posted on Mar, 21 2005 @ 05:55 AM
My Dark Soul
A sharp light pierces a wide open eye. The eye dark, scared and dilated stares at the light. The face owning the eye is just a dark pool to the side
of the fearful eye. The eye calls wordlessly for mercy, yet shows no reason to expect any. The bruised mouth on a partially charred face contorts
into a shrill scream.
The resounding scream and the light of morning through the crack in the curtains awaken Doc in his sweat drenched bed. "Who was that screaming?”
he wonders to himself. The sound of that scream seems so familiar, yet so out of reach and the eye was his? Why? Sweating and shivering from the
cold damp air of the otherwise darkly lit room. The air brushing against his hot and sweaty body as if cubes of ice.
Doc *looking about* tries to set up, peering into the darkness of the room looking for the source of the scream he thought he heard, and had awakened
him. Doc *speaks* who is there? , as he slides his hand under his pillow in hopes of finding his side arm which awaits there for him faithful and
true, ready to strike on command. Who is there, *rustle sounds in the distance* WHO IS THERE!? Doc repeats again.
No answer…… Doc *grabbing his blue steel Desert Eagle .50 semi auto hand gun w/ laser pointer and flash light attachments* I am only going to ask
you one more time who is it , who is in this room? *rustle sounds* I have a gun and am willing to use it , now who ever you are you better be gone
before I count to ……..*scurry, shuffle, thud*.
Doc *scanning comes briefly across a mirror not hitting it directly with the light of his weapon so as not to be blinded by the reflection of the
light* Hello who are you , *scratching sound from behind the mirror* Hey you don’t want to tangle with me! Whoever you are you better leave!
*Nothing* Doc looks at the mirror again, then begins to scan left of it when out of the side of his eye he sees a screaming face in the mirrors
reflection. *responding with the quickness of battle conditions Doc swings the weapon back right and squeezes off a round before he even knew he had
Doc *sitting in a pool of sweat in his bed relaxes* Not again, *Not Again Doc says, wiping sweat from his eyes* Get it together man! Turning to
the night table he sees it a, tattered and torn picture of her the frame long ago destroyed and the picture removed.
If you don’t get it together you’re never going to get her back, she has left this world but I know she will be waiting for me on the other side
unless I end up doing something stupid and end up in Hell. She is in heaven now I know she is, but I will never get to see her at this rate.
Doc sets on the bed in the pool of sweat. *day dream state wavy fade out*
The lovely women and Doc setting on the California coast, Doc knows her name, and how much she wants to share his life. Her name was Bunny, he always
loved that name.
It dripped of innocents *thinking Doc wonders why she ever thought she wanted him*.
Bunny didn’t know what Doc was like behind the veil of privacy that kept his career separate from their love life. Doc wanted it that way, but he
knew soon he would have to let her in. She was already pressuring him as it was, with little nudges in the ribs. She often asked how I know you are
who you say you are, *Doc uneasy just chuckles the question away*. Doc replies to her, what do you mean we have no secrets……Right?
Bunny just frowns and looks away, *fighting her urge to get answers for fear of loosing Doc* No I guess we don’t have secrets do we? I just wanted
to know that I wasn’t being left out of the areas you obviously don’t wish to discuss. Doc replies what areas are those? Bunny says you never talk
about the important things, Why? Doc knowing this was a last ditch attempt by the suggestive nature of the statement like as if to indicate a
frustration that was reaching a point of explosion the point Doc thought would end it all.
Doc says Bunny, what is it you think I’m keeping from you? Bunny replies * in a coy and whimpering some what powty tone* Why don’t you talk about
your family Doc, or your job? Doc I know things are not easy for you sometimes, it is obvious in your face when I bring it up, just as your face looks
now, I ……*Doc interrupts her* Bunny what do you want to know about my job? *Doc totally omitting the mention of family hoping she doesn’t catch
the omission* *Bunny noticing the omission but just glad to get a bone thrown her way* Says well what type of work do you do for the Federal Police
Forces, is it scary, interesting, fulfilling, what do you do and how does it make you feel at the end of the day..
Whew Doc *sighs out loud* thinking to himself maybe this will be easier to handle than I thought, Well Bun…… Bunny stops Doc wait before you start
you aren’t doing this because you feel forced? Do you really want me to know? Doc replies well I don’t like bringing home work, I did that once
when I was with my ex-lover and fellow officer and well it ruined our relationship and I don’t want us to end up that way. Bunny says Doc I love you
and it is going to hurt me more to not know your inner most thoughts and fears, as well as the passions that seem to drive you. I knew you where and
are living a very dangerous life…….and you know what, It doesn’t matter I just want to be included. I just want to be part of your life not an
outside observer. Doc Says *hesitates shortly* Bunny
I do love, and I want to tell you, but I…………………….
*CRACK, RUMBLE, ROAR, GRUMBLE* Doc is ripped from his waking dream just as he is about to tell Bunny what she wants to know. *Doc feeling a vibration
deep inside him* *Flash of light, crack, rumble, roar, again,* Startled Doc swings his fire arm in the direction of the sound which is the window with
only a sliver of visibility between the make shift curtains, *a severe thunderstorm* Doc relaxes and lowers his weapon.
That window, the window that started his own personal Hell and the war, the window that opened the story that would script Doc’s life for the next
seven years. Doc rises from the bed still nude as no one is around to get dressed for the nearest in habitant left in the city is in a high rise hotel
about 40 clicks east of Doc’s fortress. The fortress more a prison than a home only had a window no doors from here Doc ran his operations day to
day. From here Doc watched California fall in ruin this window, this solitary window was the only thing keeping his pain in and the world, what world
was left out?
Doc looks out the window onto a devastated city, no longer a city now, but an island since the big one seven years, three months, and 2 days. Yes Doc
remembers the day because that is the day she died, she promised never to leave him. Doc knew that was a promise neither of them could make, but his
heart was irrational and couldn’t let go of the promise she made. His heart that solitary sound thumping in his chest that for the greater part of
his day and nights only reminded him that this was all real and happening to him.
The city was once called San Diego; he was stationed here before way before his life fell
apart and the world turned upside down. It seemed like he had been here at this Naval Port for a life time. The port another fine testament to days
lost and the crumbling ruins of the Government that once was here to protect freedom, but now the Government has become the enemy of peace, a Police
State, festering corrupted and a house of war mongers is what it had become.
Doc starts to look off into the distance and drifts off inside mind, his mind a tormented collection of neurons and chemicals racing back and forth,
the only occupant memories that can still survive here. Memories of her memories of the way things all ended. Doc reached behind him self and snagged
the arm of the tattered mangy chair he sat in all the time just to stare out the window and remember.
Doc sat down and like all the times before began reliving the vivid, horrific almost suffocating memories of things that had happened. He seemed
almost transfixed one the window not seeing through it but actually at the glass it’s self, and it held horrific pictures. He couldn’t turn away
though, he had to stay he had to relive it every time, because she was always there in the visions or waking dreams he saw in the window.
The dreams or reflections of his soul he saw in the glass seemed to be becoming dimmer
less detailed. He didn’t want to miss a minute of it because as soon as it faded he would have lost her again and he couldn’t bear that. Doc
begins to drift thru time, disoriented and incoherent mostly. The visions were not what they were before, and this dream this horrific vision was no
different. Doc sets and concentrates on the coming dreams hoping today wasn’t the day she was lost to him, yearning for the softness of her voice
the beauty of her spirit and the warmth of her touch.
Doc arrives at the first destination on what was to be a ride of living hell and agony of loss. He sees it, the place and time was about 4 months
after the disaster and the loss of his love. The police state government still not in place and anarchy was in rule, men and women and children
walking around every where, this was the spot, this is where the face and screams from his night mare lived
[edit on 21/3/2005 by drbryankkruta]