When I was a boy, I was transmogrified into Walks-Far Horse and exiled to the wilderness.
Walking along one day under Brutal Sun, I happened upon Standing Bear and his Wagon of Too Many Things.
"Hallo, Standing Bear!" whinnied I.
"Hallo, Walks-Far Horse," growled he. At short length, his face contorted with ill-intention, and he continued, "A horse such as yourself looks
incomplete without a fine wagon such as this." He nodded toward his wagon.
"That Wagon has Too Many Things," I balked. "I think I'm fine without it."
"But I cannot pull it! Everyone knows Bears are not beasts of burden. I am the noblest creature in the wilderness - the task is beneath me!"
"You are the noblest, and are you not also the most powerful?" I reasoned.
"Of course I am! Only Old Man Thunder is more powerful!" he blustered.
"Then surely pulling your wagon is a trivially easy task," I rejoined. Standing Bear's demeanor changed.
"Look here, Walks-Far Horse. You're going to pull this wagon because I say so."
"What if I should gallop away from you and your wagon this instant?" I asked.
"Useless. Every creature fears me and will inform me of your whereabouts when asked. In a matter of time, I will hunt you down and tear you to
pieces," he snarled. "Any other questions?"
After thinking it over, I said, "I concede that you have the upper hand. I will do as you say." I yoked myself and began pulling his wagon under
We walked and walked. All the while, I worked to contrive a stratagem by which I could be rid of Standing Bear and his Wagon of Too Many Things.
At length, we came to a ravine. An idea struck me! I feigned excitement, surveying the surroundings and whinnying and tossing my tail and stamping my
"What's the matter with you?" asked Standing Bear.
"I know this place!" I replied, still feigning excitement. "Yes! If one descends this ravine and waits with their eyes closed, Old Man Thunder will
test their spirit! He will come roaring toward them, and if they remain perfectly steadfast, neither flinching nor opening their eyes, he will bestow
upon them power equal to his own! I think I'll wander down and--"
"You will do nothing of the sort!" he snapped. He grew momentarily distant as he imagined himself equal in power to Old Man Thunder. "Surely, he will
find me worthy..." he muttered. He came back to himself. "You stay here. Remember: if you run, I will find you and tear you to pieces."
"Of course, Standing Bear. Good luck."
I waited until Standing Bear had fully descended the ravine, and, sure his eyes were closed, I unyoked myself from his Wagon of Too Many Things and
set it rolling down the ravine, roaring like thunder as it careened toward Standing Bear.
"Here comes Old Man Thunder!" I cried. "Be perfectly steadfast, neither flinching nor opening your eyes!"
"Shut up you pitiful horse! I will deal with you in a momen--"
Standing Bear was crushed dead beneath his Wagon of Too Many Things. I trotted on under Brutal Sun.
I never wanted to kill Standing Bear, but then again, I never wanted to be transmogrified into Walks-Far Horse and exiled to the wilderness.
That's all of it.
edit on 8/23/2020 by DictionaryOfExcuses because: (no reason given)