Not sure if I posted this one before, but it's fun so if I did I'll post it again anyway?
Have you ever made a real dumb mistake with food or cooking? One which just sticks in the back of your mind and makes you shake your head?
I did once (well probably made some dumb mistakes more than once, but this one I remember the most).
One time way back in college I decided to go to a really nice cheese store and get some really nice cheese for a dinner I wanted to cook. I didn't do
a whole lot of cooking back then so I was pretty inexperienced. So, once inside this place, I quickly realized I was way out of my league. There
were all these people dressed really nice and I just knew they all drank exotic tea with their pinky stuck out. They were all picking out cheeses I
couldn't even pronounce, let alone know what they were. No matter though, I knew what cheese I wanted...and I wanted a BUNCH of it!
The clerk called my number and asked what I wanted. Trying not to look like an idiot I stepped forward and, with the confidence of a great chef from
Europe, announced..."I would like a pound and a half of Nacho Cheese, please"
The whole place fell eerily quiet, and I think someone behind me even giggled a little. The clerk begged my pardon and asked what I said. Beads of
sweat were forming on my forehead, but I nervously repeated my original request. Again, total silence. The clerk shot a puzzled look at another
clerk behind the counter as if to say...how do I respond to this request? You could just tell the gears inside his head were grinding, so many
thoughts shooting through his brain each eye would randomly partially close and then open again, mouth twitching in weird shapes.
Finally, after what seemed like eons of silence, he finally formulated a response. "Ummm, we don't have any of that cheese, sir, but perhaps we
could assist you in finding a cheese which will fit your requirements."
The notion that such a fine establishment couldn't fulfill my request was incomprehensible to me. So incomprehensible that I couldn't just leave well
enough alone and start sobbing like a little girl. Nope, I had to make things worse! "What? I can't believe you don't have any Nacho Cheese!
Are you just out of stock, or what????"
I think I might have added some other superlatives about it being wildly popular and so forth. This
caused private consultation between the two distinguished 'Chees-ierre's (or whatever they were called). There was much hand gesturing and animated
conversation between them, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.
It turns out I had asked for a cheese which neither one of them knew what it was (I guessed). So, in my mind I started preparing a retort to their
next likely question requesting some examples, things like Doritos and Nachos at the mall, you know...Nacho Cheese...the real stuff though not the
I was more than a little mortified when they both informed me there was no such thing as "Nacho Cheese". In order to preserve some sense of relevance
I pointed to some orange cheese I couldn't pronounce and said "Okay, well I'll take that one instead".
and slinked away.
I'm sure if they have a 'Wall of Shame' the story of the dolt who ordered Nacho Cheese is probably on there!
To make myself just a little less humiliated I stopped at 7-11 on the way home and grabbed a can of Cheez-Whiz and a Slurpee. I squirted about 3/4 of
that can in my mouth and chased it down with a cherry Slurpee while rocking out to some Van Halen in the Ghetto Cruiser (my '74 LTD wagon with the
rattle-can paint job) on the way back to my hovel.
Got a similar story?
edit on 7/19/2020 by Flyingclaydisk because: (no reason given)