All i ask is for people to have a look at what ive wrote and give an honest opinion?
the bashing and the ridicule ive learnt to live with and come to expect.!
It was 1978, summer and around 8pm me and 3 mates had just painted our initials about 3 inches high) on the side of a pub wall called the star in east
london u.k., i know its vandelism but im being honest here.
The walk home was very short maybe 10 mins or so we all lived relatively close to each other, we started to walk up the slight hill in the road with
train lines running on the left and a community center on the right, the main road running left and right at the end.
Ahead of us was the main road with a high wall stright ahead as this was like a bridge because the train lines went underneath, on top of the wall
there were some ( 1or 2) advertising billboards, if you got on top of the wall and looked down the train lines went directly underneath but to the
left of them was a graveyard, to the left of the graveyard were shops and the backs of houses.
well as we started the walk up towards the main road we were looking straight ahead over the billboards when we all noticed two very bright and what
i can only say from my experience as a kid 'large' lights just what seemd to be just standing mid air over the billboards/graveyard/trainlines,
they were still a distance away from us and again as a kid could not really give any sort of distance or height or even size to them, but we all
thought 'bloody hell what are they? aint they big? that type of thing.
the next thing, as kids, was to have a better look and our idea was to run up to the main road ,jump on the wall over the train lines and getter
better look, at what we didnt know?
We all started to run towards the main road and the wall, before we got to the top something strange happened! a third light this one not nearly as
big as the other 2 slowly began to appear as if comming from the behind the billboards around the graveyard/trainlines would be, slowly rising up to
the other 2 as if to meet it, then when all 3 of the lights were together (by this i mean withing a close distance to each other) they just went off ,
not speeding , not overly slow, but just normal......end of !!!!
It had us all talking about it for days on end , and the usual kid stuff come out '''oh the ufo's are nicking bodies from the graveyard' all that
and more , but none of us had a clue what we had seen (if anything).
I know if i saw the same thing today my first reaction would be oh its planes from London City Airport, but in 1978 it wasnt built, could it have been
commercial helicopters? air-ambulance? were they about then? i really dont know.
My parents decide to move to the coast i decide to move into my nans, nothing happens for many yrs, and decide that my life is going nowhere and
decide to go to my parents and help them in their business on the coast, my sister is living with them also and her boyfriend, i share a room with him
and on many occassions he tells me in the morning, what was going on with you last night you were fighting someone ''in your sleep'', i had many
sratches on my body and face , these were by no means deep and very bad they were more like 'cat scratches', which i put down (at the time) to a
bracelet that i wore, which was very small and thin.
nothing more was thought about it ....until....
Fast forward ourselves to around 1995/6 im now married with children and have 3 reasonably succesfull businesses, still living in east london/essex
and only about 4 or so miles from where i was in '78, got a comfortable life , everything is ok.
i wake up one morning and immediatly ask my wife to check the back of my head/neck.
why she asks? and i tell her, she falls abouts in fits of laughter.
Now i am 100% sure that i have been abducted during my sleep, she is 100% sure that i have had a very bad but realistic dream, maybe because my dreams
are very real at times i have very complicated dreams (very rare is it that i have nightmares, even to this day), so as you can imagine when friends
and family find out it becomes a big thing and the ideal thing to say at a get together , bring up about when you were abducted, you know the little
green men hahahahaha.
at first this used to really annoy me but at no time was i ever embarrased about it and i would openly talk to anyone that wanted to know, but i would
never try and initiate the subject.
So i will tell you about the dream/abuction.
i will call it a dream for the sake of it, in the dream im being led on a white floor with a person/being either side of me , my face is towards the
floor, i cannot look up but im not being forced to look down , nothing is being said to me im not hearing things in my head etc (telepathy).
We go into what i can only describe as another room? which has loads of people (humans) sitting down at desks with for want of a better word laptops
in front of them, again looking towards the floor, and not being forced to look there , but this time as we pass some of the people i move my eyes to
try to look at them i cannot see their faces yet only the back of their heads.
(you know when you were at school and you had all the desks laid out in rows, and the teacher would walk up and down , thats how it was ), i was being
walked through the rows aand as i got to each of the people sitting there if i looked at the laptops screen i would see their faces (ie mirror like),
i knew some of them but didnt if you know what i mean the face was of someone i know but could not put a name to it, there was no talking or anything
Its hard to describe the feeling i had at this time and the sense of the surroundings but if you imagine the camcorder and you are looking through
the lens , the camcorder is pointing towards the floor with your eye on it , you are aware of everything else around you but are focused on whats
going through the lens.
Again being led past the rows of desks and people iam led (but not forced in any way) towards a light in the middle of a room (im not very good at
describing this but i have drawings if anyone is interested). the light is lighting up this very long mechanical arm susspended from above, on the
bottom of the arm is a flat surface there are two people/beings with their backs to me sitting around the flat surface.
As i get nearer to them it is if im being given the 'o.k.' to look up and i see what looks like a group of people/beings sitting around a semi
circle of plastic steps/seats (i say plastic ,because whatever it is that they are sitting on is see-thru and looks plastic), i have a sense that the
higher up in the seating you are the more 'powerful' you are , this is only what is going through my mind im not being told this, there are about
five rows of seats either side and about 20 people/beings each side.
I cannot make out what they look like but i know that they are there, but for some reason ,again making up my own mind is that they look human but a
very light brown/caramel colour, the best way i can describe it it, if you remember planet of the apes there was one ape in there who had a white
beard an older one , he was the same colour and for some reason i just cannot get this colour out of my head.
Now i know that this is sounding very far fetched and film like but im really describing something that has a major effect on me and my life, so
please bear with me .....
Im led to the flat surface and put on it , God its shiney very shiney like metal, i have a robe (which im only now aware of wearing ) being taken off
of me , and told to lay down on the flat surface (this time im told but its not spoken to me ), the shiney metal like surface is not cold at all , i
lay on my front , and my face goes into what i will describe as a massage table with a hole to fit your head into.
I am aware of the two people/beigns behind who are gently hold my head in place, although im not trying to get out of it, it is if im totaly
co-operating and dont feel any ill-feeling at all.
Im then aware of an awfull sound , God its horrible, think to myself i wish they would pick the chairs up insted of scrapping them along?
What i think is all the people sitting by their desks are scrapping their chairs along a wooden floor to get a better look,is in fact the sound of a
drill that is going into the back of my head, but its a horrible sound , there is no pain what-so-ever, there is only one smell that has stuck with me
it is similar to a hospital smell the cleanleness, the sharpeness of everything, do you know what i mean?
now in my mind i know what is going on , i want to get up and try to lift my head but am forced back down , but its not a hard force just a gently one
its from one of the two people/beings behind me .
BANG ...i wake up and thats where we started.
As ive said before i had a good life , comfortable, i was so sure that i was abducted that i even went as far to open a shop, dealing in UFO AND
Alien merchandise, now beileve me this was not my normal business stratedgy.
A) i didnt know anything about this subject.
B) it wasnt really something that as a business was going to fly of the handle and make me a millionaire.
C)there was and still is a stigma attached to owners of these type of businesses, (the old ..oh here comes the trekies/aliens/MIB) syndrome, my wife
was not at all happy with it ,
so i lied to her and told her it was a loan for a freind to start his shop up and i was a silent partner...huh i dont think she believed me, but i had
the money , and we didnt want for anything, so there i went.....
During the time i had the shop ..yes i was obssesed, i was on a crusade , i wanted to find out ...was it a dream ? was it real?
i had three other experiences or dreams whatever you like to call them
The first was just a very short memory of being at the front of a craft (bloody hell this sounds so stupid) and being with someone dont know who ,dont
know if they were human? but being able to look out of the window? at the front as we were going along, we both of us are aware of the jets that are
whizzing past us (they are military jets) i look out of the window and as if this jet has just stopped in mid air i look right into the eyes of the
pilot, he has a breathing apparatus on covering all but his eyes, i remember thinking to myself he looks like a pig not because he was ugly but
because the breathing apparatus was turned up like a pigs nose, this was just my thought at that time ...i looked straight into his eyes and his eyes
were so wide and as if in disbelife at something not at the fact the he was looking at a craft but disbelief in seeing me standing there , like i
shouldnt be there? thats what is seemed like?
i immediatly said to the other person/being they can see us! and as is he said to me (but not spoken) press that a button, i dont know what it looked
like or what it felt like but i pushed it and the words ''not now they cant'' were said by him/it.
BANG ...i wake up
the second time was the only time i have every been able to say i saw an 'alien' mmm yeah i know what you are all thinking, 'a grey' just sitting
on the end of my bed just as if to say you comming?, nothing was said nothing was done, very dream like i know, just strange.
The third time, again a short memory of a dream or what i dunno,
But i remember a very loud buzzing noise getting louder and louder im lying in what i will call a 'pod' for want of a better word its the purest
white you can imagine, i say 'pod' because it was like i was incased in something the shape was like a big jet engine on the side of a plane, that
type of shape.
the noise was getting louder i was in the pod with someone or something i dont and for some reason i wasnt happy about the whole situation.
The last thing i remember is trying to wriggle free from something and shout out ''''IF THIS IS WHAT YOURE GOING TO DO ..I DONT WANT TO COME
BANG...i wake up ....this was the last time ive ever had any type of 'dream' like that!
Well as you can imagine the shop didnt do very well and after a year and a half i closed it down, my other businesses were still doing well but had
suffered some what due to my obssesion with the shop, and it was now time to get things back on track.
Fast forward a few yrs ive lost my businesses and doing a few bits and peices and decide to get a job with a friend one morning at work i dont feel
well, i pass out and wake up later that day in THE ROYAL LONDON HOSPTAL it seems i have had suffered an epileptic fit.
I have never had this before and from what the doctors have told me evryone is allowed one epileptic fit in their life , maybe due to stress or shock,
so no more was thought about it, i was discharged from RLH a couple of days later and was going to a hospital nearer my home for follow-ups.
I went there as arranged on a few occassions to have some tests done, one of these tests showed i was a heavy drinker???? WTF i dont drink at all, i
mean that!! i smoke heavily but DO NOT DRINK?,
So we was not getting anywhere with finding the cause to the seizure (fit) so they decided i should go for an MRI brain scan at St Barts in london.
I went there had the scan and all was done but was till awaiting the results from the scan this went on for ages , months, then one day i came home
from work and my wife's in tears, she says' the hospital have called you have to go back to the RLH tommorow they want to see you?''
The doctor at my hospital where i had my follow-ups had rung our house to tell her this but he has also told her that i have a brain tumor, now come
on i would have told my wife myself anyway but surely i should be the first to know ...? shouldnt i?
Now as you can imagine within that split second i have the world on my shoulders , all sorts of things are going through my mind....why do they want
to see me so quick? why was i not told first? why had my hospital rung up and not the RLH? why? why ?
am i going to die? F***k this was bad!!!
My wife and i get to the RLH at 9.00 the next day and the nurse or specialist explains all to us ....pheeeeewwww its not as bad as i think... yeah i
still have a tumor but it isnt cancerous, the reason i was to be seen so quickly was the epilepsy surgery only operated on that day (i dont mean for
an operation), so after a long talk with the neurologist and the specialist they decide the best course of action is to leave it , i have only had one
fit , nothing prior, its not made my quality of life go down at all, and the epilepsy is being caused by the tumor , so they can control the epilepsy
with tablets? job done?
This was four yrs ago... i have twice yearly MRI scans , the tumor hasnt grown and there is no bruising around it so all is ok. i have regular check
ups at the RLH with my epilepsy specialist, the tablets dont work , im constantly on different tablets, i havent had a major fit like the main one ,
but i do get what they call partial seizures, this effects people differently, with me its the weirdest feeling imaginable, like a drunkness and
de-javou feeling all rolled into one, my speech goes very slurred, and i become very unstable, i dont go into a full blown seizure like 'the shakes
for the next day or so im left with a pounding headache like feeling but it isnt a headache (we all have headaches and know what they are) this isnt
the same, but knowing what ive got the first time this happened i contacted the RLH and they said oh its ok its just a natural reaction to the partial
The RLH now feel that surgery to remove the tumor is an option mainly because its is afecting my life more , the partial seizures are becomming more
frequent , but the tumor itself has not changed in any way.
Now there are a few things i have left out mainly to protect my identity just incase there was someone on here who could put 2 plus 2 together and hey
I guess what im really looking for is an answere?
From who...i dont know?
Am i reading more into this than i should?
Am i adding 2 and 2 and coming up with 5?.
just one other thing....the doctor that told my wife i have never heard from again and after numourous calls and letters to find this doctor ..to no
avail, this is something that has just bothered me , im not saying that there was anything sinister in this but it just really annoyed me that he told
someone not me over the phone?
i would like to hear your thoughts on this subject, if anyone wants.
(mod edit to remove caps from title)
[edit on 24-5-2005 by pantha]