Just some random facts about Vin Diesel: CLICK HERE FOR MORE
Here are just a sample of some of my favorites:
"Vin Diesel was the original teacher of Socrates, who then taught Plato, who then taught Aristotle, who then taught Alexander the Great, who then
penisslapped Colin Ferrel."
"Vin Diesel has had sex with your mom on numerous occasions. He has a hotline for finding out how many times and what positions were used. Vin also
times his ejaculations, in order to rate himself with the rest of humanity. He's in the number three spot, behind Patrick Stewart and Liberace's
"Vin Diesel once gave a woman an orgasm so intense she invented three new branches of mathemetics, discovered the first half of the true name of god
and now only needs two and half hours of sleep a week. She can also now cook a damn good English Breakfast, and never breaks an eggs yolk."
"Vin Diesel defied MC Hammer and touched it."
"Vin Diesel was in India one day 2500 years ago and found some guy meditating under his favorite tree. Vin explained the nature of reality, karma and
reincarnation to the man, who gained total enlightenment as a result. Then Vin said "Now get the F*ck away from my tree."
"Vin Diesel eats coal, sh*ts diamonds, and then sells the diamonds to buy more coal."
"Vin Diesel created the game of golf when he ripped off his own left nut and made a hole-in-one in Adolf Hitler's mouth from 400 yards away"
"Peanuts are allergic to Vin Diesel."
"Vin Diesel defeated Neo-Hitler and Neo-Stalin in an epic contest of strength. Their fight destroyed three planets and extended Vin Diesel's penis
length at least three inches."
"Zeus got the idea for turning into a swan and impregnating women after watching Vin Diesel do precisely that while out drinking with Bacchus."
"Vin Diesel invented Spanish, but not Spain. Por que? Porque he COULD."
"Vin Diesel has racked up over nine billion Flawless Victories in Mortal Kombat. Not as a character, he went into the game itself."
"When the world finally ends, Vin Diesel will clotheline the 3rd Horseman of the Apocolypse and steal his horse."
"Vin Diesel's urine is the only substance that physicists can use to catalyze and sustain a cold fusion reaction."
"If you utter the phrase "klaatu barada nikto", Vin Diesel will fellate a monkey in your living room for $4.99."
"Vin Diesel got so angry at a mountain blocking his path that he punched it as hard as he could. Some of the pieces came back down and are now called
Stonehenge. The part that didn't became the moon."
"Vin Diesel's blood is so oxygenated, that to get a blood transfusion from him allows you to stay alive underwater for hours without breathing."
"Vin Diesel can, and has on many occasions, switched the worlds magnetic poles."
"Vin Diesel once punched a man so hard, it killed his entire extended family and close friends."
"Vin Diesel is employed by Yellowstone Park to masturbate regularly. The resultant titanic outbursts are known as Old Faithful."
"Vin Diesel once had Parkinsons disease but he shook it off"
"Vin Diesel actually painted all the works of Michelangelo, but lost them to said "artist" after he bet that he could drink the entire ocean.
Diesel almost succeeded, but gagged on a giant squid at the last moment."