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...Random facts about Vin Diesel

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posted on May, 3 2005 @ 11:45 AM
Just some random facts about Vin Diesel: CLICK HERE FOR MORE

Here are just a sample of some of my favorites:

"Vin Diesel was the original teacher of Socrates, who then taught Plato, who then taught Aristotle, who then taught Alexander the Great, who then penisslapped Colin Ferrel."

"Vin Diesel has had sex with your mom on numerous occasions. He has a hotline for finding out how many times and what positions were used. Vin also times his ejaculations, in order to rate himself with the rest of humanity. He's in the number three spot, behind Patrick Stewart and Liberace's corpse"

"Vin Diesel once gave a woman an orgasm so intense she invented three new branches of mathemetics, discovered the first half of the true name of god and now only needs two and half hours of sleep a week. She can also now cook a damn good English Breakfast, and never breaks an eggs yolk."

"Vin Diesel defied MC Hammer and touched it."

"Vin Diesel was in India one day 2500 years ago and found some guy meditating under his favorite tree. Vin explained the nature of reality, karma and reincarnation to the man, who gained total enlightenment as a result. Then Vin said "Now get the F*ck away from my tree."

"Vin Diesel eats coal, sh*ts diamonds, and then sells the diamonds to buy more coal."

"Vin Diesel created the game of golf when he ripped off his own left nut and made a hole-in-one in Adolf Hitler's mouth from 400 yards away"

"Peanuts are allergic to Vin Diesel."

"Vin Diesel defeated Neo-Hitler and Neo-Stalin in an epic contest of strength. Their fight destroyed three planets and extended Vin Diesel's penis length at least three inches."

"Zeus got the idea for turning into a swan and impregnating women after watching Vin Diesel do precisely that while out drinking with Bacchus."

"Vin Diesel invented Spanish, but not Spain. Por que? Porque he COULD."

"Vin Diesel has racked up over nine billion Flawless Victories in Mortal Kombat. Not as a character, he went into the game itself."

"When the world finally ends, Vin Diesel will clotheline the 3rd Horseman of the Apocolypse and steal his horse."

"Vin Diesel's urine is the only substance that physicists can use to catalyze and sustain a cold fusion reaction."

"If you utter the phrase "klaatu barada nikto", Vin Diesel will fellate a monkey in your living room for $4.99."

"Vin Diesel got so angry at a mountain blocking his path that he punched it as hard as he could. Some of the pieces came back down and are now called Stonehenge. The part that didn't became the moon."

"Vin Diesel's blood is so oxygenated, that to get a blood transfusion from him allows you to stay alive underwater for hours without breathing."

"Vin Diesel can, and has on many occasions, switched the worlds magnetic poles."

"Vin Diesel once punched a man so hard, it killed his entire extended family and close friends."

"Vin Diesel is employed by Yellowstone Park to masturbate regularly. The resultant titanic outbursts are known as Old Faithful."

"Vin Diesel once had Parkinsons disease but he shook it off"

"Vin Diesel actually painted all the works of Michelangelo, but lost them to said "artist" after he bet that he could drink the entire ocean. Diesel almost succeeded, but gagged on a giant squid at the last moment."


posted on May, 3 2005 @ 11:56 AM
"The universe was created when Vin Diesel punched god in the face. This event was later named the big bang theory."

posted on May, 3 2005 @ 04:30 PM
I don't know why that's funny but it is.

The submission page is even funnier it's so damn anal about it:

We should make our list (can submit only once) and do so.

Must includes of course are Vin Diesel invented the Internet, and literally put the I before E (except after C).

Hrm, for AIM profiles: Vin Diesel 'facts' in your AIM profile.

Can't get that to work in sigs huh?

[edit on 3-5-2005 by RANT]

Vin Diesel 'facts' in your AIM profile.

Okay nevermind.

[edit on 3-5-2005 by RANT]

posted on May, 4 2005 @ 03:18 AM
Vin Diesel speaks in THX certified sound.

Vin Diesel's scrotum was torn off by an angry tyrannosaurus on his last expedition to Africa in 1984. It was replaced by skin from the tyrannosaurus' leg, which Vin ripped off with his bare hands, and his testicles were replaced by radioactive remains from Fat Man and Little Boy, the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This also explains why Japanese people are extremely anxious around him.

It's not DiGiorno, it's Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel has solved all of history's greatest problems with ho-slappings and his unique ability to ejaculate anti-matter.

If you whisper Vin Diesel's name to a newborn penguin, he will attempt to suckle your teat.

Vin Diesel thinks in binary coded decimal. This explains his intimate relationship with all Sesame Street characters.

Vin Diesel framed Roger Rabbit.

Vin Diesel made the Kessel run in less than ten parsecs, two whole parsecs quicker than the Millennium Falcon.

Vin Diesel beat Halo 2 on legendary, in 8 minutes.

And my personal favorite...

Vin Diesel believed himself to be cursed with the same fate as the infamous Oedipus. He then decided to kill his mother and rape his father, just to show fate what's what.

posted on May, 4 2005 @ 03:21 AM
"Vin Diesel defied MC Hammer and touched it."

oh man that i was great

/wave @ ocelot

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