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Broken relationship

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posted on May, 19 2005 @ 01:06 PM
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Hi there, I'm in a bit of a tuff situation right now. My girlfriend and I have been together for more than a year now. I love her very much, I would die for her (please don't connect with suicide) and she's the most important person in my life. Now a couple of weeks ago problems started. She began talking about all the things she must have missed out and thing I already experienced. After that she started saying she didn't feel as much for me as in the past. But she said she knew that she still loved me very much. 3 days ago she stopped seeing me (we used to see each other almost every day), just like that. She said she wasn't sure about what she wanted anymore, she said she might want to experience new things. She also said she was pretty sure that even if we came apart we would come back together some day. She doesn't want me calling her and she won't see me very often. It's been one time since then. She said we can see each other Saturday for lunch and who knows... Now she said all I can do I wait and be patient if not I'll bother her. My feelings are killing me. I haven’t been able to sleep right, eat much or do anything productive. She knows this but she says I have to be strong and hold on. She said there still is a chance for us to come together again.

Now I hope of you can give me advice on what to do. Please leave the your so young (19 turning 20 this year) because I’ve had enough relationships to know I love her all the way.
She is 18 and I’m her second boyfriend but I know she loves/loved me at least as much as I did her. I have never cheated on her and I have never hurt her in any significant way. Physical or feelings wise. Please help if you can. I think especially woman could help me as maybe they have gone through the same kind of situation she’s going thru.




posted on May, 19 2005 @ 01:23 PM
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She's seein' someone else man, and keeping you on the back burner in case it falls through... Just my opinion.

That's why she doesn't want you to call etc. and spook the new squeeze.



posted on May, 19 2005 @ 01:33 PM
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been there done that!

yes, I've had the exact same thing happen to me.

She probably has another "interest" right now. All you can do is give her the space... let her have the time.

You have to do this. If she really loves you she'll come back. If not, it will hurt and you'll think that you'll never love again, but you will get over it. You will find someone and fall in love again.


I didn't give my girl the space and I ruined everything. I later found out that she only went on 2 dates with this guy and was going to take a couple of weeks and do nothing and then call me up. That wasn't good enough, I called everyday, went by her house, bugged her friends... she decided that she didn't need me anymore... I didn't give her space.

Good luck, hang in there and try to keep your head up !



posted on May, 19 2005 @ 02:59 PM
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listen to them, let her be

if she wants you back she'll come back, but I don't know if you should wait. This young lady is still playing the field, you're probably too serious for her (meaning discussing undying love, marriage, kids, etc) it may have scared her off. Give her time and space and see what happens.

You can also broach the subject of you seeing other people while she thinks about it, see how she reacts, if she gets mad, says no, etc,etc, she'll probably come back, if she says it's a good idea, then move on.



posted on May, 19 2005 @ 03:13 PM
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try this always works
when she blabbers on about something try to listen without saying something about football or anything u care about

also if that dosnt work by her a necklace and say shut up for a min
if she leaves you after this she may have allready cheated on u so plz dont blame me


:bnghd:



posted on May, 19 2005 @ 05:38 PM
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wow sounds like alot is going on there,

First i would say this is part of growing and changing, shes at trhat age where she is unsure who she is and just begining to find out, to do this she needs to be alone,

Now saying that, she should not be making you hang on.

I would say to you, if you love her then dont stand there on the end of a string, You need to walk away and find youself, its more likely that if you step away she will need realise that she needs you,

but its not fair for you to wait while she makes up her mind,

Yes it hurts, it will hurt to walk away but it will hurt you more in the long run if you stay.

Get out and do some other things meet some other people,

Geeze i really hope things work out for you, i know the pain you feel right now is so intense, please if you feel you need to chat u2u me.

Good luck, and remember keep busy



posted on May, 20 2005 @ 08:20 AM
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Thanks to all, you are allot of help. I've decided to give her space and let her. I told her I won't call her anymore and I that I won't try to meet. her, I said if she wants to talk I will be there but she has to call me (not in stupid macho kind of way) and I'll be there. But this doesn't mean I'll way for her. Then I asked her If she realy wants to meet for lunch tomorow, I said I would rather not if she's not shure. She replied that it would be for the better, especialy better for me (in a nice way, we didn't fight or anything). I'm shure she isn't cheating on me, I would notice and I have to many friends that would have my back and tell me (basel is a small place and I don't mean to sound like a ton of ego) and besides I know eben if we were to break up, she would try to be my friend and she realy doesn't want to ruin it.
I never mentioned getting married or kinds or anything. The only thing we used to say was it would be nice to get an appartment to live toghether.
And asala, youre right. Keeping myself busy helps allot. By the way I'll send you a U2U. I'll keep on posting. Thanks again



posted on May, 21 2005 @ 09:46 PM
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from an honest person im gothica91'S friend and im a girl
as a girl if she stops seeing you then tells you that you still have a small chance she is just letting you down easy... im not telling you to just forget her. but most likely she is seeing others and you should get a few friends
its healthy to have a few friends of the opposite gender. were i you and i still had feelings for her i would wait it out . it it has been quite a while (you decide) then you should move on.
just follow your heart and itll tell you what to do
if you still like just drop subtle hints: simple yet romantic. that should entice her. if not then just try to talk to her once you get her to be a good friend then you should be able to get her back. Dont result to beer



posted on May, 21 2005 @ 11:53 PM
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Originally posted by Gazrok
She's seein' someone else man, and keeping you on the back burner in case it falls through... Just my opinion.

That's why she doesn't want you to call etc. and spook the new squeeze.


I agree with Gaz here. Either she's interested or is already dating somebody else. Keep your chin up man it happens. Happened to me once before.



posted on May, 22 2005 @ 09:11 AM
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Originally posted by Ocelot
I agree with Gaz here. Either she's interested or is already dating somebody else. Keep your chin up man it happens. Happened to me once before.


I agree with Gaz and Ocelot on this one too sadly, it sounds as if she is seeing someone else, but there is a chance she just needs a break.

My girlfriend needed some space during our relationship, she made me hang in there and one day i told her i couldnt and that i would have to walk. In the end, it worked out for us, we have nearly been together for 8 months now, it turned out that she loved me too much to let go.

[edit on 22-5-2005 by infinite]



posted on May, 23 2005 @ 12:23 PM
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Honest advice dude?

walk......dont be cruel or horrible but just tell her you cant hang around......just tell her your suffering and thats not fair on either of you.

Whats for you wont go by you!

if its meant to be it will happen......i know the pain mate....i was your age when the love of my life did that to me.......7years later....7YEARS!!!...she flies to another country to tell me she made a mistake...i hadnt even spoke to her in that time!......i still felt for her alot...it kind of turned over old memorys but we spent 2 weeks in spain, had a lot of sex and a lot of laughs and then decided are lives were to different.....maybe wait another 7 years and see what happens!

so...it goes to show you, you just dont know!

but seriously mate...look after yourself for a bit.....shes the one with issues not you.

regards, peace out!



posted on May, 23 2005 @ 12:56 PM
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Plenty o' Fish in the sea meng.



posted on May, 24 2005 @ 09:15 PM
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Sounds to me like the relationship was beginning to grow stale. It's a pretty common rut to fall into when you've been dating someone for a long time.

I know sometimes I think the same thing as her.
"I'm young, I should be going out more"
"I've never really experienced my life the way my friends do"
"I have never really dated anyone but you"

She's probably afraid that if she stays with you, she's just going to grow old, have a few kids, and no stories to tell them.

Maybe give it a break for a bit, feel out if she's seeing someone else, then try to give your life a fresh approach. Try a new look, new music, go out a little more. Maybe she'll like your renewed sense of life and come back to you.



posted on Jun, 4 2005 @ 01:35 PM
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Ok sorry I didn't reply for so long but I haven't had the time. things are still going the same. I've changed my atitude though. I decided if its over its over, no matter how much it hurts. All she sais is she doesn't know if its over and she sais it would still hurt her if I see other wimen(not that I could right now) and that I shouldn't because she doesn' know if its over. I mean she must be playing with me. we haven't realy kissed since my second post here.?! One things changed, she has become mean. Last time she called me to come over, when I got there she told me to leave. When I ask her what I did to make her made then se sais she doesn't know. She sais I've changed, so I checked it up with my best friends (who would!! tell me the truth) and they said they didn't notice any change. Another problem Is that her brother is a good friend of mine and every time I call him and she pics up the phone she thinks I'm cheking up on her,
it like if she would have grown some kind of ego that makes her thing everything I do is about her. I've also started to think thats shes cheating on me, when I ask her she can't realy give me an answer without euther laughing or looking away from me. I think its a dum game and its sarting to make me hate her more than I love her. She has become everything I hate in a girl, arrogant, she get ipulsivly mad, she probably lies to me and she doesn't realy respect my feelings even as a friend.
If she is cheating on me. I'll get to know the guy, I wont make a scene or try to beat him. I'll just explain to him what kind of game shes playing and wish him luck. Because if thats the case: a. I don't want her anymore, even tho it hurts and b. hes gonna need it. Its sad how such a nice person can turn the other way and betray a long relationship. But who knows maybe it'll be for the better. Thanks for all youre replies, its allot of help.



posted on Jul, 8 2005 @ 06:19 AM
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This girl is screwing with you big time dude, and I probably know why.

Think about her lifestyle - does she have much control over her living situation? Friends? People that have no control of their own lives like to control those who let them, and you're letting her play you.

I know it sounds hard, but she's messing with your head - though it may not be deliberate. She's obviously in a confused state right now and she doesn't know what to do.. though she probably does care about you, maybe not in a loving/relationship way.

She probably told you to go because you reminded her of something, something about herself perhaps. But being that age she doesn't know much about her feelings (no offense, but it is true) so she's all over the place.. plus if she's had only 2 boyfriends maybe she's unsure how to "act" in a relationship..

What was her last partner like? Maybe that has something to do with it? You can often see patterns forming I guess..

Good luck with everything..

By the way, I doubt she's cheating on you. She might have met someone but I doubt she's done anything behind your back, as she obviously feels a tremendous amount of guilt already.



posted on Aug, 31 2005 @ 03:53 PM
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Hi all. I thought I should update this. Well in these sad days with all the cruelty of life, I'm happy to report that it all worked out fine . We got back together. Well thats only part of the story. Well it goes like this. The whole damm mess wennt on a while don't ask me how long. It was almost enough to drive me to drink. But then, something changed. I got an offer from a company in my native country Colombia S/A, that if I was to study systems engeniering here , they would give me a job from then on. You can tell its all about conections ; ).
Well I guess somewere along the line, she figured out she could loose me. So now I'm back in South America and I'm gettin everything in order here. She will
finish her last schoolyear there and meet me here. We even have our own place
. So Its almost a year from now. It gets even more interesting. The reaon I'm here this early is, that i never did the colombian highschool degree. So thats what I'll be doing till oktober. The I'll catch a plane back to switzerland and stay there till the summer. And then... Well home sweet home I gues.
Just for the record, she never cheated on me. Well untill the next crisis ; ).
Every body, thank you very much and
Have a nice day



posted on Sep, 4 2005 @ 08:49 AM
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Keep this in mind.

Judging by your posts..you have alot on your plate in planning your future.
You do not have time to be on hold for a woman who is insecure.
I am glad that you worked it out .. but my point is that you cannot afford another round of this insecurity.
If it happens again ...you tell here point blank. I dont have time for this insecurity I need a secure woman in our relationship. You put the ball back in her court. She can now perform up to standards or get lost. My point is your time is valuable. You dont have time to be picking up on some insecure womans clues and cues while she "finds herself." This is also called leadership.
You are not here to hit reset on the video game for her every time she decides she doesnt like the game. Her or any woman. Got the point.???
By your posts your time is valuable and you have alot on your plate to take care of. You dont need her insecure baggage in addition to your program that you must run to survive. Do not get sidetracked emotionally because she thinks she cant handle it. Emotions can be huge baggage if you dont learn to handle them correctly and in the right perspective.
Sorry olde man if this seems rough ..but life out here among the wildlife can be rough. IF she wants to stay with you she needs to make herself a asset not a detriment.

Thanks,
Orangetom





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