my perspective on life, both personally and in the general term.

I am equally open to all possibilities, and attribute equal wheight to both sides of the argument. I suppose, as with most of life's great mysteries, only the future holds the answers we seek and we must wait patiently without neglecting our obligations. Were I to meet with entities not of this world and told of my duty in this current existence I would accept it without rebellion and attempt to succeed at my given occuption to the best of my ability. I can say with full confidence that were I to encounter such beings and told of my involvment and my position I would feel much the same as you have. I have had revelations in my life that produced emotions and reactions much as you have described and I trust this would be no different

I would like to thank you for you interest in my thread and for the care and effort you put into your replies. I consider you to be an important aspect in my personal search for the truth and would never regard your responses with scorn or citicism. I apologize if this post seems to diverge too greatly from what you had hoped to find in my response but I find myself at a loss to adequetly reply due to my lack of a (remembered) personal encounter. I can promise you that your post reads as if it is possibly from my future and I would not consider the possibilty of experiencing a situaiton much as you have out of the realm of possibilities. As I have stated if you wish to ask any questions, in regards to this topic or any of interest to you or any other reader I will answer all to the best of my ability.

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