Originally posted by Seraphim_Serpente
OK lets continue! Would you mind telling us how/why you became a "Monotheist" Somewhereinbetween?
Let me see if I can recall:
At first I was sitting in my cave asking myself how to make this T-rex more appetizing to my man, the one who killed same. While contemplating this
and in between picking lice from my hair, I was rubbing two sticks together when they suddenly ignited. Obviously the fire answered me, because the
sound it made was so not what I had ever heard before, and manifested itself in a puff of smoke that looked like nothing I had seen before. So I
tossed the side 'o' T-rex ribs onto same, the old man came home after an exhausting day of mah-jong with the boys, looked at it and asked; 'what is
this?' Thinking on my bare and calloused feet, I quickly replied: 'a burnt offering dear.' He bit into same, no, more like tore into same, (I just
could not teach him table manners) complimented me for the new flavour and declared same; 'out of this world.' As the news spread from cave to cave,
the other women wanted to know how I created this magic, and being the intellect I was even in my first life, I responded..."ga, ga, ga...duh!' Not
too long after though, my neighbour being the jealous wretch she was, and not to be outdone, noticed that in the noon day sun, a bundle of dried
sticks caught fire. She then ran to the three adjoining caves in our city and declared she found the real...'ga, ga, gad.' which was not sticks but
that bright shiny thing that caused our skin to burn. Being in awe, all 70 of us on the whole earth, 2 from my cave, 20 from another, 34 from
another, and 14 from the last one in our city, called that bright thing 'ga, ga gad.' By the time we were 226 people, the young uns, you know how
those young uns can be defiant and introduce their own slang? decided to just shorten it to..'gad.'
And I've been faithful to Gad since. Therefore monotheist. But then again maybe you prefer I tell your version? Oui? Oui!
Back in the land called Egypt where we have the oldest recorded history of man, there were these people who looked to Gad and decided it was to be
called Amun. They figured that since it was so bright and warm, it had to be the cause of their creation, and so being auspicious in nature decided to
create symbology, carve same into stone and tell us all these stories about Gad, this made them very powerful because they seemed to know what others
did not. Well, wouldn't you know? As the population increased, some people just could not stand the thought that others were smarter than they, and
so, they rebelled, formed what we know today as politics and gathered followers. Of course, this Gad had to be usurped, so they created this new
generation as well as their own gad and named him Ra, by virtue of their followers after a rousing speech, who shouted; ra! ra! ra!. This Ra then,
needed to be reinvented, and reinvented he was, because as the people moved from caves to mudhuts, they became smarter and demanded to know why ra was
better than Gad.
The leaders were way ahead of them and created all these stories about their river, the animals,why the snake is deadly and why there is light and
darkness, and giving everyone some never before heard name for each. As time went on, and the people started asking even more questions, like, why
should we listen to you? the stories became more emboldened, and the leaders created all sorts of fantastic tales that they were the offspring of
these wonders in the heaven and earth and only they can know the mysteries but were willing to part with the directives only of these things now
called gods (It was an accent problem.)
A lot of years later, some wisecracker decided that he did not want to be just a follower, he wanted to lead, and that meant creating his own gods, so
he roused the paupers, incited them to riot and demanded he and they be allowed to seperate, (Quebec has nothing on these folk). Whereupon, he and his
father-in-law, seeing that the multitude were being recalcitrant, decided there and then to create their own gods. This wisecracker disappeared into
the hills and came back declaring that he found the real god who spoke to him, and made all sorts of promises of a brighter future, and if the masses
did not believe in this god from the hills, he, the god, who was really the wisecracker, would kill 'em just as soon as look at 'em, which he
supposedly did. But all he did was take the gods of old and in their names create a new god. Not a soul challenged wisecracker's interpretation, and
they were 'sore' afraid, because they gave up all of their metals to this god who decided to form same into swords and weapons of mass destruction,
and to boot test their sharpness against a few thousand of his people, I mean enemy.
Well, after a couple thousand years of this, the leaders , busy trying to outwit the questions of the citizenry, came up against two others who had
their ploy all figured out, some guys named Paul and Clement. These two used the history of the leaders from wisecracker omnward against the current,
created yet another god from that history, and as luck would have it, god has a new moinker, some Roman name.
You do Realize that Judaism is a Monotheistic Faith - do you not? Jews also only Believe in "One God" = the Creator (although He does get
Pissed pretty easily - then becomes the "Destroyer"). So then why are you talking Negatively about fellow Monotheists - just because you find their
Rituals "Gross"? Is this really any of your Business? Are you a Xenophobe?
You see this is a prime example of why you are not in my league. Islam is monotheistic, do you believe in that religion? And no, the rituals
are not gross, they are dispicable! I share nothing with you in monotheism, for your one-god comes to you not from within but from a 6,000 year old
teaching of multiple gods which was ingeniously morphed into one over time. And I really don't care how much you think your fantasy of a destroyer
becomes pissed, he will never materialize.
[edit on 6/7/05 by SomewhereinBetween]