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poem2--the pressure

page: 1

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posted on Mar, 23 2005 @ 08:42 PM
Denise quit school
in the middle of May
with just two weeks
till summer getaway.
Her grades were good
and she seemed okay,
"She just wasn't cool,"
is what her peer groups say

But Denise was cool
she just couldn't play trends,
and that's the game
that wins you friends

it's a peer group game
what you wear
and who you know,
what you drive
and where you go
it's not real fun
this peer group show,
but it's for real
and it's about dough

When I look back
it's still depressing
remembering friends
that needed impressing,
and that you could mean less
than how you were dressing
the whole damn game
is based on impressing

When a little girl
becomes a teen
the game can start
with "seventeen,"
the teenage bible,
a magazine
on how to dress, how to preen;
that can get real mean

If you're left out
of this trendy game
your mom and dad,
can see your pain
and wonder if
it's them you blame

A reality, soon hits home
if longtime friends
no longer phone
or start to talk
in a different tone.
Before you know it
you're all alone
and every kid's glance
cuts to the bone

Dinese got tire
of all the crap
the ups and downs
of that two-faced trap.
Her life started
to unwrap,
and her mind said "quit,"
before I snap".

So, it was pain that made
Denise quit school,
pain from a game
whose rules are cruel,
that pain of today
that brings the tears
and overpowers threats
of lost careers.
She'd rather face
uncertain years
than the daily pain
of those silent jeers.

posted on Mar, 29 2005 @ 05:20 PM
I really like this poem, and respect that you can maintain a consistant rhyme pattern. Hope you don't mind if my responce is in the form of free verse poem:

This was the girl
no one really knew
She went home
to cry
and would sometimes think
about taking her life
she just couldn't live
with her present situation
with failure being
her present realization

There was too much
to carry on one back
and not enough
to hide behind,
when all her friends left
so it is not a surprise
that when she saw
everyone leave
she gave up

this was the girl
that nobody knew

posted on Mar, 30 2005 @ 09:50 AM
Tom--What happened to her. Did you know her. Nice poem, makes me want to know he. don't you wish we could save the ones we see in pain.

posted on Apr, 6 2005 @ 12:27 PM
excellent work.
I love the poem alot, as you can tell, im a huge fans of when it comes to poems. I always read the poems on ATS
check out mine too!


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