Bisexual girlfriend issues

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posted on Apr, 9 2005 @ 12:03 AM
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Here is my dilema:
When I first met my girlfriend, she told me that she was bisexual, and that she has been for years. It sounds like she has had her share of experience with girls. Anyway, after we had been dating for a while, I told her that I wasn't comfortable with her "getting together" alone with other girls while we were within our relationship. I explained how that is cheating, and I even pulled out the card where you say "well how would you feel if I were to go sleep with other girls?" She claims (although i don't really believe her) that she wouldn't care. I have managed to get her to agree to not have sexual experiences with girls, but she can't understand why I would have a problem with it. Any ideas? Thoughts?




posted on Apr, 9 2005 @ 01:31 AM
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Just say she can sleep with other girls while you're present. That should make everyone happy!



posted on Apr, 9 2005 @ 08:30 AM
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Tell her that cheating is cheating, no matter what sex the other person is. It is emotionally draining, either way.



posted on Apr, 9 2005 @ 08:32 AM
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Originally posted by djohnsto77
Just say she can sleep with other girls while you're present. That should make everyone happy!


I agree this is the only right answer.



posted on Apr, 9 2005 @ 08:56 AM
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yeah...let her sleep with other women but only if she films it....thus you can watch whats going on and if you wish sell the movies on the web....a relationship with profit.....what a dream.



posted on Apr, 12 2005 @ 07:53 AM
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Just say she can sleep with other girls while you're present. That should make everyone happy!


No kidding...


My wife has some of those tendancies as well, but our agreement is that on such a rare occassion, she picks the gal and we share, (or she at least gets video)
I love my wife...



posted on Apr, 12 2005 @ 08:23 AM
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I know a couple that is no longer married because of a similar situation. At first it was good...everyone was happy. But the wife started to continue a relationship with one of their female partners and well neglected her husband, one thing led to another, they sold the house, split the pets and no longer talk.

An occassional escapade for both your enjoyment is fine, but if she is creating relationships with other females, then maybe you just make the decision easy for her and back out. I agree it would be cheating if that is the case.



posted on Apr, 12 2005 @ 05:56 PM
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Sometimes things may sound good and look good, for the male sexual imagination may even sound and look arousing but..............reallity strike.

Things are not as easy as you may think. When you are young and wild its one thing as soon as you get serious it doesn't.

Wait if you decide to get married and have family..........by then it may not sound good at all.

To tell you the truth, you better start looking somewhere else because she is not going to change, either love her the way she is or............find somebody more like you.

If you are very young is good to experience in safety and live life, but if you are older by now you should know better.

Sorry but this is life.

[edit on 12-4-2005 by marg6043]



posted on Apr, 12 2005 @ 06:40 PM
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Originally posted by marg6043
Sometimes things may sound look and for the male sexual imagination may even sound and look arousing but..............reallity strike.

Things are not as easy as you may think. When you are young and wild its one thing as soon as you get serious it doesn't.

Wait if you decide to get married and have family..........by then it may not sound good at all.

To tell you the truth, you better start looking somewhere else because she is not going to change, either love her the way she is or............find somebody more like you.

If you are very young is good to experience in safety and live life, but if you are older by now you should know better.

Sorry but this is life.



That is excellent advice. If someone I was dating told me that she didn't care if I 'got together' with other girls I would take that as a strong indication that she didn't care much about me in general. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that someone will eventually change.

Steve



posted on Apr, 13 2005 @ 12:07 AM
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Thanks Marg and sntx, I will definitely take your advice into consideration. The truth of the matter is I'm really not interested in an open (more people involved than the two of us) sexual relationship, so your words mean a lot to me.



posted on Apr, 13 2005 @ 12:27 AM
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Originally posted by el conquistador
Thanks Marg and sntx, I will definitely take your advice into consideration. The truth of the matter is I'm really not interested in an open (more people involved than the two of us) sexual relationship, so your words mean a lot to me.


Yeah, they are right. Cheating is cheating, and it just isn't fair to the other person in the relationship. Listen, if you can't keep your pants on for only that one person than don't bother getting into a relationship. You could have plenty of primiscious sex anywhere, but when it comes to relationships you need to buckle up and stay at home. Would you want something like that done to you? Of course this is exactly how your feeling, so I doubt these words help, but just make sure she knows that you want it to stay between yourselves or else she can take that walk. Let her know that this is how you feel, whether she likes it or not. And if you do go along this path, follow your words up with action. Don't just let her abuse you if she is unwilling to part from her sexual fetish.

Goodluck, relationships are always hard.



posted on Apr, 13 2005 @ 04:17 AM
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All I can say is I wish I had your problem.



posted on Apr, 17 2005 @ 08:11 AM
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Thanks Marg and sntx, I will definitely take your advice into consideration. The truth of the matter is I'm really not interested in an open (more people involved than the two of us) sexual relationship, so your words mean a lot to me.


If that is the case, then I'd highly recommend the above advice...she isn't for you man..



posted on Apr, 18 2005 @ 01:10 AM
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.
If you are looking for a traditional relationship, no, she is not for you.

If she is intelligent, exciting and interesting, then you will have to weigh it for yourself.

In the mean-time you probably should be practicing safe sex as well.

Marg is right, leopards/people don't change their spots. You either take them as they are or look for someone else who is suitable.

I'm gay male but a woman that gets excited enough about sex to track down another woman sounds pretty hot, But then im not shopping for a longterm relationship either.
.



posted on Apr, 18 2005 @ 02:08 AM
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Originally posted by slank
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leopards/people don't change their spots.


Well, I changed MY spots......At one stage in my life, I thort cheating was just 'fine'.....didn't care what my partner thort, It was fine with me, as long as I was happyAnd I defended my position to the death....

Well, I DID change, for Now I no longer cheat, I would not even think of it and would never be able to do it.

ELs......Your girlfriend seems to not realise this because perhaps she has never been cheated on???.....Being with other girls.....theres no difference.....that is a lame excuse......but its one that I used to make.....

I guess if she has agreed not to......then see how 'that' goes and try and focus on other things for now....Don't think any more about this bi-sexual thing, until something else happens....

If she loves you, then while she is with you, it should only BE you....



posted on Apr, 18 2005 @ 06:35 AM
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IMO you don't really have the right to impose restrictions on her.

She did state at the beginning of the relationship that she was bi, with that, did you ever feel that you would be able to completely satisfy her?



posted on Apr, 18 2005 @ 01:10 PM
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i fyou are looking for someone who shares a relatioship only with you, and this girl "cant' understand " that perrogative, than she is not the right person for you. People should be at the same level on what concernes to how to live a relationship, what is respectufull to eachother, waht is concented and whats not... if you cant agree on that, than its a waste of time.



posted on Apr, 18 2005 @ 10:42 PM
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Originally posted by Koka
IMO you don't really have the right to impose restrictions on her.

She did state at the beginning of the relationship that she was bi, with that, did you ever feel that you would be able to completely satisfy her?


that is the dumbest thing i have ever heard. So, when you get into a relationship you can't say you don't have the right to # other people? Perhaps you didn't view it that way, but you have every right to say NO!



posted on Apr, 19 2005 @ 02:29 AM
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These are personal opinions, so get off your high horse.

Did the original poster post just to get replies he wanted to hear?

Whichever way you look at it, a HE will never replace a SHE.

He's asking her to give up 50% of her sexuality, which he has no right to.

It sounds to me that she is far more secure and uninhibited than he is and the relationship was doomed from the start.



posted on Apr, 22 2005 @ 04:10 AM
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Originally posted by Koka
These are personal opinions, so get off your high horse.

Did the original poster post just to get replies he wanted to hear?

Whichever way you look at it, a HE will never replace a SHE.

He's asking her to give up 50% of her sexuality, which he has no right to.

It sounds to me that she is far more secure and uninhibited than he is and the relationship was doomed from the start.


Get off my high horse?!

Listen, she got into this relationship, true or false?

If she wanted both male and female than she didn't have to get into the relationship.

You are correct on your final analysis of the relationship being doomed, but wanting to cheat, or cheating, does not show signs of security. If she couldn't handle it, than that is her fault for getting into a relationship, NOT his!






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