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I Apologize and I Love All of You

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posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 10:31 PM
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Thanks for the message the last few days have been intense.

Love yah too and your reflection about your wife has me thinking about my own relationship and how to improve.


I quit smoking 9 years ago but vaped a few years in there.

How I quit smoking was my wife put my toddler up to telling me I stank every time he saw me smoking. It broke my heart and will quickly.



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 10:46 PM
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Your all over the place. Do you even understand you?



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:05 PM
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Don't worry Muzzle, I don't listen to you anyway. Maybe that is the problem, the only way you can get noticed is to get people riled up. Naw, can't be the case, otherwise people would be upset at you

Just kidding......but am I kidding when I said the above or when I said just kidding.



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:17 PM
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edit on 5-11-2020 by Rikku because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:26 PM
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originally posted by: CopeLongCut
Your all over the place. Do you even understand you?


I understand that I cover a lot of ground.

Why would I want to stay in one spot? You can't grow change or develop while stationary.




posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:35 PM
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edit on 5-11-2020 by Rikku because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:38 PM
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No complaints here.a reply to: muzzleflash



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:45 PM
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originally posted by: rickymouse
Don't worry Muzzle, I don't listen to you anyway. Maybe that is the problem, the only way you can get noticed is to get people riled up. Naw, can't be the case, otherwise people would be upset at you

Just kidding......but am I kidding when I said the above or when I said just kidding.


Hahaha

Umm I'd say 3 out of 4 of my best received threads here were actually fully intellectual and didnt involve too much emotion.

I do indeed make some emotional explosions though. Pretty regularly my whole life.

I don't really seek attention per se, for example in real life I avoid everyone. I don't know anybody really.

Normally I hate attention because I feel like ppl judge me and look down on me when I know they shouldn't. Ironically I do that to them preemptively due to my expectations. So I'm guilty of what I assume they are guilty of - prejudice.

It depends on the day or my mood to my reasons for writing something here.

For example I wrote this thread for me, because I was suffering with my anger and had to release it finally and conquer it. If that can help y'all do the same Great. Glad I could help. Thats why I share.

In contrast I wrote the flat earth thread a few weeks ago purely just to show how dumb we all are myself included lol. Also it felt totally rad doing that.

The reasons I would write an occult thread were to rub it in every occultists face that they knew next to nothing and I put them to shame by my nature.

Most of these threads are disciplinary in a way. I'm revealing something as a spanking. Not for me to be cool but for me to be feared and to make them repent of their ways. A lil macabre I admit.

It's a bit wacky too because my motivation is pain and sorrow and misery. I want to discipline everyone until I see major changes.

What I am discovering though is that I need to discipline me more because I'm losing control and must stop before I become a complete irrevocable monster.

I am changing.
What I write tomorrow will still be in my style but there will be differences based on my learning better over time.

I'm just a lil baby surrounded by darkness and this is the beginning of the rest of my life.

I have a chance to do Right and turn it all around. To face the BS inside me and start cleaning house.

The problem is in me.
So is the solution.

I'd still like a hug tho if that's ok.



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:48 PM
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originally posted by: CopeLongCut
No complaints here.a reply to: muzzleflash



I got a good one for ya tho.

No one truly knows themselves.
Every day we uncover new parts of ourselves and learn new things about who we are.

Self discovery is a never ending journey and the destination is certainly the journey itself.

Dont forget that.



posted on Nov, 5 2020 @ 11:55 PM
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a reply to: muzzleflash

I think that you are there now. Where i once was. Regarding this issue at hand now, regarding other things, you most likely have advanced way further than i ever will.

You are committing a murder. One will survive, you, or hatred. And one, one has to go and never return.

I bet that just like i do, you remember that tiny boogeyman... always sitting next to you... following you everywhere. It smelled really bad and it refused to be washed. Maybe you did not know it's name. Then it learned to speak a little bit, and told you "My name is hate"

Then you started to feed it. You fed it with your own negative thought patterns. And the hate boogeyman grew, and it grew, and it grew. Eventually, it was bigger than you, and made a threat to swallow you whole. You refused that to happen, and now you are murdering it.

With writings like your OP, you are winning.

It is not going to be all candy and roses and dancing after that. Disliking things remain. Bitterness can show up sometimes... but hate and hatred? vanished. Vanished, dead, and gone, for all eternity.



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 12:00 AM
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I wake up every morning. Just like that. You can not forget that, that has not never been forgotten. a reply to: muzzleflash


edit on 6-11-2020 by CopeLongCut because: It just is.

edit on 6-11-2020 by CopeLongCut because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 12:37 AM
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Youre a good egg Muzz. I havent really spoken with you in a very looong time. Yrs ago we used to talk on ATS chat more than in threads. Youve always been too hard on yourself and always searching for something. Those arent bad things.. not a negative against you or anything. Just an observation. I DO wish you werent so prone to beating yourself up so much.



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 12:58 AM
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a reply to: MapOfNowhere

A lil Shadow boxin tech for ya:

Water fist breaks rocks and feet of wind make a hurricane.

Feng Shou

I be a soft as snow but this is a blizzard yo.


The techniques are designed to use "Jin" rather than "Li" or muscle power. "Li" is muscular strength, like one would to use to push a car. It is contrasted by "Jin," the energy one sees when a sitting cat flashes out a paw to slap a bothersome dog. In the case of Li, there is usually a drawing back of the arm and a tensing of muscular strength as it shoves out with whatever force resides in the muscles. Jin, on the other hand, snaps out without preparation, completely relaxed and impacting with greater force because it moves faster than Li, like being hit with a fastball.


That shadow just can't seem to get me as I move clockface on these four lotus petals.

I'm the Mist he missed and I always counter with a Kiss. You know he's pissed cuz he hissed as he got dismissed.

I found my Dantian in Misogi as the waterfall flow over me and I center my Chi on bringin that shadow another piece of me.

I shake that Spirit till I clear it.
This ain't a lil murder - it's a massacre and Im filling the ditches with my demons.

Wholesale slaughter and laughter.
That's what I'm after.



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 01:08 AM
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posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 01:10 AM
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My demons can definitely kick your demons asses...

rawr!!



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 01:19 AM
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a reply to: Advantage

Hi there lol.

I miss ya!
**Giant hugs**



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 01:33 AM
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a reply to: Advantage

ATS chat...

If they had kept that going it would be the place to chill still.

Sigh.... The owners of this site have sadly neglected it.



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 01:57 AM
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I may be a Scorpion with a spooky flaming skull but when I finish him I'll be killing em with kindness.

The fatality of hate is the birth of


Awwwh

edit on 11/6/2020 by muzzleflash because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 03:22 AM
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a reply to: muzzleflash

I think elections made you soft.



posted on Nov, 6 2020 @ 06:36 AM
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a reply to: muzzleflash








 
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