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A firearm safety dilemna... help

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posted on Aug, 1 2020 @ 11:54 PM
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My stepson is 28 years old, and has Asperger's... a form of autism. Intellectually, he is high functioning. He is a smart kid... but he is essentially a 13 year old. He has been living here for the last 3 years, so I know his disability first hand.

He recently came into some money... a small inheritance from his grand-father.

He wants to buy a gun.

There is nothing on his record, to prohibit him from buying a firearm. He has no criminal record. He has no history of violence.

My gut, however... tells me that it is a very bad idea. Seriously.

My wife is in total agreement. The best we can come up with, is to forbid him from carrying anywhere on our property, or in our vehicles.

I would love to figure out a way to explain to him, that he isn't completely capable of making life or death decisions. Carrying any firearm assumes that level of responsibility.

If any of you guys have any ideas... I'd love to hear them...




posted on Aug, 1 2020 @ 11:58 PM
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originally posted by: madmac5150
My stepson is 28 years old, and has Asperger's... a form of autism. Intellectually, he is high functioning. He is a smart kid... but he is essentially a 13 year old. He has been living here for the last 3 years, so I know his disability first hand.

He recently came into some money... a small inheritance from his grand-father.

He wants to buy a gun.

There is nothing on his record, to prohibit him from buying a firearm. He has no criminal record. He has no history of violence.

My gut, however... tells me that it is a very bad idea. Seriously.

My wife is in total agreement. The best we can come up with, is to forbid him from carrying anywhere on our property, or in our vehicles.

I would love to figure out a way to explain to him, that he isn't completely capable of making life or death decisions. Carrying any firearm assumes that level of responsibility.

If any of you guys have any ideas... I'd love to hear them...


You said he was high functioning right? Introduce him to a Co-Ed Archery Club.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:03 AM
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a reply to: madmac5150

It seems that you're beyond discussion on this issue, so I'm asking to satisfy my own curiosity: does your stepson have a hypersensitive fight/flight response?



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:08 AM
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originally posted by: one4all

originally posted by: madmac5150
My stepson is 28 years old, and has Asperger's... a form of autism. Intellectually, he is high functioning. He is a smart kid... but he is essentially a 13 year old. He has been living here for the last 3 years, so I know his disability first hand.

He recently came into some money... a small inheritance from his grand-father.

He wants to buy a gun.

There is nothing on his record, to prohibit him from buying a firearm. He has no criminal record. He has no history of violence.

My gut, however... tells me that it is a very bad idea. Seriously.

My wife is in total agreement. The best we can come up with, is to forbid him from carrying anywhere on our property, or in our vehicles.

I would love to figure out a way to explain to him, that he isn't completely capable of making life or death decisions. Carrying any firearm assumes that level of responsibility.

If any of you guys have any ideas... I'd love to hear them...


You said he was high functioning right? Introduce him to a Co-Ed Archery Club.


His problem isn't a lack of instruction. His problem is that he truly believes Hollywood... THAT, is what scares the hell out of me. Like any teenager, he thinks if he straps on a gun he is both invincible, and infallible.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:12 AM
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originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: madmac5150

It seems that you're beyond discussion on this issue, so I'm asking to satisfy my own curiosity: does your stepson have a hypersensitive fight/flight response?


In a heated situation, he would shoot before thinking.

He wouldn't consider the consequences of pulling the trigger...

ETA: To directly answer your question... yes. We had a coyote on the property last year, and he freaked out. He left our birds alone with a predator, only to run inside and tell me to shoot it. So... yeah.
edit on 2-8-2020 by madmac5150 because: Clarification



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:21 AM
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I definitely understand your concern, Too much could go horribly wrong, Id even worry about Airsoft stuff
edit on 2-8-2020 by putnam6 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:24 AM
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originally posted by: madmac5150

His problem isn't a lack of instruction. His problem is that he truly believes Hollywood... THAT, is what scares the hell out of me. Like any teenager, he thinks if he straps on a gun he is both invincible, and infallible.



Well, teach him.

I would recommend getting a Ruger Mark III. It's specifically designed as a target pistol. It's a .22 caliber. It's kind of big, so not something you would carry around on your hip or concealed. You take him to the range for practice and safety instruction. You teach him to care for it and maintain it. People tend to have more respect for things they have to maintain.

It would be like getting a teenager an old Cadillac to restore. When they have to fix it themselves, they are more careful with it on the road.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:26 AM
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a reply to: madmac5150

Well you can’t stop him so I guess encourage with care, kindness and strict supervision. Agree but place some clear and important boundaries.
My guess, it will last a few months and then after he gets it he will find another want, then channel his interests into that something, then fully encourage and support him with the new desire.
Then offload the weapon

The more you deny the more his want will grow.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:27 AM
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If you don't think he should have a gun don't let him have a gun on your property. That's about all I can say. If he lives in your house on your property, then he's more or less obliged to live by your rules.

He can get pissy all he wants, but it is what it is.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:35 AM
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originally posted by: VictorVonDoom

originally posted by: madmac5150

His problem isn't a lack of instruction. His problem is that he truly believes Hollywood... THAT, is what scares the hell out of me. Like any teenager, he thinks if he straps on a gun he is both invincible, and infallible.



Well, teach him.

I would recommend getting a Ruger Mark III. It's specifically designed as a target pistol. It's a .22 caliber. It's kind of big, so not something you would carry around on your hip or concealed. You take him to the range for practice and safety instruction. You teach him to care for it and maintain it. People tend to have more respect for things they have to maintain.

It would be like getting a teenager an old Cadillac to restore. When they have to fix it themselves, they are more careful with it on the road.


I seriously wish it was that easy. Asperger's just doesn't work that way.

I was a weapons safety guy in the USAF. I am an expert shooter, and instructor.

He simply doesn't have the emotional maturity, in my opinion.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:36 AM
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a reply to: madmac5150

Yeah, that's a tough one. If his neurological differences are open for discussion, it may be best to be direct in pointing out that certain aspects of his nature will put him at a disadvantage in situations that require unwavering level-headed discernment. It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of and he's not alone. Perhaps, on reflection, he will even agree with you. Whatever angle of entry to the topic you choose, good luck.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:43 AM
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a reply to: madmac5150

Same experience, but USN instead.

And I can completely agree that in reality there are some instances where certain people shouldn't have access to firearms.

I hope you don't think I'm talking ill of your son, but yeah certain mental conditions just don't go well with firearms.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:44 AM
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originally posted by: DictionaryOfExcuses
a reply to: madmac5150

Yeah, that's a tough one. If his neurological differences are open for discussion, it may be best to be direct in pointing out that certain aspects of his nature will put him at a disadvantage in situations that require unwavering level-headed discernment. It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of and he's not alone. Perhaps, on reflection, he will even agree with you. Whatever angle of entry to the topic you choose, good luck.


I truly love the kid. I am SO afraid that he is going to end up in trouble. He has a good heart, but he tends to live in his own little fantasy world. I'm afraid that someone will be hurt. My wife is, as well.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:46 AM
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originally posted by: VictorVonDoom

originally posted by: madmac5150

His problem isn't a lack of instruction. His problem is that he truly believes Hollywood... THAT, is what scares the hell out of me. Like any teenager, he thinks if he straps on a gun he is both invincible, and infallible.



Well, teach him.

I would recommend getting a Ruger Mark III. It's specifically designed as a target pistol. It's a .22 caliber. It's kind of big, so not something you would carry around on your hip or concealed. You take him to the range for practice and safety instruction. You teach him to care for it and maintain it. People tend to have more respect for things they have to maintain.

It would be like getting a teenager an old Cadillac to restore. When they have to fix it themselves, they are more careful with it on the road.


Training goes without saying, that's for anybody getting a firearm, but this situation isn't that simple. Even at the age of 13, there is no reason for him to need unsupervised access to a gun. Id do Airsoft or paintball and even that is something you and him need to do together. You are gonna have to be his best bud and teach him everything, Id do that for years till Id even consider a real firearm

I got a .22 when I was 11 but had been around guns since I was 7 or 8 and they were always under lock and key and we could never get them out, unless Dad was there and usually that was for cleaning and such the night before we would go out in the woods hunting or shooting. I finally got a 30/30 when I was 14, but couldn't go hunting alone till I was 16. That was a different time and a totally different situation. Id go with your instincts here
edit on 2-8-2020 by putnam6 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 12:54 AM
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originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: VictorVonDoom

originally posted by: madmac5150

His problem isn't a lack of instruction. His problem is that he truly believes Hollywood... THAT, is what scares the hell out of me. Like any teenager, he thinks if he straps on a gun he is both invincible, and infallible.



Well, teach him.

I would recommend getting a Ruger Mark III. It's specifically designed as a target pistol. It's a .22 caliber. It's kind of big, so not something you would carry around on your hip or concealed. You take him to the range for practice and safety instruction. You teach him to care for it and maintain it. People tend to have more respect for things they have to maintain.

It would be like getting a teenager an old Cadillac to restore. When they have to fix it themselves, they are more careful with it on the road.


Training goes without saying, thats for anybody getting a firearm, but this situation is that simple. Even at the age 13 there is no reason for him to need unsupervised access to a gun. Id do Airsoft or paint ball and even that is something you and him need to do together.You are gonna have to be his best bud and teach him everything, Id do that fir years till Id even consider a real firearm

I got a .22 when I was 11 but had been around guns since I was 7 or 8 and they were always under lock and key and we could never get them out, unless Dad was there and usually that was for cleaning and such the night before we would go out in the woods hunting or shooting. I finally got a 30/30 when I was 14, but couldn't go hunting alone till I was 16


He is looking at getting a .45 or .357 mag. He is 28 years old, and doesn't want to listen to me. He owns a pellet gun, and that is all the experience that he needs. Seriously.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 01:05 AM
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a reply to: madmac5150

Father knows best.

I think you already know what the best answer is.
You're just going to have to put up with his attitude.
And if he does come home with a gun take it from him.

Your house, your rules.
You're the parent.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 01:10 AM
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originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: madmac5150

Father knows best.

I think you already know what the best answer is.
You're just going to have to put up with his attitude.
And if he does come home with a gun take it from him.

Your house, your rules.
You're the parent.


My wife is a redhead.

Second line...




posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 01:16 AM
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originally posted by: madmac5150

originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: VictorVonDoom

originally posted by: madmac5150

His problem isn't a lack of instruction. His problem is that he truly believes Hollywood... THAT, is what scares the hell out of me. Like any teenager, he thinks if he straps on a gun he is both invincible, and infallible.



Well, teach him.

I would recommend getting a Ruger Mark III. It's specifically designed as a target pistol. It's a .22 caliber. It's kind of big, so not something you would carry around on your hip or concealed. You take him to the range for practice and safety instruction. You teach him to care for it and maintain it. People tend to have more respect for things they have to maintain.

It would be like getting a teenager an old Cadillac to restore. When they have to fix it themselves, they are more careful with it on the road.


Training goes without saying, thats for anybody getting a firearm, but this situation is that simple. Even at the age 13 there is no reason for him to need unsupervised access to a gun. Id do Airsoft or paint ball and even that is something you and him need to do together.You are gonna have to be his best bud and teach him everything, Id do that fir years till Id even consider a real firearm

I got a .22 when I was 11 but had been around guns since I was 7 or 8 and they were always under lock and key and we could never get them out, unless Dad was there and usually that was for cleaning and such the night before we would go out in the woods hunting or shooting. I finally got a 30/30 when I was 14, but couldn't go hunting alone till I was 16


He is looking at getting a .45 or .357 mag. He is 28 years old, and doesn't want to listen to me. He owns a pellet gun, and that is all the experience that he needs. Seriously.


I understand legally he doesn't have too listen to you, but you are going to live with that threat because someone with the emotional of 13 year old wants it that way. He does live with you? or is he elsewhere//



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 01:19 AM
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a reply to: madmac5150

Haha! Lucky you!


Darn redheads man. Just something about em.



posted on Aug, 2 2020 @ 01:46 AM
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My idea is that from your OP I am not sure I see a question anywhere in there. It sounds like you already made your decision.



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