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posted on May, 11 2005 @ 07:12 PM
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You may or may not be aware of an increasingly common psycho-social phenomenon that is sweeping the Internet. This debilitating affliction is known as ATSisisosisabifida Syndrome Disorderish Thingameebob. The U.N.'s World Health Organization recently called me up, as they do every week or so, and said, "Look, stop sending us emails accusing the W.H.O of manufacturing the AIDS virus or we'll sue your sorry butt!" Being well versed in code-speak as I am, I understood this to mean that the W.H.O wants me to make a report on the spread of this sad condition, and so I ask you to please take the below test to aid me in my research.

Answer the questions and keep track of your points tally. Diagnoses are at the end.

Wecomeinpeace's ATS Addiction Severity Test

You spend how many hours a week on ATS?
More than 40 - 5, 31 to 40 - 4, 21 to 30 - 3, 11 to 20 - 2, 1 to 10 - 1

Your mood changes radically depending on the response you got to your last post.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You feel slightly depressed if no one replies to a thread you started.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You break off social engagements early to go home and log on to ATS.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

The amount of time you spend on ATS is a problem in your relationship with your partner.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You drink coffee in order to stay alert longer and avoid taking a break from ATS.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You order food delivered to your house to avoid taking a break from ATS.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You feel bored and agitated if ATS goes offline.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You feel that other ATS members will respect you more if you have more ATS points.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You feel that ATS members with a lot of points deserve your respect more than others.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You were disappointed that the 5 point reward was removed from ATSNN voting.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You do a little song and dance when you receive an applause from a moderator.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You participate in ATS chat.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

Being banned from ATS chat would be a major blow to your social life.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You have an ATS blog.
Yes - 4, Strongly considering it - 3, Considering it - 2, Maybe one day - 1, No thanks - 0

You post on politics@ATS
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You have adopted a "newbie" before.
More than once - 4, Once - 2, Never - 0

You participate in the Board Questions and Business forum.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You feel angered by members that criticize the board administration.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

Your avatar was designed by JAK or UKWizard.
Yes - 4, Has been so in the past - 2, No - 0

You hope to one day become an ATS moderator.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

Changes to ATS board layout and design are major events to you.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You have used the Suggestions function before.
More than once - 2, Once - 1, Never - 0

You can tell when a regular poster is having a bad day.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You submit news articles to ATSNN
Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

You feel that the restriction on one-line posting is an injustice.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You feel that BTS is more relaxed because the background is blue.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You log on to ATS in the morning before going to work or school.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never - 0

ATSNN and TerrorAnalysis.com are your major sources of news.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0

You know who Simon Gray is.
Yes - 3, No - 0

You know SkepticOverlord's real name.
Yes - 4, No - 0

You know what TWATS means.
Yes - 3, No - 0

You know what the colored bar under the points tally is for.
Yes - 3, No - 0

You know what RATS means.
Yes - 3, No - 0

You subscribe to RATS.
Always - 4, Often - 3, Sometimes - 2, Rarely - 1, Never/What is RATS? - 0

You can tell when ATS is quiet or buzzing.
Strongly agree - 4, Moderately agree - 3, Slightly agree - 2, Disagree - 1, Strongly disagree - 0


Summary

0 - 35: Normal - You either recently joined ATS or only visit on occasion. The workings and wonders of ATS are largely a mystery to you. You have a healthy social life in the real world. You possibly even connect to the Internet using dial-up. Recommendation: What the hell is wrong with you?! Get cable and get posting or we'll have you "disappeared".

36 - 70: At Risk - You are at risk of leading a normal life away from ATS. You understand the merits of ATS but you don't spend as much time on ATS as you'd like. Recommendation: You need to get rid of some obstacles in your life, like your job/school/university. If you must retain your job/studies, an alternative is to introduce your boss/teacher/professor to ATS, soon after which logging on to ATS during work/school time will become standard policy.

71 - 105: Frequent user - You spend a large amount of time on ATS, but you are not quite addicted yet. Still, you have enough pizza boxes and coffee-stained mugs around your computer to build a small castle with. Immediately upon making any new discovery on the Internet, you think of how and where you can post it on ATS. You think that multi-tabbed browsers like Firefox are the greatest invention since the electric light. Your thumb and middle finger are calloused from "alt-tabbing" between the forums and the chat window. Recommendation: If you have to share your computer with others in your household, I recommend selling your siblings or children to pay for another computer. If your partner is preventing you from spending time on ATS, U2U one of the moderators and they will have him or her "disappeared".

106 - 138: Hopeless Addict - Your general moods rise and fall with the atmosphere on ATS. Since joining ATS you have either gained weight or lost weight depending on your metabolism. You regularly mention things you have learned on ATS to your family members and the few friends you have left in real life, and you are unaffected by their labelling you as paranoid or a "conspiracy nut", in fact, you take it as a compliment. Your work or studies have suffered a lot due to your time spent on ATS. You think about new things to post on ATS while in the shower and before you fall asleep. You have pure caffeine on an intravenous feed directly into your bloodstream. Recommendation: Carry on, soldier.



How did you score?

.




posted on May, 11 2005 @ 07:24 PM
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Damn, hopless addict, of course, not like it interferes in my life, I can quit whenever I want. I don't need it, I swear, no, don't send me to rehab! INTERVENTION!
ATS
SO
Simon
PTS
BTS
Conspiracy



posted on May, 11 2005 @ 07:39 PM
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I got 116..... hehe I added 7 poins instead of 4 for the chat ones lol Except that thing doesn't really fit with me... well not all just some.... I somehow find time for a socisl life and girlfriends....

[edit on 11-5-2005 by cpr12r]



posted on May, 11 2005 @ 07:51 PM
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"Fine effort, that"... Richie Benaud.

Some of your indicators of addiction could be upscaled to 10 while others remain at 4-5. But your understanding of this uniquely insidious condition is very well founded and the self-honest addicts will be lining up here for your rehab program.

MA = 51, not out.

BTW have you noticed ATS is more firmly entrenched in the Fortune 500 of "Big Boards" at #484? It's all such a numbers game, isn't it.



posted on May, 11 2005 @ 08:44 PM
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Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
"Fine effort, that"... Richie Benaud.

MA = 51, not out.


I've knocked up almost a century and I've only been at the crease for a few overs. Still, the new job may see me retired hurt.



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 03:10 AM
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very kewl test!!!

I scored 95, which puts me in the Frequent User group, though dangerously close to Hopeless Addict...







posted on May, 12 2005 @ 03:42 AM
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52

I repeat, you are not your ats points.



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 07:50 AM
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new members scoring 49 but i am new member and what the heck is RATS TWATS i am sensing i will become hopleslly addicted as spare time in the week i play golf go out till 9-11 ATS midnight till 4 in the morn even when i have school next day



[edit on 12-5-2005 by this is yellow 13]



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 01:23 PM
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First mod score here. A few of the questions weren't applicable to me though.

56



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 01:34 PM
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Originally posted by wecomeinpeace
36 - 70: At Risk - You are at risk of leading a normal life away from ATS. You understand the merits of ATS but you don't spend as much time on ATS as you'd like. Recommendation: You need to get rid of some obstacles in your life, like your job/school/university. If you must retain your job/studies, an alternative is to introduce your boss/teacher/professor to ATS, soon after which logging on to ATS during work/school time will become standard policy.


I fit into this section, my exact score is classified..



Your avatar was designed by JAK or UKWizard.
Yes - 4, Has been so in the past - 2, No - 0


thanks, proud to add to the addict rating of a few members


JAK

posted on May, 12 2005 @ 01:35 PM
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Umm...

I bloody hope the rest of you are lying about your scores to make it look like you have a real life, because I got 135.

...I guess that makes me 'special' right?



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 01:40 PM
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Originally posted by JAK
I bloody hope the rest of you are lying about your scores to make it look like you have a real life, because I got 135.


I didn't lie I was economical with the truth




...I guess that makes me 'special' right?


If you mean special as in special with straight jacket and padded wall then no comment





you are unaffected by their labelling you as paranoid


I'm often refered to as paranoid so that could mean something, but I have good reason for being paranoid

[edit on 12-5-2005 by UK Wizard]



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 01:44 PM
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86 - Frequent user

JAK you're obsessed with a score like that



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 03:33 PM
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I also scored an 86



posted on May, 12 2005 @ 03:43 PM
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don't need a score to tell me...just look at my profile


How about these....

You are a Mod.
Yes - 10, No - 0

You are a Writer, Scholar, or Fighter (under your username)
Yes - 10 (for each), No - 0

You make up polls about ATS.
Yes - 10, No - 0

Divide your ATS points by 1000, add this to your score.




posted on May, 12 2005 @ 04:09 PM
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You make up polls about ATS.
Yes - 10, No - 0


Well, that only brings my score to about 12.




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