Human Flavored Tofu

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posted on May, 13 2005 @ 06:30 AM
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Is this for real??
WHY would anyone think of a product like this?

WHY would anyone market something like this?

WHY would anyone buy this stuff?

WHY would anyone admit to buying it?

OMG ... WHY??

www.thedartmouth.com...

Excerpt

Tuck student markets flesh-flavored tofu on website
By Dan Duray, The Dartmouth Staff
Thursday, May 12, 2005

According to Mark Nuckols Tu'06, humans do not taste anything like
chicken. The founder and CEO of Hufu, LLC -- the company that produces
hufu, a type of tofu that simulates the texture and flavor of human flesh
-- claims that his company's product "tastes like beef but a little softer in
texture and a little sweeter in taste."

"I have to admit that I myself have never sampled human flesh," Nuckols
said. "However, I've done quite a bit of research on the history and
anthropology of cannibalism and read enough accounts to have come up
with a fairly good approximation."

His product, which contains zero fat and 100 calories per ounce-sized
serving, was developed by a Dutch food processor and will be available
through his website, eathufu.com, which is set to launch Thursday. The
website, which ships internationally, will initially only offer Hufu Classic
Strips, which, according to Nuckols, "will basically resemble the choicer
flesh, which is upper arms, thighs and buttocks." Nuckols, however,
assures customers that plans have been made to develop Hufu Hearts
and Dr. Lector's Liver.

"For the cannibal gourmand, those are really the best parts," Nuckols said,
noting that a recipe for Dr. Lector's Liver and Fava Beans will also be
available on the website, along with several Aztec recipes and pieces of
literature about cannibals. Nuckols called the website, which will also
feature hufu t-shirts and aprons, "an entrée into thinking about cultural
practices of other people."

More at the site -
www.thedartmouth.com...


[edit on 5/13/2005 by FlyersFan]




posted on May, 13 2005 @ 09:20 AM
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man that is gross.
maybe we are training our palates for the new food of the future. The solution to population control. Although, Our bodies are so toxic, I couldn't see anyone surviving long on humans.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 09:41 AM
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Mmmmm, yummy. Can't wait to order! I wonder if different types of people taste different? And heck with no fat, and only 100 calories, I'll take 2 redheads, a blonde and a brunette..........

Please tell me this is some sick joke.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 09:48 AM
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What an idea! Create human flavoured tofu, and perhaps give an alternative to all the cannibals out there who don't feel right stealing flesh from humans


Man, with the tofu tasting like choice meat from the upper arms, thighs and buttocks, how could anyone resist.

I, however, will be eagerly awaiting Hufu Hearts and Dr. Lector's Liver. Yummy!



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 09:49 AM
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Funny thing is that I think I would eat people over tofu.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 09:59 AM
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EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! I cannot even believe what I just read. I don't know what is worse, the fact that the product was made or the fact that the product will actually be appealing to some people. What's next? Booger flavered burgers?


Jemison



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:04 AM
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First of all let me just say...


And secondly.


And finally I am NEVER eating hot and sour soup again - or ANYTHING with TOFU innit!





posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:06 AM
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booger flavoured jelly bellys!!!!




posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:07 AM
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He really should have tried to get the rights to "Soylent Green"...




"I have to admit that I myself have never sampled human flesh," Nuckols
said. "However, I've done quite a bit of research on the history and
anthropology of cannibalism and read enough accounts to have come up
with a fairly good approximation."


In other words, he has absolutely no idea how it SHOULD taste...he's just guessing.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:08 AM
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I had to send that link to our paper's food editor.


I cannot wait to see what she has to say.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:12 AM
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Originally posted by Gazrok
In other words, he has absolutely no idea how it SHOULD taste...he's just guessing.


Why in God's name would anyone want human flavored tofu.. er.. hufu?



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:17 AM
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That is just NASTY... Here in Minnesota we have the famous everything deep fried on a stick. Maybe I could suggest deep fried sh*t on a stick...



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:22 AM
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Originally posted by EastCoastKid
Why in God's name would anyone want human flavored tofu.. er.. hufu?


ECK, 'they' are trying to corner the market on "vegetarian cannibal's.


Sanc'.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:32 AM
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Originally posted by FlyersFan
"However, I've done quite a bit of research on the history and
anthropology of cannibalism and read enough accounts to have come up
with a fairly good approximation."

Preposterous. I've read about it and studied it, so I know what it tastes like.

There are plenty of cannibals out there that can confirm this.

Perhaps communion wafers can be made out of it??

I can't see any 'reason' for making this, other than that it will sell well and make you lots of money.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 10:43 AM
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Originally posted by Nygdan
Perhaps communion wafers can be made out of it??


Touché, Nygdan.

Sanc'.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 11:06 AM
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Originally posted by sanctum
ECK, 'they' are trying to corner the market on "vegetarian cannibal's.


Sanc'.


After all this I need another one of these:


This is mucho LOCO! Maybe its a German thing? Isn't that where that guy met that other guy through an ad and ate his member?

:shk:

What I wanna know is.. does girl flesh or boy flesh taste better? Girl flesh, it seems, would be more like veal, no? boy flesh would be more , uh, firm? Let's all sound off on this.. inquiring minds wanna know.


Odd

posted on May, 13 2005 @ 12:30 PM
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soylent green lite.

fantastic.



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 01:18 PM
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I thought this was the most disgusting thing I have
read about in a very long time.

Oh ... and to the person who said bugger flavored
jelly beans ... they already have 'em. Bugger and
vomit flavor. Disgusting right??? I think they are
Harry Potter jelly beans. You can get them at
Toys R Us and places like that.

Gross world!! GROSS!



posted on May, 13 2005 @ 01:56 PM
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Humans never cease to amaze me.:shk:

What's next, A$$-flavored jello?



posted on May, 14 2005 @ 01:53 AM
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mmm mmm good reminds me of another food





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