posted on Jul, 3 2020 @ 03:04 PM
Sacrifices must be made. Selfishness needs to be replaced by philanthropic and charitable ideals. We all need to sacrifice for the site.
In that vein I propose an auction where we sell off some of our most prized assets and use them to fund the continued running of the site. Have a
Monet you no longer want? Sell it. Grandma's tea service? Hock that thing. Signed photo of Kim Kardashian's hobbit ass? I might give you a buck fitty.
You need to do your part.
To start it off I'm going to sell one of my most valuable possessions, something that I've cultivated and cared for over years. I made sure it was
well kept and used for only its intended purpose. I offer you one, well-used but valuable sock puppet account:
- Comes with its own Conservative viewpoints (love guns, statutes and that piece of paper thingy our country was founded on)
- Is gainfully employed
- Can beat an intern like no one's business
- Very hairy, can double as a throw rug
- Never goes to Vegas and never wears pig masks even if you see a large hairy man at the Bellagio buffet destroying that thing while wearing a pig
- Sense of humor
- Farts loudly (it will remind you of the First Tuba for the Boston Symphony Orchestra)
- Likes movies, the gorier the better
- Has some friends that actually make him look appealing
Bidding starts at a $5. All proceeds donated to The Above Network.
Any bidders and what are you auctioning off?
edit on 3-7-2020 by AugustusMasonicus because: networkdude has no beer because a sasquatch stole it