posted on May, 14 2005 @ 09:38 PM
At first your dates involve such fascinating activities as watching the girl read a book, watching the girl sit at a table, or the ever popular
watching the girl sleep.
Sexy Beach 2 - new story 1The happier you make your virtual girlfriend, the more swimsuits you unlock. Swimsuit choice is key. You want to make sure
you pick one that will look good strewn on the floor while you get your cartoon groove on. Again, due to the language barrier, we weren't exactly
sure how to go about this, but we managed to unlock a few fun suits, from the ever-popular "Daisy Dukes and suspenders" to the classic "Band-Aids
and dental floss" look.
As you get to know your conquest-to-be, the dates get a little more interactive. After a few days of stalking, er, watching her, you get to "touch"
her by giving her backrubs and affectionate thigh massages. Eventually your girl takes you to her favorite hideaway on the island and engages in
activities that are in no way suggestive. Like slowly eating a Popsicle. Or straddling a large tree branch while banana-shaped boats float in the
background. Don't read too much into it.
Once you've sat through enough animated thigh massaging, Popsicle sucking, and tree humping to confuse even the most healthy libido, you're finally
rewarded with a romantic night of, well, let's just say you can't find this kind of gameplay in America. For games this twisted you have to go
straight to Japan or hell, whichever is nearer.
But "Sexy Beach 2" is not just about a pathetic virtual substitute for real human interaction. Oh, wait, it is all about a pathetic virtual
substitute for real human interaction. Whatever the case, it makes us feel a little funny.