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Furry Face Fellow

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posted on Apr, 6 2005 @ 10:04 PM
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I wanted to post this again, because I really wanted to get some feedback on it, and before it was buried in another thread and I'm not sure anyone saw it. I'm kind of new to posting my poetry here, so I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm a really big fan of writing children's poetry. Mixed with some mysyical, fantastical (is that's a word, if not, you get the idea) concepts. I've never really had any formal training in this area, so I really appreciate any feedback you guys are willing to give!
Thanks - Lenina
So here's the poem:

Furry Face Fellow

One empty night, in days of old
I travelled in the bitter cold
A beast I met along my walk
For many hours did we talk

He spoke of things I never knew
They were seen, he claimed by very few
He spoke of creatures taller than he
(though he was twice as tall as me)

He spoke of faries tickled pink
Who live under my kitchen sink
Of gnomes with their noses long
Who live for nothing but to sing a song!

He spoke of trees who grew wooden feet
Some of these creatures, I'd like to meet!
The beast looked at me with his furry face
And said that he must leave this place

He missed his home, much too dear
And longed for fairies songs to hear
On that note he turned around
His feet stomping on the ground

I watched him until he was out of sight
And hoped someday that I just might
Meet my furry friend again
I think that this is not the end


Lenina


[edit on 4/6/2005 by Lenina]




posted on Apr, 8 2005 @ 10:03 PM
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Ahh well, no feedback, I guess I'll have to try and do better next time!



posted on Apr, 8 2005 @ 10:29 PM
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I didn't read your introduction and skipped right to the poem. After reading it, I said to myself, "Hey this is an awesome children's poem." And since you said that's what you were going for, I think you definitely succeeded.


Nice work





And I see you're 19...I'm 18...you should U2U me sometime



Only joking

[edit on 8-4-2005 by Cutwolf]



 
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