Most Of The Time Being Right Is The Wrong Thing To Do

Could resist no longer

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: UKTruth

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: UKTruth

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: UKTruth

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: UKTruth
I don't agree at all.
One of the biggest problems society faces is 'feelings over fact'. It's led to what I refer to the 'me' culture. It's all about 'me'. Everything from participation trophies to Supreme Court judges making decisions based on political pressure driven by how a decision might make people feel.

I say be honest and tell the truth. If a person feels bad because they are shown to be wrong, that is their issue.

I'd say your thread title would be more accurate as "Most of the time being right is not always popular with the 'me' culture of today".

It is the opposite of the "me" culture. You admit that you purposely make people feel bad and you don't care. That's a perfect example of you putting yourself first at the expense of someone else's feelings. The need to inform other's of how right you are often has a spirit of meaness and arrogance behind it. And believe me, I love being right and lording it over people as much as anyone else (I am MissSmartypants after all) but I also know that it's self serving and only serves to make people either become defensive or makes them feel bad. And that's just plain wrong and you know it as well as I do. And I bet you're probably feeling pretty defensive right now.

If stating a view makes someone feel bad, that is their issue to deal with.
I do not purposely set out to offend anyone, but I certainly don't care at all if someone feels offended by what I say.
Defensive? Not at all. How could I possibly be defensive or upset at what someone else thinks?

And yet you just had to post a reply defending your point of view. Couldn't help yourself, could you?

Defending ones point of view is not being defensive.
Quite the opposite.
I am familiar with forum strategies whereby a poster will attempt to close a discussion down, by linking any response or challenge they might get to a negative. That doesn't work with me. You'll need to up your game.

No. What I need to do is take my own good advice and be more understanding. Obviously life has given you reasons to be the way you are.

You are correct in that life has given me a reason to be the way I am.
I was brought up to tell the truth and be honest and I have found in life that it is always the best policy - even when dealing with those who are offended by the truth.
Being more understanding does not mean that one should hide or run from truth because it might offend - that is simply playing along with a false narrative so as not to offend. It's a common form of virtue signalling. A facade to make people feel better about being wrong whilst projecting virtue. That's a very dangerous path that leads to real issues in society - which is exactly where we are today. Utter lies driving emotional responses.

It is far better to tell someone why you think they are wrong and then debate the issue. Usually, in those circumstances, both parties learn something. That is true understanding.

People are much more likely to take correction to heart if they can see that it's coming from a place of genuine care and concern for their well being....and not just to point out their flaws. It's about service to others and not oneupmanship.

Nobody mentioned oneupmanship. It's something you brought to the discussion.
Giving an honest opinion is not about oneupmanship.
It should trigger debate.
Hiding what you think in case you offend someone leads us nowhere other than to our demise through the propagation of lies and false narratives.
As for genuine care and concern about people's well being, it's time to be honest again. I will call anyone who claims to genuinely care and have concern for everyone else a complete liar. That's just more virtue signalling. The reality of life is that as human beings we genuinely care about some people and others, well not so much. That is a fact and is born out clearly in the way our world has developed.

a reply to: muzzleflash

Lol! So, what you think I should have agreed with my ex-wife and just been okay with her going off and screwing other dudes?

Sorry, but that ain't me.

How about you keep your judgements to yourself?
You don't know the half of the # involved in that marriage. Her wanting to see other people was just the final straw.

If you are okay with your spouse going off and spending the night screwing other people and coming home at odd hours that's totally on you.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

That is beta think - Nobody respects betas.

People will respect you more if you are honest. It helps to be right too.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

Genuine care and concern for their well being is telling them the truth despite what you think they may want to hear.

People who need genuine care and concern can tell when someone is only saying good positive stuff and sugar coating things to try and make them feel better.

That will just cause trust issues with them thinking your being fake.

I've talked people away from shooting themselves or jumping by telling them the truth.

Telling the truth doesn't make someone inconsiderate or incompassionate.

You can tell the truth and still be there for someone. You can still be a shoulder to lean on.

You can still support people without being insincere or disingenuous.

Just to clarify...not once did I advocate lying to someone. The key is to pick your moment and play the long game. When someone is telling you their troubles and you know that they are wrong about the situation that may not be the most advantageous time to point that out to them. Rather listen patiently with a sympathetic ear...and then at another time when their emotions aren't running high...then you can offer your advice, when they are likely to be more receptive.
I never imagined so many people were going to object to practicing simple kindness. Go figure.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

Maybe you shouldn't be so vague and be more clear in what you meant.

Unless you did so purposefully knowing that there was room for interpretation where people would have differing opinions.

originally posted by: LeoStarchild
a reply to: MissSmartypants

That is beta think - Nobody respects betas.

People will respect you more if you are honest. It helps to be right too.

My intelligence is unsurpassed and I am always right. And my quiet air of authority garner's respect wherever I go. To know me is to love me. You know not whereof you speak.

originally posted by: MissSmartypants
Just to clarify...not once did I advocate lying to someone. The key is to pick your moment and play the long game. When someone is telling you their troubles and you know that they are wrong about the situation that may not be the most advantageous time to point that out to them. Rather listen patiently with a sympathetic ear...and then at another time when their emotions aren't running high...then you can offer your advice, when they are likely to be more receptive.
I never imagined so many people were going to object to practicing simple kindness. Go figure.

Listening patiently with a sympathetic ear also has nothing to do with whether you are being honest or pandering to someone's emotions and feelings. If someone is plain wrong - in your opinion - you should tell them what you think and you tell them early. In the long run it is better for them and better for you. Integrity goes a long way. Saying nothing of your true opinion or waiting to say it later doesn't help. Why would anyone believe a person who is manipulative enough to strategize about when to be honest?

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: MissSmartypants

Maybe you shouldn't be so vague and be more clear in what you meant.

Unless you did so purposefully knowing that there was room for interpretation where people would have differing opinions.

If you feel it was vague then perhaps the message wasn't for you. But someone else may find it speaks to their heart and addresses their particular situation.

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: MissSmartypants

Maybe you shouldn't be so vague and be more clear in what you meant.

Unless you did so purposefully knowing that there was room for interpretation where people would have differing opinions.

If you feel it was vague then perhaps the message wasn't for you. But someone else may find it speaks to their heart and addresses their particular situation.

It's less about being vague. It's more that you have admitted you only tell the truth when you feel it is the right time to do so. That makes everything you say unbelievable. How would anyone know when you are being genuine vs playing a game?

a reply to: MissSmartypants

yikes

My intelligence is unsurpassed and I am always right. And my quiet air of authority garner's respect wherever I go. To know me is to love me. You know not whereof you speak.

You must be so fun at parties.

** convoluted speech doesn't make you smart.. ats points don't make you smart/right either.

edit- Wheres all that empathy you said you had? Because you don't have any. You are a sociopath and simp yourself for likes and stars and shares and subscribes. lol

I love this timeline.

originally posted by: UKTruth

originally posted by: MissSmartypants
Just to clarify...not once did I advocate lying to someone. The key is to pick your moment and play the long game. When someone is telling you their troubles and you know that they are wrong about the situation that may not be the most advantageous time to point that out to them. Rather listen patiently with a sympathetic ear...and then at another time when their emotions aren't running high...then you can offer your advice, when they are likely to be more receptive.
I never imagined so many people were going to object to practicing simple kindness. Go figure.

Listening patiently with a sympathetic ear also has nothing to do with whether you are being honest or pandering to someone's emotions and feelings. If someone is plain wrong - in your opinion - you should tell them what you think and you tell them early. In the long run it is better for them and better for you. Integrity goes a long way. Saying nothing of your true opinion or waiting to say it later doesn't help. Why would anyone believe a person who is manipulative enough to strategize about when to be honest?

My goal is to help the person and waiting til a time when my advice is likely to be the most effective is the best way to achieve that goal. Now, if my goal was to showcase my superiority and my vast wisdom and knowledge then any time will do.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

I really really REALLY hope you are not involved in teaching..

originally posted by: UKTruth

originally posted by: MissSmartypants
Just to clarify...not once did I advocate lying to someone. The key is to pick your moment and play the long game. When someone is telling you their troubles and you know that they are wrong about the situation that may not be the most advantageous time to point that out to them. Rather listen patiently with a sympathetic ear...and then at another time when their emotions aren't running high...then you can offer your advice, when they are likely to be more receptive.
I never imagined so many people were going to object to practicing simple kindness. Go figure.

Listening patiently with a sympathetic ear also has nothing to do with whether you are being honest or pandering to someone's emotions and feelings. If someone is plain wrong - in your opinion - you should tell them what you think and you tell them early. In the long run it is better for them and better for you. Integrity goes a long way. Saying nothing of your true opinion or waiting to say it later doesn't help. Why would anyone believe a person who is manipulative enough to strategize about when to be honest?

My unconditional love for my fellow man is genuine and sincere. It would be manipulative to try to force my opinion on someone when they are not in a frame of mind to listen to it.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

My intelligence is unsurpassed and I am always right. And my quiet air of authority garner's respect wherever I go. To know me is to love me. You know not whereof you speak. - this is not love

This IS a form of trying to force your opinion because well.. your'e always right.

Believe me .. we hear you .. you are just full of

You must be having a bad day or had an argument or something because this thread is just to pad your ego.

originally posted by: LeoStarchild
a reply to: MissSmartypants

I really really REALLY hope you are not involved in teaching..

And you prove my point exactly.Even if I had some knowledge and advice that would make your life wonderful beyond imagining were you simply to follow it...now would not be the time to tell you...not if I were truly striving to help you.
It's like if you're trying to counsel and advise an alcoholic on the dangers and problems that their alcoholisn is causing them....you don't do it when they're drunk.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

A wise mentor of mine once told me, "A friend is a person who will tell you, that you have a big green booger hanging out of your nose, instead of letting you walk around with it".

There are times when being kind, is the most unkind thing you can do.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

I know God Darling. I don't need your fake business.

I understand you may be triggered that I think you full of it. Your knee jerk reaction displayed that.

now, get off the computer and clean your room.

a reply to: Blaine91555

Those are wise words.

"Life is tough, It's even tougher if you're stupid" - George Carlin