posted on Apr, 12 2005 @ 09:09 PM
Derig the medicine man was troubled. The clan was to have a new leader soon and he knew that Blag would take the position. Though large and fearsome
Blag was also a warrior. He loved nothing more then to hunt for those of other clans and kill them when he could. Many foul events had come from his
The death of the clan’s previous leader had come suddenly and was very unwelcome news to the medicine man. Berk had been a good leader. Food had
been plentiful and the clan had prospered, in spite of the occasional damage done by Blag.
Berk had died that very morning. On a hunt they came across a mammoth and began the attack. The meat would be more than enough to feed the clan in
the near future. From different angles the members of the hunting party had moved in and drove their spears into the beast. The goal was not for a
swift kill but to inflict enough wounds to bleed it to death. Over the course of several hours they attacked and retreated, attacked and retreated,
until finally the beast had fallen. With victory in hand Berk had climbed upon the head of the animal and raised his spear to the heavens and gave a
shout to his fore fathers.
The Mammoth was not quite dead yet and rolled its trunk around the mid section of Berk. Over and over it began slamming him into the ground as the
other hunters stabbed desperately in an attempt to stop the carnage.
Berk the mighty had gone that day to meet his ancestors, wrapped tightly in the trunk of the wooly Mammoth that made the journey with him.
Though sadness was felt all around for such a loss as Berk, the clan was still feasting on the kill of the day. Fresh meat was not to be ignored
regardless of what other events might have happened.
It was in this moment that Derig came up with a plan. Rising to his feet he grabbed a torch and made his way to the center of the encampment.
Twirling the flaming stick over his head he began to Yell to all that would hear.
“Join me! JOIN ME!” he yelled.
As the clan gathered around he knew he’d have to choose his words carefully. This would not be an easy undertaking. Having gotten the attention of
all the clan he began to speak.
“We will soon have a new leader to guide us.” He began. “But it will not be just ANY leader. It will be the leader of our own choosing. Who
among you feels in your own heart that you can lead this clan as well or better then the mighty berk?”
The members were confused. The clan leader had always been the strongest or most clever. If Duge was clan leader and sarg wanted to be then sarg
would find a way to bash Duge’s head in with a rock. Then sarg was clan leader until somebody else found a bigger rock. It was the way of the
“Let those among you who feel they can lead step forward!” Shouted Derig. “Then the clan will be asked who they want to lead them and the one
who gets the most of the clan on his side shall be leader!”
Instantly Blag stepped forward and said in a loud voice, “I lead clan!”
From the far side of the circle Brem stepped forward and proclaimed, “If were going to let the clan decide then I think I would be so very good at
it. Let me be leader.” Brem was rather feminine in his manners and though accepted by the clan, was always looked upon as really strange.
“Count me in.” said Larry as he too stepped forward. Tall and thin with lighter hair then most others, Larry was still a very smart member who
was widely respected by all.
“We have our future leaders!” Yelled Derig. “Each of you shall now stand before the clan and tell them why you should be the new leader. When
you have each finished the clan will be asked and the one who they have chosen, shall lead.”
Instantly Blag stepped to the center and in a menacing voice said, “I Blag. I make clan strong. We kill all the other clans and take what they
have. We will be powerfull and own all that we see! I Blag and I be good leader for clan!”
Brem then stepped into the circle and said, “Look people, we have to be nice to everyone and take care of the world and hug the tree’s, they have
feelings too. We can love our neighbors and forgive them if they kill us, we don’t have to be angry over such things. I will lead us all to peace
Larry then stepped to the center and after a moments hesitation said. “I will continue to keep us in peace, and keep the clan strong. We will not
fight unless we have no choice and we will prosper by protecting that which is ours and respecting those things that are not. Besides, Brem is a tree
hugging fag and Blag is a war mongering idiot. I’m the only sane choice on the table here.”
At that point Blag bashed Larry’ head in with a rock and Brem screamed about the invasiveness of politics and fled crying into the woods.
By the next morning the vote had been taken. All votes for Larry were thrown out since he was, well, dead. The votes for Brem were also thrown out
since it was discovered that during the night he had run away with another clan member named bigwon.
Blag was declared the winner and became the first officially elected leader in the history of mankind.
100,000 years later we all look upon democracy and sigh as we realize that not one goddamn thing has changed about it.