Ugh... Ex-girlfriends.

This is just sort of a rant. I dated this girl for over a year and a half, she eventually broke up with me 5 days before Christmas, and had a new boyfriend with in a week. They eventually broke up after like a month of dating, however, I finally felt a sense of relievement. We still kind of talked, but ultimately I was happy. She, on the other hand, was extremely depressed, even while dating this other guy. Now, here we are, almost 5 months later, and she wants to hang out. Which would be fine with me if i believed for a second that she didn't still like me. She has one of those "Xanga" sites, which is essentially just a blog. Recently she has been leaving poems in there talking about how much she misses me. Oh yeah, i told her i needed to think about us hanging out because i need to make sure that she won't get all depressed and start crying while we hang out. Basically, I want to make sure she is mentally stable enough for us to have an enduring friendship. I tell her, give me a week or so to think this over, which consists of gaining the advice of my friends. She leaves me messages on my AIM about how she wants a decision now, or wants to know what I am leaning towards. GOD IT IS SO ANNOYING! All I asked for was a week or 2, she has the exact amount of days it has been down. She told me today, it has been 4 days. Listen, YOU DUMPED ME, GET OVER IT! I want to be your friend, very much so, but you make it so damn hard! I don't want a relationship, not with you, not anymore! I want a friendship, hell I would love to have you as a very close friend until the end, but how can I? You keep approaching me with this high school drama # that I don't want to deal with. Be my friend, not my enemy. Thank you ATS I needed that!

Co-dependence is a perennial problem in relationships. People get entirely too hug up on eachother. I don't believe in having people you "can't live without". Why? Because one way or another, you're going to be seperate one of these days. You'll break up, you drift apart, one of you will die- something.

As for the phenomenon of the person who does the dumping having regrets- she obviously has to get over it, but I know where it comes from at least. If you end up in a relationship for 12+ months and it's basically an accident- nothing is wrong per se, it's just not so great that you necessarily want it for ever- people will get restless and want out to see if they can do better. The problem is they get discouraged intially and want to run back to what is familiar (you).
Another thing that happens is obviously fear of commitment. I never stopped loving my ex. She was my first love and I'll probably always miss her- but I realized that I was out of my freakin mind to be engaged at 18, so I dropped her. Of course it falls on me not to got nuts for her anymore. It's over- I made the choice, and it was a good choice- I just deal with the fact that you can't have everything. You make tradeoffs. Sounds like your ex hasn't learned yet.