Manipulating the Narcissist - Sam Vaknin.

Actually run as fast as possible.

What's it all about?

Had a best friend suddenly "ghosting" (ignoring) you?

You have no idea why, why am I in all this drama?

Why am I being lied about?

Sweetie, it's not about you - you're a victim of narcissistic abuse.

For the lecture please see: www.youtube.com...

a reply to: halfoldman

Why would people hate me and believe all these lies about me?

It's because you became a target of a borderline/narcissist.

It means you're probably very empathic - those are their victims.

They will Kill You - given a chance, oh yes.

How can you defend yourself?

Don't argue, don't reason.

Just move forward with your own life.

Sam Vaknin is a fascinating character. He has himself been diagnosed as a psychopath and a clinical narcissist -- facts he freely admits.

Thus his writings on narcissism and psychopathy are a kind of "self-dissection." There is a Hannibal Lector type quality to all this that is interesting.

A documentary on him called "I, Psychopath" was made that is worth watching.

The Narcissist is very similar to a cult.
Love-bombing phase.
And then begins the devaluation phase, until a discard.

Most normal people, or "emapths" can't understand it at all.

Why am I suddenly being discarded?

Actually an evil, nasty thing to do to somebody.

Hence I say, stay away.

The first signs that you are targeted: pathological lies and reinventions of the past.

But you were always at our street party on New Years, for example.

Nope never heard of it.

What? You're nuts we have that party every year ...

Meanwhile I really never heard of it.

That is called "gaslighting" - making you doubt your own sanity.

"Narcissistic supply" is a useful concept. These people crave attention and affirmation like drug addicts. Once you are no longer a good source of "supply" you are dropped like a sack of potatoes.

In that case the narcissist knows exactly what they are doing to you - they're trying to make you crazy, like them.

Misery loves company - come down to hell and be a narcissistic demon like me.

In that case play their game, don't say those New Year parties never happened.

Play it further: "Oh you mean the New Year party where you showed your naked tits and ass to everyone"!

Don't expect a reply.

The sad thing about it, no matter which form of resistance, they have already dragged you down into their world.

a reply to: Never Despise

Yip, and to add, it's a fallacy that narcissistic supply must always be positive.

It can also be degrading or devaluing the source.

What did you do according to sets of rules only they made-up and comprehend?
Nothing.
But got you wondering.

Why do empaths trigger, or even attract narcissists?

One explanation:

The silent treatment:

If you do ANYTHING as well as or better than a narcissist, they will get sullenly and bitterly jealous. If you are less skilled in anything, on the other hand, they will look down on you condescendingly and disrespectfuly.

You basically can't win on that one. Like so much else with narcissists. The old double bind is their default modus operandi.

originally posted by: halfoldman
Most normal people, or "emapths" can't understand it at all.

Why am I suddenly being discarded?

Actually an evil, nasty thing to do to somebody.

Hence I say, stay away.

I have found out most people that call themselves "empths" are most likely to be a narcissist.

For some reason they will latch themselves to that word, "empath".

They will tell you they have more feelings than you. They will tell you they are "special".

Never trust anyone that calls themself an "empath".

a reply to: halfoldman

Wish I had been aware of the signs before I married one. And let him suck my life force away, and bind me to him via 4 children.

What is a "flying monkey"?
The wicked witch in the movie "Oz": fly monkeys fly.

The "flying monkeys" essentially do the biding of the narcissist.

They enable and sustain the mental illness of the narcissist.

They spy on you, and if possible, they make you feel terrible.

They are the "airforce" for the narcissist.

Can this all spread - mentally?

Oh yes, the narcissist or borderline is a victim, and they want everyone to be a victim.

It's all to make you start thinking and behaving like they do.

In fact, since they think they are perfect, they're probably rationalizing that they are doing you a favor.

They're changing you into them.

From: Come Dine With Me.

Sore loser anyone?
Taxi!