It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Desperate Time Call For Desperate Measures, An ATS Auction

page: 1
29
<<   2  3  4 >>

log in

join
share:
+4 more 
posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:04 PM
link   
 


Sacrifices must be made. Selfishness needs to be replaced by philanthropic and charitable ideals. We all need to sacrifice for the site.

In that vein I propose an auction where we sell off some of our most prized assets and use them to fund the continued running of the site. Have a Monet you no longer want? Sell it. Grandma's tea service? Hock that thing. Signed photo of Kim Kardashian's hobbit ass? I might give you a buck fitty. You need to do your part.

To start it off I'm going to sell one of my most valuable possessions, something that I've cultivated and cared for over years. I made sure it was well kept and used for only its intended purpose. I offer you one, well-used but valuable sock puppet account:



Features:
  • Comes with its own Conservative viewpoints (love guns, statutes and that piece of paper thingy our country was founded on)
  • Is gainfully employed
  • Can beat an intern like no one's business
  • Very hairy, can double as a throw rug
  • Never goes to Vegas and never wears pig masks even if you see a large hairy man at the Bellagio buffet destroying that thing while wearing a pig mask
  • Sense of humor
  • Farts loudly (it will remind you of the First Tuba for the Boston Symphony Orchestra)
  • Likes movies, the gorier the better
  • Has some friends that actually make him look appealing


Bidding starts at a $5. All proceeds donated to The Above Network.

Any bidders and what are you auctioning off?


 




edit on 3-7-2020 by AugustusMasonicus because: networkdude has no beer because a sasquatch stole it




posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:11 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Kinda feels like buying a seat on the titanic....



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:22 PM
link   
Does anyone here like bridges...?



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:32 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I'll give you $10 for the personal property your auctioning.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:34 PM
link   
I will personally donate all my flags, stars, points, Karma score and way above top secret score to the cause. They must be worth plenty by now.
I have literally lost thousands of points due to my misbehavior on ATS, but I knew they were going to a good cause so I was able to somewhat console my broken heart, knowing they wouldn't be wasted.
edit on 3-7-2020 by olaru12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:35 PM
link   
Just don't sell the forum to the highest bidder, it'll wind up owned by one of the Clinton friends.
Not like this is the onion, but there's no accounting for what might be.
Don't let them own the whole internet, it's getting hard to find sites not owned operated and censored by them.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:35 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

11 dollars and I'll toss in a coupon for a free prdicure.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:39 PM
link   

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

11 dollars and I'll toss in a coupon for a free prdicure.


I might go $12 or $13 if you can tell me what a prdicure is ??



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:44 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
When I saw it's you who made the thread, I thought it must be a joke.

Then I read your post and found that you're dead serious. I apologize for judging the book by the cover.

Your generosity touches my heart to the point I remote viewed 2 or 3 mods crying.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:54 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Tell you what..... You throw in some hooker parts and you've got a deal.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:55 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


I’ll give you $6 but you can keep your sock puppet. I was raised differently apparently, but where I’m from we don’t use other people’s sock puppets. I don’t care how good you washed it.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 04:01 PM
link   

originally posted by: NightFlight

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

11 dollars and I'll toss in a coupon for a free prdicure.


I might go $12 or $13 if you can tell me what a prdicure is ??


It’s like a pedicure but with a ball gag and whips



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 04:02 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I don't know I don't want to constantly watch what that filthy thing is doing now.
Does it have any features like say a remote control, so I just can turn it off or zapp it if it misbehaves? Can I mute it?
What does it eat? Do I just plug in my solar power bank?
And very important: does it vibrate?


Oh and I put my upload gallery up for the good cause.
After I became the anti-christ, made alien contact and solved the riddle of eternal-youth-gymnastics that will be worth something people. Get it while you can.


edit on 3-7-2020 by Peeple because: add



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 04:07 PM
link   

originally posted by: TheLieWeLive
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


... I don’t care how good you washed it.


It'll lose its value if you wash it and also would be a mite genocide.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 04:08 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I'll give you 3 bit coins, 1 half drank Miller Lite, 2 kinda brown bananas, and if you throw in TAT I'll add a sweet 1st edition Thlughty coffee table book.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 04:28 PM
link   
a reply to: watchitburn
meh, parts are parts. Whether or not they are from a hooker shouldn't matter. If I tell you they came from a hooker though, hopefully that's good enough.



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 05:08 PM
link   

originally posted by: FauxMulder
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I'll give you 3 bit coins, 1 half drank Miller Lite, 2 kinda brown bananas, and if you throw in TAT I'll add a sweet 1st edition Thlughty coffee table book.


Hell ill take the bitcoin lol ill send you the coinbase id



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 05:18 PM
link   
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


I’ll take the sweet fella, I bid $666 since he likes sixes 😊



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 05:38 PM
link   

originally posted by: ManBehindTheMask

originally posted by: FauxMulder
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I'll give you 3 bit coins, 1 half drank Miller Lite, 2 kinda brown bananas, and if you throw in TAT I'll add a sweet 1st edition Thlughty coffee table book.


Hell ill take the bitcoin lol ill send you the coinbase id


By bitcoin I meant "bits of coin".



posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 06:14 PM
link   
I have $2 on the picture of Kim's butt.



new topics

top topics



 
29
<<   2  3  4 >>

log in

join