Now hear this, a new wind is blowing.

Originally posted by Major Discrepancy

I have my uniform on currently (Summer Dress with ribbons),

Ah spring is here and the nuts are falling out of the trees, not to mention some guy running around in a dress with ribbons no less. You can count me out of you little ATS army. I have my eye on all you silly humans.




[edit on 9/5/2005 by Sauron]

Welcome back, General. Perhaps you don't remember the last time we crossed paths....

I have some questions that I hope you can answer, General. I would be grateful if this interrogation could be dealt with quickly, as I have other things to deal with. So please, be cooperative.

I have been summoned and I will surpass.

Summoned by who? Who is it you serve? And please don't feed me any "I serve ATS", as it won't wash. Unless of course, my investigations into your true identity are more accurate than I thought.

After I left you last time I assumed you worthless bunch of rabble would have pulled yourselves together and build the war machine that ATS can be. Fashoned the irregulars into shock troups for the fight against the NWO, ignorance and immorality.

Under what authority do you attempt this recruitment? It is against T&C to recruit among ATS Members if memory serves. Unless of course, you are or work for who I think.

First thing I will do is increase the level of morality on this board.

And who told you to do as such?

We are going to base our New Model Army after the Spartans, from now on we will throw out every form of distraction, and live pure chaste lives.

So you are recruiting. Best be nice General, as your actions may lead to rival groups springing up all over ATS, and Admin won't like that.

The next thing we are going to do is whip these new mods into shape. I have never seen such a bunch of cowering nervous girlies before on this board. Where are the masterful mods of past days, the bronzed adonises and ripped bodies of muscle?

Do not be as bold as to pick a fight with me General, or your return may be shorter than you think.

Well I will change that! I will guide these new mods into the mastery of mod-dom!!

Indeed... no doubt you may find some lackeys, someone who want's to crowd around the latest Drama, but you hold no sway over me.

As for the usual rank and file rabble, don't think that you are safe. I have come to winnow out the true followers of ATS and our cause from those who do not understand the terms of sacrifice and obedience.

Define a true follower of ATS please General, as I really am having trouble with that. Maybe if you name a Member that you feel is a true follower?

A members you will learn the true meaning of obedience, you will understand the joy of being part of a greater whole, a master race of internet dwellers, the future of our society and the leaders of the free world.

Define Master Race please.

ARE YOU WITH ME OR AGAINST ME?

Excuse me General, I'll be asking the questions here.

I await the triumphant posts of my loyal followers as we rise up and take back ATS from those who are to weak to wield it.

Take Back ATS? Such.... interesting... terminology you use General. I recall a group by that very same name.

Remember power belongs to the strong, and we will prevail in our quest to restore ATS to its dignity and me to my rightful place as its leader.

So you attempt a coup? How cute, General. For a nanosecond back there I thought you were about to say something original.

Now, I know ATS is no democracy, but you seem to suggest a right wing dictatorship. That may not go down well with about 80% of the Members here.

And please General, no trolling.



[edit on 9-5-2005 by Daystar]

I'm still waiting the $62,000.95 funds transfer. Remember, you're on a short leash around here and the kitty is looking mighty hungry... if you catch my drift.

The next thing we are going to do is whip these new mods into shape. I have never seen such a bunch of cowering nervous girlies before on this board. Where are the masterful mods of past days, the bronzed adonises and ripped bodies of muscle?

Why is is that you always seem to be talking about male parts and male nekkid bodies with their "ripped bodies of muscle" and all that?

Let me see...

Anti-women = check
Likes men = check
Wants a men only place = check
Appreciates men's bodies = check
Uses the word "Adonis" = check
Adonis was a Greek = check

Hmmm...Greek...
"The Dorians were the last tribe to migrate to Greece, and they are usually described as real he-men with a very masculine culture. According to the proponents of this theory, pederasty came to being on the Dorian island Crete, where grown-up men used to kidnap adolescents."

"Real he-men wanting a very masculine culture" = check
Insulting other men (similar to punching a girl in 2nd grade) = check

OMG!
I got it!


You totally WANT me don't you?

Originally posted by ZeddicusZulZorander

OMG!
I got it!

You totally WANT me don't you?

Zedd, you rock .



Funniest damn thing I've read in months.

[edit on 9-5-2005 by intrepid]

Originally posted by Major Discrepancy


A fair wind blowing is more like it, courtesy of the magnanimous General Dilemma. Extorting himself in a most generous manner. For it is the burden of command he so uniquely shoulders. Wretched dissent I hear from those who should have eyes front and a lock step pace.

Drop and give me twenty.

I give ya twenty...probably not the twenty you're looking for, but they'll be twenty you won't soon forget.

Are you G.D.'s personal assistant?

**

Well General as a ex soldier in the US Army, Im not gonna go along with using the Spartans as a role model. Correct me if Im wrong, but they were all Gay lovers.

I see plenty of civilians in ATS....Girly-men who have never endured the hardships of a soldier and are all mouth and no muscle. There are several guys like us on ATS, who stand up to the tide of Liberalism and degenerecy and we take alot of heat for it.

So count on me as one of your soldiers in the battles to come. I will always support a good American.


Maximu§

Originally posted by ValhallAre you G.D.'s personal assistant?

*

*

The Major is his very personal assistant and manwife. They have been trained in the manlove protocol, and they both use manpax manpons apparently.



[edit on 9-5-2005 by TheBandit795]

Originally posted by LA_Maximus
Well General as a ex soldier in the US Army, Im not gonna go along with using the Spartans as a role model. Correct me if Im wrong, but they were all Gay lovers.


Maximu§

*It just keeps coming up, doesn't it?*

You have to love this! It is one of the best comedy routines that I have come across in a very long time.
GD, you have definately made my day if not week for your 2 threads.

In case you men miss it on the "other" thread, Zedd is here to save you from, well...the General's "hands". So to speak...


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think all you "men" have been duped by the grunting, and blinded to actually Denying Ignorance. It's ok...Zedd is here for you.

Now I know General wants you to join his Klub for Men for comfort and support (see below).


I DO think you should consider some facts of the world.

In the World of the Lion.
Yes, King of the Jungle and Lord of the Savannah!
What actually occurs when a "beta" lions in the Pride tries to fight the "Alpha" lion and loses?

See very few Alpha males are actually needed to continue the species. Did the fight for manhood domination renew itself the next year?

Afraid not. The defeated males formed a sort of bachelor colony (like, oh...let's just say a separated forum board), lying around grooming each other (yes, that means licking), looking very handsome, indeed.

The females, however, wanted nothing to do with them, apparently sensing they were threats to their cubs and also...very un-manly. The most interesting finding though, was that at the end of a year...the testosterone levels of the defeated males had dropped to zero.

The Alpha males mind you were all busy with such activities as protecting the Pride, being groomed, and servicing the females (yeah, I'll stay in this group, thanks.)


Monkey Business:
Males will fight over hierarchy in the monkey world too. But one day three old males came to share power in a monkey tribe under the watchful eyes of researchers. They ceremoniously mounted each other over and over, and had to team up to beat down together any challenge by a strong, young male (FYI...very unmanly and unsportsman like conduct. Remember? The whole sports thing?)

Sounds like one cozy group of "men" there.

All-in-all, I just don't think your "Men's Only Klub" really is the best place. It does sound like many of the "men" jumping on the bandwagon DO want to do some grunting and such though.

Maybe you could take those ones with you.

Love & Kisses,
Zedd

I'm sensing much anti-love in this thread, have no fear it can all be sorted out over some milk and cookies and a good natter about the latest gossip



[edit on 9-5-2005 by UK Wizard]

To,
GeneralDilemma
Imperious warlord
Beaches of Normandy,

Dear GeneralDilemma,

As the self-proclaimed lord of fools, the leader of the senseless and the god of chaos, I had posted the preamble to the new ATS constitution here.

New ATS Constitution: Preamble

I Quake of the ATS, in Order to form a more perfectly senseless board, establish Justice for the fools, provide for the defense from common sense, promote general Warfare, and secure the Blessings of BigMac's to ourselves and our Posterior, do ordain and establish myself as the Super Duper Moderator of the ATS.

Any Opposers will be SHOT!! Survivors will be SHOT AGAIN!!

I would urge you to read the last line of the preamble very carefully. I expect an unconditional surrender by 2500 hrs tomorrow.

For you convenience, the surrender documents are available with the French. I hope to see you and your deluded army on the signing tables

Sincerely,

Quake

Ok GD... since yelling troll three times probably wont do any good with you, I'll give ya a few points in order to make a few...

First off, If you plan on waging some imaginary war for an imaginary cause, then you are in the wrong business, perhaps you should try politics...

second off, your attempt to form a coalition of the men seeking to make men out of boys is not original... look into a group called NAMBLA.... (sick puppies...)

thirdly, you say that the fairer sex is made of soft tender protectable vulnerable females... not absolutley true...
I can introduce you to several women I know that would tear the d*ck off an iraqi...
these are not women to be messed with... they could beat the spit out of any army, navy, or airforce man out there... maybe even the marines.

That said...
welcome back... it is always good to have new humorous material to read during my breakfast...
I look forward to more of your narrow minded, sexist, latently homosexual posts..

Originally posted by LazarusTheLong
thirdly, you say that the fairer sex is made of soft tender protectable vulnerable females... not absolutley true...
I can introduce you to several women I know that would tear the d*ck off an iraqi...

Exactly. Exhibit A:




Care to get into the ring GD?

BTW, let's not circumvent the censors please.

To back intrepid’s post above may I introduce Agent Roids.

Originally posted by kinglizard
To back intrepid’s post above may I introduce Agent Roids.

I've gotta admit that Exhibit B scares the living # out of me.

LOL.-

What a funny thread this is.

Hello general. Glad to see your back, enjoy your stay.

Hope you have interesting things to say!

P.S. THERE IS NO ARMY STRONGER THAN GODS ARMY. And that includes me and women.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
remove Exhibit B..
I'm already having nightmares, and I'm wide awake!

Originally posted by TheBandit795
Yes, if the women dissapeared, we'll then be the biggest geek club on the internet. You wouldn't want that, would ya??

SAUSAGE PARTY! Beer's on the good General!!!

I'll bring mine, don't worry 'bout it.

This is absolutely hilarious, so You have voted GeneralDilemma for the Way Above Top Secret award. You have one more vote left for this month.

My vote of confidence is in. My vote of loyalty is still out. I've been out of uniform for a while now, and I'm quite enjoying it *no I'm not* and besides, I kinda dig the chicks, you know, man?

I haven't put your proverbial skirt on yet, sir. There may be hope for me left. I don't know if I can give up the ladies, though. That'll be a tough one.

But I do have skills. Make me an offer... sir.


[edit on 9-5-2005 by DeltaChaos]