The earth was not created in seven days, page 1
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reply posted on 2-5-2005 @ 10:54 AM by saint4God
Hehe, I gettit now. Sorry, for the hang-up but I was confused. Not offended at all. I've got a joke to add:

3 men go to heaven and are hanging out in line to get in. St. Peter walks up to his podium and says, "Gentlemen, your ride in heaven is determined by your faithfulness to your spouse."

The first man, Bob proudly walks up. St. Peter smiles, "Very good sir. Ever since you met your wife, never did you think about another woman and kept faithful to her in all your years. Here's the keys to your Rolls Royce." The man beams, takes the keys and Bob drives into heaven.

Mike seemed a little nervous but straightens his tie and walks up. St. Peter says, "Not bad, not bad. You had a wandering eye, and there was that one time with you at work with the secretary in the closet, but you stopped her short, gained control and confessed to your wife. Here's the keys to your Ford Escort". Mike nods acceptingly and drives into heaven.

Joe, third in line, is in a cold sweat, whistling and avoiding eye-contact. St. Peter says, "Joe!" He jumps but shakely approaches. "Obviously you've made amends because you're here but your history! Always flirting, always making those kinds of jokes, and there was that affair you kept secret for a few months with the gal down the street." Joe nods shamefully. "Again though, you told your wife and after much time and pain, you managed to pull it together and revoke your sinful ways." Joe sees a ray of hope. St. Peter finishes, "Here's the keys to your moped".

So Joe is mopedding around Heaven and see's Bob in his Rolls Royce at a stoplight. He says to himself, "Hey, I remember that guy from the line. I should go over and say hi". He pulls up next to Bob in his posh car only to find him bawling his eyes out. Joe says, "Bob, you're rolling around eternity in the finest car that ever existed. What in God's kingdom could be wrong?" Bob replies, "I just saw my wife on a skateboard!"



[edit on 2-5-2005 by saint4God]


reply posted on 29-6-2005 @ 12:52 AM by Zipdot
Originally posted by sntx
Originally posted by benevolent tyrant
Does it really matter?


Yes, it really matters. The following is a copy of a post I just wrote in another thread, but it applies to this question:

There is a good reason that evolution is not compatible with the bible, and it does not have anything to do with trying to proove the Earth is 6000 years old. Evolution makes the entire message of the bible nonsense. Scripture teaches us that Jesus sacrificed his own life to pay the death penalty for our sin. According to the bible death and suffering exists because of mans sin. Evolution requires death and suffering to exist before the fall of man.


Hmm, so, when you discovered that, it proved the truth of the Bible to you, rather than proving it false? Interesting deduction...




Here is the order in the first (Genesis 1), the Priestly tradition:
Day 1: Sky, Earth, light
Day 2: Water, both in ocean basins and above the sky(!)
Day 3: Plants
Day 4: Sun, Moon, stars (as calendrical and navigational aids)
Day 5: Sea monsters (whales), fish, birds, land animals, creepy-crawlies (reptiles, insects, etc.)
Day 6: Humans (apparently both sexes at the same time)
Day 7: Nothing (the Gods took the first day off anyone ever did)


Okay, so that's one story. Here's another.


The second one (Genesis 2), the Yahwist tradition, goes:

Earth and heavens (misty)
Adam, the first man (on a desolate Earth)
Plants
Animals
Eve, the first woman (from Adam's rib)


What's wrong with these two accounts? In Genesis 1, God, having created light, doesn't create the Sun until way into Genesis 1:14... But he created plants back in Genesis 1:11. BadMojo, if you are correct, then the plants lived for a thousand years without photosynthesizing...

There are other contradictions, too, however:

www.infidels.org...
How orderly were things created?

[Genesis 1]: Step-by-step. The only discrepancy is that there is no Sun or Moon or stars on the first three "days".
[Genesis 2]: God fixes things up as he goes. The first man is lonely, and is not satisfied with animals. God finally creates a woman for him. (funny thing that an omniscient god would forget things)

How satisfied with creation was he?

[Genesis 1]: God says "it was good" after each of his labors, and rests on the seventh day, evidently very satisfied.
[Genesis 2]: God has to fix up his creation as he goes, and he would certainly not be very satisfied with the disobedience of that primordial couple. (funny thing that an omniscient god would forget things)


Zip

[edit on 6/29/2005 by Zipdot]
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