Originally posted by infinite
thank you again for all the information you are giving me. As you can tell i havent been on for a while, probably wont be on as much as i need a little rest break to sort things out. Im not leaving ATS, just slowing down how much i post for a while....you can probably understand why from this thread

Thank you

I'm really sorry to hear that infinite I really hope you get back to your old self again, whatever that is. I truely feel for what you are going through and even though I cannot know how you feel, I can imagine. I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

Schizophrenia is a permanent illness

This is not true. Most never receive proper treatment. I had it, now it is gone. NO, meds. Just prayer.

infinite, I know how you feel. It is one of the most horrible feelings in the world, to be sane, and insane at the same time. Part of you is completly fine, and there is the other part, that is not. What really sinks, is down deep your fine, but you got problem in your head.

Please what ever you do not stop take your meds, untill you are cured. Many friends of mine would start to feel better, stop the meds, and then lose it. The meds help.

I will pray for you. Please go to the Eastern Orthodox Chruch. Just sit inside and pray, your feel better. Honest.

Originally posted by Balaams donkey
This is not true. Most never receive proper treatment. I had it, now it is gone. NO, meds. Just prayer.

You are right. Most never get proper treatment. because they can't. It still doesn't mean that schizophrenia has the cure. It doesn't. And if your boss or family member may stress you, you will get schizophrenia again and again. Therefore it's not gone, you just need a certain situation to enable it. And this is the fact making schizos extremely dangerous. The fact that they feel healthy, and for any reason they turn out to be violent killers.

Originally posted by infinite
im taking Amisulpride at the moment, i was taking Risperdal then Serenti. i really dont know how to cope anymore, life is extremly hard being paranoid about silly things, being scared to go out and even hearing things which are not there. call me insane, i dont care.........its sad that i cant remember the good old days when i was laughing and happy....those days are long gone

I'm sincerely sorry to hear this news Infinite and I am pulling for you. A lot of breakthrough research has occurred the past few years. The evil days of labotomy & electro-shock therapy are hopefully far far behind. My father, though a brilliant ship builder/writer, still gets episodes of the "horrors" from time to time but for the most part enjoys a pleasant, active life. Over the years he has shared with me what he was experiencing through his paranoia, delusions of persecution/grandeur, hearing voices, intrusive thoughts, (catatonia & word salad-being worst extremes),etc.. One thing I found very interesting is that ALL the 'voices' he has ever heard/experienced in his state are exclusively female and their power to influence rivals reality. His main paranoia/fear seems to have been always centered around: not just twisting peoples common words/phrases/expressions to be misinterpreted as "projected threats", but more specifically his "projected enemies-possessing capabilities of reading his thoughts" - in other words, an absolute perceived belief (though unproven), that another can possess the ability to read 'Their' Private Intrinsic Thoughts (AGAINST 'THEIR' WILL), hence the "threat" that can shackle the mind and reinforce their "out to get me" delusion. Besides being left-handed, another interesting peculiarity my afflicted family members exhibit is an almost esoteric meaning /symbolic fascination for the color Green, among other seemingly kaleidoscopic mosaic-type visions they occasionally experience of reality. I currently live with my very artistic brother, he takes 16+ medications (cocktail from hell) per day for the past 17 years for this illness, they have him labelled as a "fast cycler"-constantly adjusting med levels/introducing new pills due to his almost instant adaptive immunity to whatever they prescribe.

Structure is very important, so is setting a well thought-out routine. I find almonds have a good calming effect. I wish you the best and always know there is help and hope in ending this affliction.

.
Here are a few thoughts that occurred to me:

For a subject as serious as schizophrenia, I wouldn’t rely on the advice of people responding on a forum. Just scanning some of the replies so far, I can see there is some good advice and some bad. You need solid information. Doctor’s that specialize in this area would be a good source. A library could provide some background info, but try to stick to more recent books, as the thinking on this type of illness has changed considerably over time.

Local Doctors or counselors may also be able to provide information on local support groups. In such groups you might meet other people dealing with similar issues, and hear first hand what has helped them.

It is my understanding that medication is often crucial to controlling schizophrenia. It is commonplace for people to quit taking their meds and then have a relapse.

Most importantly, remember that help is out there, both for people suffering illness and for their families. Medication is important for controlling symptoms. Counseling is important for putting it all in perspective, dealing with your own thoughts and feelings as well as dealing with the reactions of other people.

It may sound trite to say, “Don’t be discouraged,” especially when things get difficult. But in this battle time is your friend. You can find good doctors, good medication and good counselors, and this battle can be won. You may even learn a few things about yourself and about life that the average person never sees.

I wish you all the best—strength, luck and perseverance. That and a little love and understanding is all you need.
.

thank you for all the support.
and the info you have given me aswell

I've done clinical rotations in a Psych ward, and have dealt directly with patients affected with schizophrenia, so if there are any particular questions regarding treatment, or anything else regarding the illness, feel free to u2u me, or just post them here, and i'd be more than happy to answer any of your questions.

I'd have to disagree with someone's prior post regarding prayer and attending the eastern orthodox church. at this point in the game, what you need is structure and rigidity- get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every day, eat your meals at the same time every day, and plan them out in advance. write it down if you need to. DO NOT, by any means, turn around and have a big spirtual change of heart until after you've been treated clinically for some time- this can cause such a big change in the thought process that it can quite literally cause a set back in your treatment.

I myself have never been personally affected by schizophrenia, outside of a clinical setting, but i've got a history of severe depression... so mark my words, just take some time out of life to focus on yourself and getting treatment, and things will work out.

Originally posted by sardion2000
I do not know that much about the biological stuff about the disease but I will share my experiences with someone whom I know who is Schizophrenic. Let's call him Bob, he is in his mid-30s and supposedly he did alot of LSD back in the late 70s early 80s and one day he took a huge dose stipped naked and started to do laps.....in the middle of winter. He was not the same since. Now he is a scary person to be around as he talks to himself and is just not right in the head. I'm sorry but I rarely interacted with this guy so I cannot say much more then that. Recently Bob stopped taking his medication and got arrested for sexual moelstation of a middle aged housewife(It is actually quite humourous when you hear her telling it now a few years later) and he got picked up and sent to the insane asylum. He's released now and in the custody of his Sister-in-law and Brother, he requires 24 hour care as he cannot be trusted to take his meds. His speech was very hard to understand, very bumbling and halting but mostly very well scared sounding. That is all I have I hope it helps.

Just a quick question. If the guy is in his mid 30's and he has a history of drug use back to the 70's, wouldn't that mean he started taking drugs around the age of 5? Not that I wouldn't believe that that is possible.

It should be considered that a schizo is not just great danger to the community, but he holds great danger to his own self. So it is an irresponsible thing to ask a schizo to 'help' himself. Relatives may help, those who are not sick, or else his illness will get worse and he will not be aware of it. He will not even know that he has just murdered someone on the streets.

So it is very annoying that a person with such a disease is asking for help, since this is the worst he can do to himself and to those around him. better note that.

I'll second Bobbo's recommendations and also the recommendation that you find someone to talk to. And if you're on meds, don't stop them without a doctor's advice. This can trigger even more problems.

There are a number of different therapies avaialble depending on what the diagnosis and severity is. Everyone's case is different; what worked for one person (cognitive therapy) may not work for another.

One of the big issues I see (this also happens to depressives and bipolars) is that if you are under stress or have changed life situations, then your meds may not work as effectively for you. You need contact with others, incuding people who will support you but who aren't afraid to say, "dude, you NEED to get your meds looked at!"

Originally posted by Bobbo
I'd have to disagree with someone's prior post regarding prayer and attending the eastern orthodox church. at this point in the game, what you need is structure and rigidity- get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every day, eat your meals at the same time every day, and plan them out in advance. write it down if you need to. DO NOT, by any means, turn around and have a big spirtual change of heart until after you've been treated clinically for some time- this can cause such a big change in the thought process that it can quite literally cause a set back in your treatment.

I've seen that in action, where someone very sincere proposed a religious solution (in one case, it included dropping all meds (for a severely bipolar person) and changing to a "natural diet." ) The outcome, as Bobbo and others can tell you, is not very cheery.

On the good side, I do know a number of schizophrenics who live normal lives thanks to proper treatment and meds. DO check on local regulations and see if you qualify for disability or other programs that may make your meds and treatment more affordable.

Schizophrenia has long been a 'blanket' diagnosis for many other mental illnesses. The DSM may have it down as a 'psychosis' , hearing voices, or other delusions. It may be a form of dopamine imbalance, or the mind not being able to have enough of a 'shield' against external stimuli. An affected person may not be 'emotionally' available or may not be able to be empathetic. Paranoid schizophrenia is of the delusional variety, while schizoid personality has the 'flat' effect and emotion inabilities.

Sorry if this is a little garbled, it is just from memory, not from a book-

I got dealt the full deck. I have schizo-affective disorder, which is a nice mix of schizophrenia (paranoid, not delusional) and bi-polar disorder combined.

Both my mother and father have had schizophrenic brothers, sisters, cousins, and uncles.

Several of them committed suicide. Gunshots and hangings. My father is "normal" and brilliant.

My mother developed BPD following my birth.

It is genetic. It destroys gray brain matter. It is a snail-slow form of Alzheimer's.

I am NOT possessed.
I am NOT a danger to society.
I am NOT severely retarded, though my IQ lowers a few points each year. (This is debated by my physicians and surgeons as either a result of multiple head injuries I sustained over the course of 3 years, or is a result of my illness and or/meds)

I was born a prodigy. I could play Mozart by age 5. I had a college-grade reading level in grade school. I had my first breakdown as a teenager. I attended several well-known Universities, my first acceptance into which was at age 16.

I have heard whispers and voices non-stop, 24/7 since the age of 12.

My medications do not stop the whispers and voices, my meds keep me from ACTING on them. They do not tell me to kill people. Most of the time they tell me how to survive.

"Brush your teeth."
"Time for bed."
"Go to the bathroom."
"Time for work."

On a bad day, yes, they tell me to kill myself. Luckily, I'm a Christian and it is against my morals (Schizophrenics do have morals and ethics, believe it or not), though sometimes they tell me that because God made me this way, God won't care if I do it.

So I have a large tattoo of Jesus on my right forearm. I had it put there so that I will never take a knife to myself. It is a reminder and an omen. STAY ALIVE.

Most schizophrenics have a 33/33/33 chance. 33% improve with medication and therapy, 33% remain the same, and 33% decline.

Those are tough odds.

My meds are free. Yes, I am under the thumb of the State, but that is a trade-in for free meds and healthcare. I am disabled. I can not work a 40-hour week.

I'm constantly paranoid. As of this very moment, I am paranoid that my S/O of four years is currently engaged in an activity with another woman, though (from three years' experience of thinking this thought every effing day) he is currently working is arsse off. If I was not on a slew of meds, I would get in my car and drive to his workplace. That is what my paranoia is "telling" me to do. It is because of my meds that I am able (instead) to sit back, read, write, and keep it in the back of my mind.

Five years ago,I was an independent contractor in Washington, DC. I was able to maintain myself by a wing, a prayer, and lots of cocktails.

I can now only work a 20 hour week. Eight hours at work is excruciating. I have a few moments of humour, but the rest of the day I am usually mute.
This is not because I am doped up, it is because I am losing the ability to communicate verbally.

Writing is my primary form of communication. My journals have been scrutinized by doctors and researchers.

I was first diagnosed correctly by a world-reknown researcher in Washington DC.

My meds were finally perfected by a county doctor here in North Dakota.

I live a semi-normal life. I have my quirks:

I leave cupboards and drawers wide open all day (why shut them?)
My bedroom has to smell like flowers
My house has to be immaculate
I eat the same food every day for months
I rarely speak to anyone, including my family.
I visit my family (same area code) on average, twice a year.
I automatically awake at 4AM, no matter how much sleep I get.
Every day has to include the same habits at the same times.
Any change of habit nags at me for a couple of hours.

I also engage in "normal" activities:
Yoga
Martial arts.
Shopping
Writing
Driving
Making jokes.
Laughing
Crying
Non-violent "tiffs" with my S/O
Dreaming
Being in love
Wearing whatever I feel like

My day-to-day life is outlined in my blog.
A leading psychiatrist in my state is waiting to interview me.
I also get interviewed and "examined" by college interns and researchers, with my permission, of course.

Blind people learn to see without eyes.
So have I.

Dot.

Thank you for sharing your experiences dotgov101. Even if you hadn't mentioned growing up as a prodigy, after reading your above post, it is odvious you are brilliant and possess an indomitable spirit when faced against any adversary - real or intangible. I'm sorry to hear you may be experiencing a communication breakdown speech-wise, but the level of articulation you achieve in your diction (as indicated in the above post), further shows me that you are most likely in possession of an acumen beyond that of your psychiatric reviewers, which is indeed sometimes the case, although you understand and welcome the importance, necessity, and validity an outside opinion provides in obtaining the required medicine. One thing's for certain, your eloquence surpasses most who have a lot less difficulties to deal with and is an inspiration to others who might be facing similar challenges. That which does not kill us, truly makes us stronger and I'll end this post with a relevant quote by E.H. Chapin:
"Out of suffering
have emerged the strongest souls,
the most massive characters
are seared with scars"

``

yo infinite,
the dotgov101 and Vajrayana posts sure set a high hurdle,
i can only duck under the bar, hey- thats life.
~~~~~~~~~~

I found Amorymeltzers' link to Wiki, very good info.
(i got into reading it for 30+ minutes already)

Particulary the Paragraph referencing the viewpoints of R.D. Laing
(wow, its been so long ago when i 1st read Laing)...the era when I was
really into discovering/understanding what Schizo meant & how I was
going to cope in the coming ?decades?. That was to become a Quest for me, back then...
And i see, your thread started on the 24th

I long ago decided that the schizo diagnosis did not make 'Me'
just so-much Flotsam & Jetsam in the Sea of Life

I found lots of strategies out there,
which ones depends on many factors, motivations, abilities and so on...


enjoy your journey

Originally posted by Vertu
It should be considered that a schizo is not just great danger to the community, but he holds great danger to his own self. So it is an irresponsible thing to ask a schizo to 'help' himself. Relatives may help, those who are not sick, or else his illness will get worse and he will not be aware of it. He will not even know that he has just murdered someone on the streets.

So it is very annoying that a person with such a disease is asking for help, since this is the worst he can do to himself and to those around him. better note that.

I find this post totally ignorant. It is a major step for someone affected with this illness to a) admit they have it, and b) to seek treatment for it. Infinite should be applauded for his own efforts.

FYI, Vertu, we DENY ignorance here, not condone it. Please do some research before you offer any suggestions in a situation like this.

Vajrayana,
Good Grief, nice writing. I did even care what you were saying, I just enjoied reading it. Ahhhh.....like a fresh summer breaze. I'm going back to school.

Vertu comments, must be ignorance, to say it is incurable. Where is this written? When you say it is fixed, it destroys any chance of change or hope.

dotgov101
You are not possessed, but you hear voices, telling you to do things, like kill yourself. Why can't it be spirits? Most of the mircels Jesus did were casting out devils. You here voices, you take drugs, the voices don't go away, because, maybe they are not your voices in your head?
You say your a Christian, but it can't be devils? could somebody give me a reasonable reply to this question?
Not insults, and because you say so. It cannot be devils because.... I am not attacking, I want to know why you think this, in a friendly way.

My medications dont stop the voices, the talking, whispers and sometimes screaming are still there. The medication just stops me from doing something stupid, im fighting the urges now to take a knife to myself. My bedroom curtains haven't been opened for months cause im sacred that people are watching me, im very scared to even leave the house.

i cant describe to you what i am feeling, all i know is that there is a horrible thing inside me

Infinite, i'm so sorry to hear about this, I can sympathise with you as I have been diagnosed with schitzophrenia, yet its under control. I do not and never had heard voices, but its been diagnosed with 'psychosis' which is a form of schitzophrenia. 4 years ago, I too would close the curtins so no one would see inside, I would not go on these types of forums because i believed certain people would track my moves on the net.

However some people, like myself get to a point where you go 'so what'. I still have irrational thoughts every now and then, but I can now differentiate that its an irrational thought to a normal one. One day, maybe not soon, you'll open those curtins and say 'so what if you're watching - I need to get on with my life', and then be proud of yourself that you are not like everyone else.

I believe my different style of thinking makes me special in a way, now, I am proud to be different.... Just don't act on those impulses, think about the ones who love you, and that they truly care.

I'm on medication called 'abilify' it is the best medication for psychosis apparently...... when i'm not on them, i talk my ass off, talking about conspiracies like its my religion to my family. When i take it, They know i'm into it, but I don't bother them with it as i know they're not interested.

Schitzophrenia is an inbalance between the left and right brain hemispheres. From the work of stewart swerdlow, you should learn to balance your T-BAR. This is a visualisation where the pineal gland is balanced and causes the left and right brain to to be balanced also. The pineal gland sits between both hemispheres. You can find his work at www.expansions.com - do a search on T-BAR.

Hope everything goes well for you, do not give up!

Kind Regards
Merger