Welcome to ATS. I too have had the feeling for most of my adult like that i have been abducted since I was a small child; no "whole memories" just
fragments of memory regarding seeing aliens in my bedroom, finding myself
asleep on the floor of my bedroom when I went to sleep in bed. I also, like you, have had the memory of finding myself alone in my backyard in the
middle of the night when I was around five or six years old and I can remember the emotions of thos times a lot more clearly than the actual
I remember that when I was a small child my parents had a pair of oil paintings hanging on the living room wall that depicted a chinese man
and woman in ancient costumes and I remember that I was always frightenmed of those pictures because of their eyes which were very large and almond
shaped and very black. There was no popular image at that time of the "grey" as they are currently depicted. I remember that the first time I saw an
illistration of an alien when I was in my early twenties I recognized the eyes as the ones that had so frightened me as a child.
I have had numerous ufo sightings in my life and have dreams on a regular basis that seem more like memories than regular dreams.
But I think it's OK, really, beacuse like you I never had the feeling that these aliens were trying to hurt me. Especially as a child, looking back
on it now, I always get the impression of good feelings or true affection if not outright love.
These feelings and memories have caused a lot of stress and confusion over the years and have resulted in much confliction regarding my relationships
with family and friends. I too have been ill chronically for many years and wonder if my visits from the "strangers" have anything to do with it.
But, it helps to talk about it, doesn't it? It's a good thing that you are able to share your experiences and feelings with others, especially here
with very few exceptions I have found everyone here to be friendly and caring, so keep on posting and I at least will always be happy to listen.