Word to the fellow Carribean. Might even check out those CDs myself... tad expencive though.
What ever you do my friend, realize that there is always someone who is or at least has been through what you are experiencing. DONT and I repeat
cause I can relate to you DONT take ANY drugs they give you, by all means try but from my experience anti depressants are horrid things that mess with
your emotions, something to keep away from, if you feel sad find out the cause, don't take drugs to escape it.
I used to and sometimes still do suffer from anxitey and depression, I had a tough childhood and like you would spend time locked in my bedroom
talking to myself... not a sign of madness, best to air thoughts rather than keep them bottled up, the inspiration it brings is something I can't
describe. Letting things flow.
The thought of doing harm to others can come from love, a smothering love somethng I read up on once. I belive it can be love that you don't know how
to express, you don't want to hurt anyone you know that. It comes from anxiety which acts as a block to that love, it can also cause sexual problems.
There are people that have children and become scared that they might throw them in a dustbin (TV show on OC disorders) they told the person to sit
next to a dustbin with his child (whom he obviously loved to bits) and obviously he didn't want to do it. There are other reports where parents have
FEARED that they might smother their children.
''My God I think I might want to hurt my child''
Fear... there is love in the statement that surpasses the thought of actually doing harm to the child that they're so scared of hurting. ''How
could I think such a thing'' then comes into it... how could you think such a thing? Its because you don't want to... Contradiction in terms, being
afraid of doing harm means that you are having a moral conflict and don't even want to think about it.
What I think, and I'm always sure to state that this is all my OPINION. Is that you should continue seeing your doctors, all of them and prehaps find
someone that can guide you spiritually as well as emotionally... acupuncture to relive the anxiety, massages, chakra cleansing they all help. Too many
psycyatrists (what ever the label) focus on looking into a persons past way too much.
Its all about the present.
Thats my two tuppence, as we say in ye olde blighty.
Yeah I'm Jamaican but theres nothing wrong with a 'ickle mix an' blen'.
[edit on 10-4-2005 by An Entity]