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IT ticks to, only faster.......(a tale)

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posted on May, 21 2005 @ 09:11 PM
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Everyone stands alone......each a King of his own Bunker hill.

He defends his hill, and he fights! Sometimes to win, but on a regular basis, only to loose. To confuse himself into babbeling stupidity.

The morals of the individual, guide the destiny of all who wish to 'believe'. Each life running smooth as clockwork. Only the occasionalbump, witch may knock a tick out of sync, but not so far off as not to be imediately mended by the watchmaker.

Each individual follows the patterns set by his years. Years of fear of anything outside of ones personal knowledge... Afraid to be differant......... Afraid of guilt.

Oh, that awfull word.......~GUILT~ Much more than a word, guilt seems to be a genuine emotion. I can not think of a more self destructive feeling than guilt.

~~~~~~~

Years pass, and likewise so do events. New things come and go, good and bad alike. Life goes on. Only the guilt feelings and fear of unknown experiances stand like a solid barrier. So to be sure NOT to upsett the moralityof the watchmaker, we close our eyes and let the oportunitys of new horizons pass by..........In ignorance believe that nothing exists beyond our own morals. Nothing of value....................

Unwaveringly content, we sit. Solid as stone, not speaking. With our eyes shut and our hands over our ears, we remain. Afraid to 'be differnat' and possibly fall out of sync. Remembering always to follow the ticking pattern that the watchmaker intended us to follow.

I alsp sat, thinking everyone was inane and stupified, with the exception of myself. The people around me would pass by and smile thinking I would go far....They would try to make themselves believe, as well as me that all I was doing was good. I was in sync, and anything more would be bad.

I sat inside, looking out. I looked at all the bad ones. The bad ones being anyone who was not in sync. They would dare to tick to whatever sync they choose. The watchmaker clained they were doomed, and that we all must close our eyes, so close my eyes I did........but in secret, I could 'think' about IT.
IT....being as anything out of my regular tick pattern, and that IT, is what I thought about.

Once in a small act of desperation, I removed my hands from my ears, to hear what kind of noise IT made. IT was very loud, sometimes unpleasant, but mostly IT sounded very full of life and energy.

When questioned on my boldness at having listened to the unspeakable IT, I became defensive, and immediatly denied the act. Denied it to the world, but inwordly craved more..... I became an empty cup pleading with the giver of liquid.......to be filled. I dreampt of myself being filled, to overflow and pass on to the other empty cups the precious liquid.

The liquid being knowledge of all things out of sync.





(more later hand cramp) "ouch ouch"

[edit on 21-5-2005 by theRiverGoddess]




posted on May, 21 2005 @ 09:51 PM
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Sly and stealthy, so timid....the 'evil' act. Maybe my thoughts would remain undetected by the watchmaker, but allready my tick was a slight skip faster.

A war. Yes a MENTAL war. A war between almost unmixable substances. Morals and the existing liquid. Unmixable only in the middle of those with the watchmakers tick. My mind could almost grasp at the marraige as feasible.
A marraige of morals and liquid, at least possible in the cloudy whisperings of my mind..

Once more the overwhelming sensation of curiosity climbed my spine, and entered my mind. My hands removed themselves from my ears, and once more I was filled with the crashing sounds of IT. Savagely admitting IT was enjoyable to me! I wanted more! Much more, than mere attempts.

Brazenly I tried to speak. Questioning those about me, in attempts to locate someone liken to myself. All those about me sat unmoving, seaminly unable to hear my plea, with their hands covering they're ears. They sat, ticking the same tick, afraid to be viewed as curious or out of sync. I found myself seeking others who were aquainted with the power of IT. Only they seemed to be the ones who were bad. Oh! How they would praise IT! They made IT seem so right, so much more of a point of perfection than the previous.. I listened to them and I began to fill my empty spaces with IT.

I began to feel in control of my own tick, and it felt wonderfull! I had become an indavidual tick, within the blind group of the watchmaker.

Slowly, the bile infested evil of guilt invaded my mind. Guilt......The all knowing, all consuming monster. Life ruining guilt. It can control your tick, or not it so far out of sync, that you can never again claim the right to defend your own Bunker hill. Someone might lock you away and speak on your behalf and take over the hills defense.

I was feeling guilty......below others, wanton perhaps. All because of my desire to be filled........So in desperation I tip myself over and empty myself of the liquid. Completely empty, with the exeption of minor droplets of guilt.

In my attempt to return to the origonal state, I find it very dificult indeed. I can sit, but I find it very hard not to listen and hear. Punish the evil thoughts! Thats what I must do! But I can not find it in me to do so, because first I must convince myself ZIT is truly evil.......wich I can not do.

If IT is not evil, IT must be good. For everything is one or the other, and one and the other is everything........and IT is no exeption.

Trying to know it all, trying to prove lustfull objects pure, I fight all morals within myself and, I.... stand. An eternally prone human being as I was, I now stand. I listen, and open my eyes. I finaaly see my uknown joys. My arms reach out to feel, and I finally experiance IT to the fullest!!




to be continued:


[edit on 21-5-2005 by theRiverGoddess]



posted on May, 21 2005 @ 10:10 PM
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Years pass, life has been fast....so fast, to fast. You find it vitualy impossible to recall all the minor events. Life has been the speed of light, but your body has slowed. IT is always the same. IT looks so pleasing when your on the outside. Especialy to those young defenders of the Bunker hills. So, they try IT. It is pure, and your filled with IT's liquid, but only to find IT's no differant. Once your filled, you no longer tick by your own accord. You now belong to IT. You bare the tick of the many worshippers, and IT stopped being fun, a LONG time ago.

You shut your mouth hoping to regain self pride. You shut your ears desperatly trying to keep the self pride you have gained. Your eyes squeeze shut, hoping to cast away years of memories and lies. Then you try and sit, but your tick is to fast! When you attempt to sit, you bounce right back up......you sit, you stand, you struggle.....You try harder to fight, attacking yourself, trying to regain your old Bunker hill, and and slow you tick back down.

The pain is excruciating, to fight for things long past, to loose new things uneeded. Only to discover that IT tickd to, only faster.

Now doubleing your efforts to go back in time, to drain yourself of individuality. You find it impossible to go back, and you refuse to give up the battle. You cry out that it IS feasible, but then it prove to not be. So they come.
They come for you and your idealistic views, and they take you with them. They take you and lock you away. They give you your own 'special' Temple, and leave you there. Thats what you get in the long run, for that is what IT had in mind for you. IT makes sure you get what IT wants you to have. If you refuse, all life as you know it, will surely end.


~~YOU CAN NOT OVERCOME SMALL PROBLEMS, BY TAKING ON BIGGER ONES~



posted on May, 21 2005 @ 10:14 PM
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sheesh I found that today going through old papers.
I wrote that in 1979. I was 16......

I thought it was trippy enough to share on ATS.

I look at it and find it amazingly pretentious.....
and you can see the struggle I was having over leaving the Mormon church...

I thought it was pretty funny really, for the youg girl that I was.......

Gads....shoot it down, come on.......I can take it I am way older and wiser now.
I am laffin. l

TRG



posted on May, 21 2005 @ 11:02 PM
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River;

Thank you for giving us watchmakers a favorable 'light'.
We seem to be so unappreciated, but it is pure alchemy to be given a hand full of parts and to be able to bring IT back to lfe.
Love your wording, you are a blessing...



posted on May, 22 2005 @ 12:59 AM
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Your overkind Siriusly, seriously.

I find it over frilled with superfluous words. I WAS attempting to work with the fluidity of sound but I kept totally loosing it.
Hey BTW did ya notice the charectors are really lacking in.....ah...lets say, EXISTING?
Just WHO are these watchmakers anyway...Gods? gads I am unsure what this was really about......
........and I wrote it. It was meant to portrey Religion and esablishment....vs. a hippy type utopian lifestyle, and I don't think it comes through very clearly........


Anyway I think your overkind, and yet I can be a harsh judge, especially on myself.........where do I find a doctor that can install a spell checker thingy'majigger in my brain?


My take on this story is that it is "replete with stinkyosity" *quote Jan Brady.





[edit on 22-5-2005 by theRiverGoddess]



posted on May, 16 2007 @ 06:50 PM
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I see what you're trying to do here. It's not easy to integrate image and muse. Anyone who wants to learn the technical stuff should study Shakespearian sonets. Based on your word choices, I can see that you invested a lot of your emotions in to this. It's a bit open ended, which means you didn't come to any resolution. Philosophy does blend with worry, but any reader who is really going to appreciate what you did here will need some satisfaction. That;s my opinion, and it reflects my own tastes. Are you expressing a single state of mind, or are you documenting a transitory period in your life? Answer that question, and I think you'll have what you need to finalize this.

Don't confuse pretention for the emotion that drives your work. Remember that when you make word choices that comvey multiple meanings, you have no choice but to strive for high powered descriptors. That's now flowery, its egotism, its impression-ism with all the punch you can deliver. Imagine that you're blind. Describe an orange, then you'll see what I mean.



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