Of course I don't. Of course you don't. No one wants to die. As the old saying goes, there's no future in it.
But that's what I am hearing lately, from people of all walks of life. People are afraid of dying from the Kung Flu. People are afraid of dying from
a violent mob. People are afraid of dying from a cop with a gun. That's what it all comes down to... and it's what most of our political arguments
come down to. People do not want to die.
So, in that spirit, I would like to offer some advice.
First of all, quit worrying about it constantly. I have news for everyone reading this: you will
die. It's gonna happen. No one gets to skip
that part of life. Some of us will get there sooner than others. It sucks, but no one can change it. So read the rest of my suggestions to maybe not
speed that unpleasant occurrence up, and learn to live. There is a lot, and I mean a LOT
more to living than not dying.
Second of all, look around. Yeah, I said it, just look around. That phone in your hand is not your world. Lost in daydreams is no way to go through
life. There are things happening around you that might be important. Don't miss them. If you are walking along and see this long stretch of asphalt
with big machines moving up and down it at high speed, look down it each way and see if one of those big machines is going to get in your way before
you step on it. The big machine might not stop. If some dude is screaming with a gun in their hand, go the other way. If there's an unruly group of
people ahead of you, maybe you should think about being somewhere else.
Oh, but many will say "it's my right to be here!" or "It's my right to cross the street in this crosswalk!" Sure is. I'm not going to stop you.
But that right is not body armor. It will not stop the semi from turning your body into a greasy spot. It will not stop some fool bent on causing
trouble to be unable to hit you with the blunt force object of their choosing. So, yeah, I know it sucks, but if someone does not want to die they
should watch their surroundings and take actions accordingly.
Now let's talk about respect for others. You see, we all got about the same general type of body issued to us at birth. The thing that will kill you
will probably kill me too, and vice versa. Most people are decent enough to understand that there is something inherently wrong with just killing
others, so most people will not do things to you that will likely kill you unless you do things to them that will likely kill them. So the trick here
is to not do things to others (or threaten to do things to others) that will likely kill them. That might make those others try to kill you back. They
might even succeed.
That goes for being sick, too. We all know there is this thing called "sick." Sometimes people get so sick they die. So maybe, if you feel sick
today, you shouldn't get too close to other people. That used to, believe it or not, be expected. If I was sick but still had to be around other
people, I would tell them I was sick and warn them to not get too close to me. After all, they might not be looking at what is around them.
The cops are a special case of this. Now, what i am about to say is probably going to sounds crazy at first, but hear me out: there are these things
called "laws." They are rules people are not supposed to break. Yeah, I know, sounds crazy, but they actually exist! Most of them are pretty
reasonable. They are things like "don't beat up people and take their stuff," or "don't set things on fire that aren't yours"... stuff like
that. The reason cops exist is because people sometimes break those rules. The cops' job is to stop people from breaking the laws.
I know, it's getting complicated, but I promise it's not made up.
So when you see a cop, you should remember that one of those laws is that people are not supposed to hurt cops. Actually, people are not supposed to
hurt any other people, but there's a special law just for cops. If you do something that could hurt a cop, you are probably going to be caught doing
it since the cop is right there and it's his job to stop you. Since cops are people too, cops don't want to die any more than you do. Cops also
carry things around that can kill you. They probably won't use them on you unless you try to hurt them, so it's best to not try to hurt them.
Sometimes a cop will find you doing something that breaks a law. That does not mean they want to kill you. They just want to stop you from breaking
the laws. When that happens, it is a good idea to stop breaking the law. It might sound reasonable to try and stop the cop from trying to stop you
from breaking the law, but it's not. The cop can call in more cops and they can kill you. Remember, the whole idea is to not get killed, right? You
do that by stopping what you are doing and not making the cop think he needs to kill you. It's also a good idea to not be holding a weapon. If you
are, it's best to drop it, step away from it, and hold your hands up so the cop can see you are not trying to hurt him.
I told you it would sound crazy.
I'm seeing people do a lot of things that will make them get killed and they seem to do these things because they don't want to get killed. That is
what some of us call "stupid." Stupid is not a good thing. It is a very bad thing. One should always try to not be stupid. It's usually OK if you
slip up and be stupid from time to time, but too much is a very bad thing. Sometimes being too stupid can even get you killed. So you should always
try to not be stupid. If a lot of people are telling you that you are being stupid, it's probably a good idea to stop doing what you are doing. You
know, just to be sure.
Here's a short list of things that are stupid. It doesn't include everything, but if you see yourself doing some of these things, please stop.
You're being stupid.
- Playing in a street while traffic is trying to get through.
- Asking people to shoot you because they have a gun.
- Trying to beat people up because you're angry.
- Fighting with one or more cops.
- Pointing a gun at someone to scare them.
- Calling other people names because you don't like them.
- Taking things that do not belong to you.
- Destroying things that do not belong to you (this includes setting them on fire).
- Throwing things at people.
- Sticking your tongue in an electrical socket.
- Eating things which are not food (even if someone on YouTube did it).
- Jumping into a fire.
- Jumping off things that are really high.
- Trying to pet most wild animals.
- Standing in front of heavy equipment that is running.
I know all these things sound like fun, but they can all get you killed. So if you
really don't want to die, try your best to not do them.
This Public Service Message brought to you by the Americans for Stopping Stupid Stuff Organization (ASSSO).