Scandalously bad humor and a request, page 1

THE RECIPES

Gene's Nutty, Wacky, Crazy, Chicken Hawk Salad *

Start with one large Ash Crock (a cracked one is okay). Place one Bush inside, preferably recently uprooted. Add one Rump (ground is preferred). Now add some Venom of Man. Spice of Abraham is good, but be very conservative. Add the Knee of a Principi (if this is not available a Chain Knee will do although Chain Knees are hard to find). Bring to a fever Pitch. Stir occasionally with a Tommy Thom-spoon. Paw N'Feel your way through and don't forget to add a big dose of propaganda. Be very afraid of foreign ingredients. We recommend that you always use a Norton Mineta gasser or bake in the Ovens.

Serve for Chow on a bed of Condoleezza Rice (the Rice may be fluffed with Fleischer margarine). A favorite salad recipe of fascists around the world and good for the Colon. Put on your favorite recipe Card. For home security during those hot summer days, keep locked away in the Fridge.

The recipe does not call for nuts, but the aroma of nuts is unmistakable. It also has a nutty flavor. A dish you would kill for or die for. Although full of chicken hawks, you'll swear you're eating a hero sandwich. Can be spoon-fed to the American public.

*Also known as Pseudo-Caesar Salad.

Below you will find the nationally guarded ingredients to the current White House indelicacy:

ChickenHawk Salad

1. Pluck ChickenHawk (from line of duty)
2. Reserve feathers. Good for ruffling, or for lining nest
3. Use saved neck to make a rich stock. Simmer in Defense Contracts (remember to skim fat off the top)
4. Coat the right wing in Buffalo-the-People Sauce. Roast the left wing, then discard.
5. Toss in the mix:
*Foreign Domain Let-us (torn into pieces)
*Nukes
*Capers
*RapScallions
*Cheesy excuses
*Shredded documents
*Pepperspray (for those on an antiwar diet)
*Salt of the earth (to shakedown)
*Words, unminced
6. Top off with "Cheerleader" brand Texas Ranch Cross-Dressing, and garnish with chips (place on shoulders, or let them fall where they may)

Makes enough to cover loafers with a lot of bread.

This salad is just for show: not to serve.

Robyn

CATHY'S CHICKENHAWK SALAD

Ingredients:

1 dozen right wing chickenhawk fanatics
1 US Department of Defense
1 Majority republican congress full of chickenhawks
1 Biased Supreme Court
1 Majority biased media
1 Moronic awol president (Texan brand is required)

Place 1 doz. right wing fanatics in a large bowl. Blend with US Department of Defense. Fold in the Majority republican congress and Biased Supreme Court. Spice the ingredients with a Majority biased media. Stir the ingredients well. For presentation purposes, sprinkle 1 Moronic awol president over all and serve it up to the American people.

Caution: Chickenhawk salad should be placed on ice and disposed of within 3 days. Dangerous and deadly e. coli can breed in Chickenhawk salad, resulting in a recipe for disaster.

Enjoy!

The recipe for Chickenhawk Salad is as follows:

Equal parts -

Chicken#
Lies
Tax cuts for the wealthy
Disdain for working people
Bloodlust

Mix with apathy from the general populace, "Media", and Congress. Serve liberal portions at White House press briefings and on daily "news programs".

Bon Appetit!

Jim

ChickenHawk Salad:

Dice up a bush (Jeb or Dubya brand)
add a few Limpballs (for a real Rush)
add only the right wings of a chicken
add 5 Dick Cheney small heart shaped onions
do Not use Johnny Ashcroft croutons that are shaped like boobs.
add some Scalia scallions
If you are a Wiccan (eye of a (G)newt.
For dressing use Rumsfeld rum sparingly.
Sprinkle with crushed pretzels and enjoy!

Terri

Yes as a matter of fact I do have the recipe. I don't think you will really want to make it, but here goes . . .

Take three or more chickenhawks..........one must be from Texas and must have a very macho attitude.......this will give the salad it's pungent yet repulsive flavor. Next add a heaping helping of manure, preferably from a bull. Mix together with a teaspoon of conservative media, (this is to preserve and enhance the flavor long after any possible nutritional or rational flavor has expired). This will also add a bit of visual enhancement without adding any substantial value.

After all ingredients have been mixed successfully, tell your dinner guests that this dish will be very good for them and delicious. Then, with a wink, serve your meal.

There are two reasons to serve "chickenhawk salad." First, it will surprise your guests when they realize what they have consumed, and second, when the guests have departed you will discover that the salad will morph into Iraqi oil.

I mean, even if your guests should perish from consuming your fabrication............hell you get to keep the oil.

Read this and more fun recipes in my new cookbook........"Cookin the Books for Fun and Profit." And be sure to check my recipe for "Texas Fake Diplomacy Cake" -- if your guests won't eat it.........force it down their throats.........the special ingredient is a new herb, "dis-passion fruit."